the wedding may be off!

We had an arguement because i wanted to throw one of the groomsmen out since he tried to jeapordize our relationship aug 16th with a strip joint...im not talking to my groom since he doesnt want to cancel him out..i sent an email this morning canceling that groomsman
so the wedding may be off...what do you think girls im so upset that my fh is choosing his idiotic friend over me, he did not call me back yesterday...can you believe this?
im sorry but i must put my foot down and this is what i think is best to do....he hates seeing my fh getting hitched and has always been disrespectful to fh i want him out!
fh doesnt know i emailed him this morning

Don't think the worst yet. I personally wouldn't have emailed the friend. But you can't take it back, it's already sitting in his inbox. I would have sat FH down and tried to make him see my side. I also wouldn't have gotten mad that they went to a strip joint. But again, we don't know the history between you and FH and you, FH and his friend so. I hope everything works out for you.

I think youre being a little silly, in my opinion. The groomsman didn't try to break you guys up. Yeah maybe your FH shouldve asked you first, but you can't control him, nor should you be able to... relationships need to be mutually controlling. I don't think its your decision who his groomsmen should be, and for you to go ahead and e-mail the groomsmen canceling him was childish and ridiculous. Put yourself in his position... for whatever reason, he doesnt like something one of your bridesmaids did... he emails them and tells them they're out of the wedding. Would you, or would you not flip out because of his actions? Your FH is a grown man... let him handle his business. I think this is a lot more than just you wanting to kick the groomsman out. Do you not trust your FH? If thats the case, then maybe the wedding should be called off, since trust is the basis of all healthy relationships.

I'm sorry, but I think you're completely wrong in this situation. Good luck to you.

i have to agree with some of the other girls who have responded to the various threads about your situation--emailing the GM was prob an irrational move that's going to leave you apologizing later when you want to be able to stand your ground.

however, unlike many of the other posters, i understand why you feel so betrayed. much of the situation is still unclear to me though. had you talked honestly with FH about your feelings regarding strippers at what i'm assuming was the bach party? did he make it clear to his GM that the strip club wasn't okay? how did he handle the situation once he was in it?

honestly, i do understand why you're upset, but i'd be taking these issues up with FH first. it sounds like what the GM did was disrespectful, but you're not marrying him.

Don't make any irrational decisions out of anger. Maybe you guys just need a little break and then try to work things out. How do you know for a fact that this guy is trying to break you up? If your FH loves you I'm sure that anything anyone says will not influence him in anyway to not be with you, and if it does, than he proably isn't someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don't call off the wedding just yet, give it some time and talk to him. Going to a strip club is not a reason to end a relationship, keep your head up and try to relax.

the gm and his friends which used to be my fh's friends got angry when we stopped going out because we wanted to be alone and get serious so they started harrassing us via phone calls at 2am in the morning every sat night stating that fh is a wuss for being in a relationship the blow job thing was to aim to ruin us at a strip club but fh didnt go they asked him again two weeks later stating they will wait outside until he comes out if he said no to the strip club


i want him out of the party! otherwise i wont show

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Posted by fitchc

the gm and his friends which used to be my fh's friends got angry when we stopped going out because we wanted to be alone and get serious so they started harrassing us via phone calls at 2am in the morning every sat night stating that fh is a wuss for being in a relationship the blow job thing was to aim to ruin us at a strip club but fh didnt go they asked him again two weeks later stating they will wait outside until he comes out if he said no to the strip club


i want him out of the party! otherwise i wont show

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You're going to let a bunch of immature guys ruin your wedding to the man you love? I find this a little strange...JMO!!! You will be so busy the day of your wedding you won't even notice he's there. I don't think that's a good enough reason to call off your wedding, unless there is some underlying reason and you are second guessing marrying him?

I think you need to ask yourself if you are willing to let a bunch of guys ruin the life you and FH are trying to build?

