The straw that broke the camels back! (long)

I don't even know where to begin at this point, but I have so much going on right now that I can't take it anymore. I tried to avoid venting about any of this, but maybe it would be better if I just got it out...

My shower is coming up on Feb 28th and my sister and I sent out all of the invites with RSVP's and all the information for this past Friday. I knew from the beginning, that having my IL's come would be a fat chance in H*&%. However, my husband and I expected that my MIL and his two sisters would come no matter what, considering they are immediate family. Well, a lot of people on his mom's side just didn't bother responding with a no and his Mom just didn't respond. His older sister (19) did, but said she couldn't afford to fly and come up again when the baby was born in about 6 wks from today. I was hurt and just said, yep it does get expensive making a lot of trips. His mom, however, didn't say anything to us at all. In fact, he had to track her down and call her at her job to find out what was going on. She told him that she just didn't know because she decided to move that weekend and wasn't sure if she could get the keys early enough to come here. OK, so I just don't get why that was never communicated and why suddenly its OK that your son is deeply hurt by this because she said to him I know your mad, but?!?! The next words were, when are you coming to LI? The gall to ask that to someone who's wife is due in 6 wks. I just simply don't get it. On top of that, my shower was rescheduled because of a baptism (my husband is the Godfather) that was suppose to be last month was cancelled at the last moment with the knowledge that my shower was to be on that Saturday. I unfortunately can't get in to this, but basically I just feel like we are suppose to drop what we are doing just to come to LI to visit at anytime. We have traveled so many times to LI and his mom has yet to be here once in the 5 years my husband has lived here. Many people haven't come here and always make excuses...the new one is that the shower, birth, and baptism are too close and no one can afford to come here BUT anytime this happens to us, we are *expected* to be there in a moments notice. To be honest, fine my IL's apparently don't like me enough to come but to see how hurt my husband is...that is what stresses me out. He told me last night that he only seems to have me and the baby. I told him that his brother and father are always there for him and that my family always treats him like one of them. But, I know that ever since I loss my father, he knows that grudges never solve anything...time is too short to take advantage of what time we do have with family. His family (mom's side atleast) doesn't feel the same way.

Then today, at work, I get news of a regrouping of my department and it is partly to do with me leaving for maternity leave. I was passed up for a promotion last March because I was told that I was young (not in so many direct words) and I know that I was now passed up for another one because I am about to go out on maternity leave. Then the Lab Director is on me about giving him my exact plan for my maternity leave (which I have told them 12 wks) on what my intentions are on coming back. I told him full-time and apparently that isn't enough. I don't know exactly what the heck they want...a detailed labor/birth/exact date of return?!? Gosh if I know. Also, since I was moved out of the lab, if I had intentions of going back in to a different group. I don't even know how to answer because the new reorganization is complete bull and I just hate my job enough to not want to come back at all but how am I suppose to know what will be open when I come back. It is so depressing that health insurance is so expensive and the only reason I can't be a SAHM.

I think my hormones are gettng the best of me and I literally just feel like laying in bed and not doing anything for a very long, long time.

Thanks for listening...

I hope everything works out for you.
Im sure that those that DO attend your shower will make it a very special day for you and thats all that matters.

It sounds like you and hubby have a wonderful support between the 2 of you.

Try not to be so stressed. Dont let all these details get to you.
I dont think you have to tell your job any more info than your already did.
I hate hearing how preggos are treated in some workplaces. So unfair


Feel better, that precious baby will be here soon, and thats the most important thing in yours and hubby's life right now!

Just sending some hugs your way!

I'm sure your shower will be great no matter what. Try to avoid those who stress you out as much as you can. You don't need that.
Try and just think that in a short time your little one will be in your arms and how wonderful it will be for you and your DH.

Aww Nancy...I am sorry things are going this way. Just relax and let things slide. It will be better after your little one is in your arms!!

I think your husband needs to speak to his family about how upset he is. If they truly cannot afford to come to the shower, and christening then that is one thing but the fact that they are just so rude (not RSVPing) is unacceptable in my book. I also have relatives that don't RSVP and it totally pi$$es me off too. If his own mother cannot make the time to attend your shower then you should realize that she will not be here for other important events either. It is truly her lose though!

Sorry about work. It is totally b/s to not get promotions due to age or pregnancy. legally you are allowed 12 weeks so just write a word document that states EDD and that you will be taking the full 12 weeks of maternity leave beginning on the day your child is born. Don't write that you plan to return to work but verbally tell him that. If you are nervous about something happening to your job then have your return position and salary in your word document and have it signed by your boss.

Maybe you and DH can go see a movie this week and just chill out and relax together. Sometimes that helps Scott and I when stuff stinks.

Thanks everyone for the hugs! I really don't want to be at work today or for the next 6 weeks. I must confront the Lab Director and discuss my future, I guess. I spoke with my husband and he doesn't understand what they want from me either. Regardless, I am going to tell them what they want to hear and during my 12 weeks come to our own decision. My husband remains hopeful that I won't have to return...he really should win an award for the world's best husband!!

Just wanted to send you some hugs and tell you that everything will work out. Just try not to get yourself so upset, you have a baby to thnk about too.

Nancy ... it probably seems so overwhelming right now, but everything will work out.

Sounds like you and your hubby are lucky to have such a wonderful relationship