The reason why i haven't been on in awhile...

I love all of you girls and i think this site is awesome.

but this site stresses me out in unusual ways and its not anyone's fault.

this year has been a terrible health year for me. i'm not complaining but a ton of stuff came up that myinsurance would not cover that i had to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars for out of my own pocket.

because of that, i am going to be short on my half of what i have to pay for the wedding. its stressing me out like you wouldn't believe and it keeps me up at night. FH and i split the tab, 50/50 and i know he will have his but i know iw on't have mine, not even close.

he knows about this but doesn't want to talk about it really. i know he has money saved and can pay for what i can't cover, i just feel so bad and coming onto this site makes me feel even worse. i suggested cutting back on vednors or pushing back the wedding but his family is super traditional and they would all take that as highly offensive.

so, sorry that i have been missing in action lately...

i'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

things always come up unexpectedly, but you guys are a team now and i'm sure he is more than happy to help. you're going to be his wife.

hang in there <3

I'm sorry you're going through all the health stuff Totally can understand your concerns and stress re: the wedding. It really is difficult especially when everything adds up. I hope the New Year brings you good health and that it's stress free for you. It sounds like your FH is totally on your side and will get you through this time.

If you ever need someone to talk to, we're all here for you.

oh no I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I hope you are taking care of your health first and foremost, that is the most important thing!
Does FH's family know about your health problems? I feel like thats kind of offensive of them to push you to go through with something and stress out over it instead of pushing it back. Its not like you are just pushing it back for the heck of it or anything.

This site totally stresses me out all the time too. Its like I wish I had the $ to do all these things everyone else is doing, but I dont. In the long run you have to remember that this day is about you and FH's marriage, not a blow out party.

I hope you figure it all out. Lots of

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsFox

i'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

things always come up unexpectedly, but you guys are a team now and i'm sure he is more than happy to help. you're going to be his wife.

hang in there <3

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this is how i feel exactly

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Posted by Chanwich

oh no I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I hope you are taking care of your health first and foremost, that is the most important thing!
Does FH's family know about your health problems? I feel like thats kind of offensive of them to push you to go through with something and stress out over it instead of pushing it back. Its not like you are just pushing it back for the heck of it or anything.

This site totally stresses me out all the time too. Its like I wish I had the $ to do all these things everyone else is doing, but I dont. In the long run you have to remember that this day is about you and FH's marriage, not a blow out party.

I hope you figure it all out. Lots of

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This is how I feel... Take care girl!

thanks guys - they all know about the health problems that have come up and its not so much his parents and sisters but those types of old world situations where everyone will be like 'oh-but-what-will-so-and-so-think?'

i've literally mentioned this to FH and he flat out said no, and every time i bring anything like that up, he makes a joke out of it and then tells me the real reason that i am trying to push back the wedding is because i don't love him - which sidetracks the convo which is what he wanted to do in the first place. sigh.

aww hon. I'm so hear for you! my chron's crap costs me so much $ its not funny and has pushed back our wedding TWICE! at this point i just wanna freaking elope.

you FH loves you and financially you wont always be 50/50. he knows that. dont stress it. and hell, im here if you ever wanna vent. i'm the venting QUEEN! lol

Ugh, that's really tough. I'm sorry about everything that's happening We're here for you!

I'm sorry you are dealing with this

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Posted by leesah85

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsFox

i'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

things always come up unexpectedly, but you guys are a team now and i'm sure he is more than happy to help. you're going to be his wife.

hang in there <3

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this is how i feel exactly

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Ditto. Chin up!

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Posted by leesah85

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsFox

i'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

things always come up unexpectedly, but you guys are a team now and i'm sure he is more than happy to help. you're going to be his wife.

hang in there <3

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this is how i feel exactly

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i 100% agree with this. i am so sorry liw makes you feel sad i am positive you will get through this though

thanks for all the support ladies.
i'm just really stressed about this whole situation because its a lot of money that i am short and its not like i can just make up the extra money.
literally, i have nightmares about this every night

I am in the situation that FH is in the position to put away way more money per month than I am...also he had quite a bit already put away in savings when we got engaged and I had next to nothing!

Then my sister got married this summer, and little issues here and there led me to spending at least $1000 more on her wedding than I thought I would need to....but, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right? Well this has made me get behind in my savings schedule for the wedding. I have felt tremendously guilty over this and that finances are generally tight for me and that FH has had to step in and help me out.

I have felt terrible about this, but I know things won't always be this way... One day FH said to me 'you need to get used to the idea that we're going to take care of each other.' He might be stepping in helping us save enough for the wedding where I have gotten behind, but he reminds me that I step and and take care of him in a million other ways constantly.

I think the moral of the story is: stop thinking of wedding money as 'my wedding money' and 'his wedding money'...its our money now....this is clearly how your FH sees it. Sometimes life gets in the way of our plans. Your health is more important than anything and that needs to be your priority. FH might not be able to cure your health issues but if he CAN help with the wedding funds, then this might make him feel that he is doing SOMETHING to help you. Please don't make yourself sick over this!

Love I have missd you!! Im sorry for all that you are going thru... Keep your head up and stay positive!! We are all here for you!!! <3

sorry to hear, but def stay positive!!

FH is fronting way more than me thanks goodness for him!

As a previous poster said, you are getting married. There really is no more Mine & His. It's Ours. I'm in the opposite position. FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, but FH hasn't contriubuted any money yet. Why, because he has other things that he is paying for to keep us a float. Is it ideal, nope. But we are a team. This is my time to step up for him. There will be a time in our lives that he will be the one stepping up to keep me a float. You have to be ok with that.

Also, make sure that you are keeping a record of all the money you are spending on the medical issues. These are all tax deductable. You could be looking at a pretty sizable tax refund which you can use directly towards your portion of the wedding.

I hope you feel better soon and that the new year brings better things!

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this!

I know you said you tried, but honestly the best thing is to talk about it.

You have to really talk to FH make sure he knows how stressed you are that you aren't sleeping and say you will feel better if you have a financial plan.

Once you see it on paper and you make a plan it will feel better- first you will be overwhelmed but once you map it out and come up with something it will all work out

As hard as it may be to see FH split more of the bill, its ok! Hes going to be your husband, partner for life...if he loves you, he will understand and prob won't even bat an eye...life is full of challenges, this is just one little bump in the road

I hope it all works out

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Posted by MissingLI

As a previous poster said, you are getting married. There really is no more Mine & His. It's Ours. I'm in the opposite position. FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, but FH hasn't contriubuted any money yet. Why, because he has other things that he is paying for to keep us a float. Is it ideal, nope. But we are a team. This is my time to step up for him. There will be a time in our lives that he will be the one stepping up to keep me a float. You have to be ok with that.

Also, make sure that you are keeping a record of all the money you are spending on the medical issues. These are all tax deductable. You could be looking at a pretty sizable tax refund which you can use directly towards your portion of the wedding.

I hope you feel better soon and that the new year brings better things!

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i didn't think of this! about keeping it for tax purposes! thanks so much for letting me know!