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Posted by fitchc

the gm and his friends which used to be my fh's friends got angry when we stopped going out because we wanted to be alone and get serious so they started harrassing us via phone calls at 2am in the morning every sat night stating that fh is a wuss for being in a relationship the blow job thing was to aim to ruin us at a strip club but fh didnt go they asked him again two weeks later stating they will wait outside until he comes out if he said no to the strip club


i want him out of the party! otherwise i wont show

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It sounds like his friends are immature and this type of behavior will probably continue after you have been married too ... so you need to talk to your FH and tell him how you feel about his friends and he needs to be man enough to tell them to stop the behavior you think is disrespectul to your relationship

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Posted by mdawg

I think youre being a little silly, in my opinion. The groomsman didn't try to break you guys up. Yeah maybe your FH shouldve asked you first, but you can't control him, nor should you be able to... relationships need to be mutually controlling. I don't think its your decision who his groomsmen should be, and for you to go ahead and e-mail the groomsmen canceling him was childish and ridiculous. Put yourself in his position... for whatever reason, he doesnt like something one of your bridesmaids did... he emails them and tells them they're out of the wedding. Would you, or would you not flip out because of his actions? Your FH is a grown man... let him handle his business. I think this is a lot more than just you wanting to kick the groomsman out. Do you not trust your FH? If thats the case, then maybe the wedding should be called off, since trust is the basis of all healthy relationships.

I'm sorry, but I think you're completely wrong in this situation. Good luck to you.

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I couldnt have written it better and now FH is really going to be pissed cause you emailed his GM

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Posted by fitchc

the gm and his friends which used to be my fh's friends got angry when we stopped going out because we wanted to be alone and get serious so they started harrassing us via phone calls at 2am in the morning every sat night stating that fh is a wuss for being in a relationship the blow job thing was to aim to ruin us at a strip club but fh didnt go they asked him again two weeks later stating they will wait outside until he comes out if he said no to the strip club


i want him out of the party! otherwise i wont show

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wait, so you wouldn't show up to your own wedding because of a BM issue, which you both (??) decided on putting into your wedding???

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Posted by kbond06

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Posted by fitchc

the gm and his friends which used to be my fh's friends got angry when we stopped going out because we wanted to be alone and get serious so they started harrassing us via phone calls at 2am in the morning every sat night stating that fh is a wuss for being in a relationship the blow job thing was to aim to ruin us at a strip club but fh didnt go they asked him again two weeks later stating they will wait outside until he comes out if he said no to the strip club


i want him out of the party! otherwise i wont show

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wait, so you wouldn't show up to your own wedding because of a BM issue, which you both (??) decided on putting into your wedding???

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This whole thing is weird. fitchc posted this in the 08, 09, and BHB boards. She's not even an '09 bride!?!?!!?

I'll say what I said in the other thread - FH is a grown man capable of making his own decisions. If you don't like those decisions, and you can't trust the decisions he is going to make, then you need to re-examine why you are getting married.

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Posted by fitchc

We had an arguement because i wanted to throw one of the groomsmen out since he tried to jeapordize our relationship aug 16th with a strip joint...im not talking to my groom since he doesnt want to cancel him out..i sent an email this morning canceling that groomsman
so the wedding may be off...what do you think girls im so upset that my fh is choosing his idiotic friend over me, he did not call me back yesterday...can you believe this?
im sorry but i must put my foot down and this is what i think is best to do....he hates seeing my fh getting hitched and has always been disrespectful to fh i want him out!
fh doesnt know i emailed him this morning

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Ohh sorry to hear about this. First off, don't worry just yet- sometimes when things are still heated, words are exchanged that aren't meant to be said. What exactly happened? You say something about a strip joint- if the situation is forgive-able I would let it slide and just have this GM in the bridal party- especially if he is close to your FH. Although I think emailing him was not the best thing to do- just me though. Well, I hope everything works out for you guys!

***Edited for Typo***

I am very sorry to hear about your situation....

IMO i don't think it was the best move to e-mail him. You should have discussed it with FH first. I don't think that you should have taken it upon yourself to settle the situation.

Second, his friends sound immature. I can understand why you would be hurt and upset.

Third, even if you kick him out of the party, won't he still be at the wedding?! He is your Fh's friend. You can't stop him from being friends with someone. So what's having him in the party for a few hours of your life? I don't know if I would tell my Fh that he can't have one of his friends in the wedding.

I really hope everything works out. Keep us posted.