the view from the other side as a BM

So one of my best college friend's bach party is 2 weeks after my wedding (I'm in her BP). She is doing the bach in Boston, where no one is from, so we all have to travel, and I have to fly since I live in NC. Then the other BMs are all saying expect to pay $700-800 for the weekend I don't have that kind of money to spend! I really don't even know what to respond to the emails from the other BP members.

I feel like I would never tell my BP to 'expect to pay this amount' because I know not everyone can afford it I know this isn't my friend doing it because the bach activities are a surprise, but I also don't want to be a debbie downer. Suggestions?

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Posted by IrishAli

Will you even be back from your HM?

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this was my initial thought.

$700-$800 is wayyyyy too much. There is no way people can afford that for a bach party. I would say that I would feel awful if each BM spent that on mine, but that wouldn't even happen, because it's just redic.

I don't know how to get out of that one.

What are you spending that much money on??

I'd be honest with them. Tell them I will have just gotten married myself and won't have $800 on top of my airfare, is there a cheaper hotel, can we put more people in a room... and ask for a breakdown of what they expect to spend $800 on. Tell them you really want to go but that money is really just an issue.

This is one weekend?? With how many people??

I wouldn't go if I didn't have the money and your friend should understand. Not EVERYONE goes to bach parties. If you can, you will.

That is A LOT of money to put out for a bach party and don't forget, you know this doesn't include activities either. Dinner, Drinks, Etc. So You're looking at a lot more.

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Posted by PhyllisNJoe


That is A LOT of money to put out for a bach party and don't forget, you know this doesn't include activities either. Dinner, Drinks, Etc. So You're looking at a lot more.

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Ooooh, I figured that was all factored in, is that just for accomodations? Cause i'd be like HELLLL NOOOO

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Posted by IrishAli

Will you even be back from your HM?

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we aren't going on a HM right away, so I will be around to go, and I really do want to go, I just can't afford it!

Apparently the schedule is something like: Everybody get hotel rooms in the expensive part of boston for two nights (requested by my friend that we all stay together) then Friday go on a boat tour of Boston, go to dinner, then go out to the bar, then on Saturday its brunch, pole dancing lessons, then strip club, then fancy club with bottle service. I'm not a drinker by any means so I may be able to get away with not buying myself too many drinks, but lord this adds up!

ETA the estimate was with everything factored in, which I still think is too much. I'm already not going to her shower since thats in upstate NY or Chicago, and I know she really wants me to go to the bach

I'd probably bail after brunch on Saturday, that'll probably save you like half. The pole dancing, strip club, bottle service stuff... that's the real expensive part I think after the hotel.

That's a lot for 1 weekend.. it sounds like fun but geez! That's expensive!

I would never expect anyone to pay that much!

Why do they need to do so many expensive things? I don't go to clubs either- dive bars are more my scene!

Question one- why are they trying to fit so many things into one weekend? It seems like a lot!

I would definitely voice my concern over cash since you are also financing a wedding. I know you want to go, but I probably would not attend due to money issues