The Saga Continues -- You Be The Judge

OK, a while back I posted that I had a little spat with my MIL because I found out that she wanted to buy us tix to the Radio City Christmas show, a show I had repeatedly said I had no interest in seeing. She felt that I wasn't appreciative of the thought. We worked that out.

Well, now we have a new problem. I mentioned during all of this that I really wanted to see the Nutcracker -- I'm not into ballet but I wanted to see it. So last night she surprises us and tells us she's gotten us tix which is great. The problem is the tix are for Friday, December 17 and yesterday I was informed (before I knew anything about the tix) that the president of my department is having a holiday party at his home for just my department and their spouses. Now, I hate 'kiss-up' holiday parties, but this is how I feel

1. I've been with this company less than a year, so I'm still paying my dues. If I was there for 2 years or more, I could probably skip it, but I almost feel like I have to be there.

2. This is not like a big company party at a restaurant, where you mix with people you'll never see again, this is a group of about 50 people who work together every day.

3. The head of this group is going above and beyond by opening his home to us.

4. When they had a summer gathering, I didn't go (I had other legit plans), but I don't want it to look like I don't want to hang with them

I believe that it's important to know and like the people you work with. It doesn't matter how good you are, if they don't like you, they'll find ways to hold you back.

My MIL can't get this concept and feels that I am picking my job over her present. I told her to call the box office and see if she can exchange them for another date and she's gonna try today, but the ticket clearly says, 'No exchanges', so we're not hopeful. The other problem is each ticket was $62, which I'd hate for her to have to eat, and I'm confident we could sell them if we had to. She feels that she got me something I really wanted to see and I'm not appreciative and now she's acting all hurt and cold towards me.

It's not like I had these tickets and then found out about the party. It was the other way around. I feel as though I'm being put in a very tight spot and it's a difficult circumstance.

Thoughts?

Just a suggestion, why not buy another set when you can go see itand give them to someone as a gift. Not recycling but just someone who you would think would like to see it as well.

PS if you want Ill buy them from you and solve your problem mY mom and my gd mom I think would like to go

I totally understand. My husband didn't like people at his alst job at all, but he still occasionally felt the need to to go functions, especially when he skipped previous ones.

So, yes, I think this is very important to attend. I honestly don't know what to tell you about the tickets though.

She really should have checked with you about a date. The holidays are so busy.

HINT. Ill buy them if you want.

Not to subtle huh?

Makes a great Chanukah gift

don, i totally agree with u, u need to go to that work party, i am doing the same thing, it looks so bad when u dont go to those kinda things..

i would try and call the box office and xplain the dilemma and get tix for a different day...or re-gift them... or sell them and buy new tix... many otpions r open to you..but no ur not wrong at all..while it is a very nice gift sometimes work hasta come first..

That's a tough situation.

Is there a way you can make an appearance at the party and excuse yourself for the show? Is this a mandatory work party or just a social gtg?

I can understand why your MIL would be upset she got you something you said you wanted and then said no thank you, I can't use them. Her feeling are understandably hurt.

Are the tickets just for you and Christine or was it a family affair? If they are for just the two of you, I would sell these tickets and try to get a pair for the 18th or as close to the original date as possible. If it was to be a family affair, I would as politely as possible decline the work party.

Good luck.

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Posted by ChristineC68

That's a tough situation.

Is there a way you can make an appearance at the party and excuse yourself for the show? Is this a mandatory work party or just a social gtg?

I can understand why your MIL would be upset she got you something you said you wanted and then said no thank you, I can't use them. Her feeling are understandably hurt.

Are the tickets just for you and Christine or was it a family affair? If they are for just the two of you, I would sell these tickets and try to get a pair for the 18th or as close to the original date as possible. If it was to be a family affair, I would as politely as possible decline the work party.

Good luck.

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this is a social gtg and it's not mandatory per se, but i've only been there less than a year. It's not like a big party where I can get lost in the shuffle. This is at the group head's house and it's in NJ, so I can't do both.

The tix are for me and Christine only

Hmmmmm...I can see why you MIL is upset..
But if you think you gotta go to the office party..maybe that is
what you need to do.
I really have no advice...except ask boosh what to do?

I don't think selling the tix and getting new ones is the issue. She is hurt because she feels the thought wasn't appreciated. I know how she feels, but when it comes to your career you have to make hard decisions. Also, she could have consulted you about the date. I would never buy tickets for something without that.

Unfortunatley stuff happens and you have to deal with it. Hubby got us Circus tix last year and the day before something work related came up that he could not blow off so I sat home on my b-day because nobody was available at such short notice to go with me. -that sucked

Sell the tickets. Then, get new ones for a date that works for you and attend your work holiday party..

I think she made a mistake in not asking us , considering it is the holidays, but she wanted to suprise us.

I said I would go to see the show because frankly I could care less what Don's boss thinks of me if I dont go to this party.

Hmm... what a dilemma

office politics SUCK and yes, I think its very important that you attend this dinner. There are plenty of things we have to do for our jobs that we don't want to, but its all part of the game, etc

I do believe that if your MIL cannot get an exchange, then (as everyone has already stated) accept them graciously and try to sell them.. I don't think you'd have a problem selling them at all

Good Luck!

Thank you everyone!! I just got off the phone with T and she is buying the tickets!!

Thank you T!!!!!!!!

Thank You

Ill see you next Friday

Yay! 'T' saves the day

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Posted by MuchInLuvMichi

don, i totally agree with u, u need to go to that work party, i am doing the same thing, it looks so bad when u dont go to those kinda things..

i would try and call the box office and xplain the dilemma and get tix for a different day...or re-gift them... or sell them and buy new tix... many otpions r open to you..but no ur not wrong at all..while it is a very nice gift sometimes work hasta come first..

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You took the words right out of my mouth! Your still paying your dues. You gotta go to the party. How does the wifey feel about this?