this bothers me....

Ilovebriani Posted: Feb 06, 2007 03:44 PM

this bothers me....

i feel like everytime FH says something that makes me upset....he says to me.....'i was joking!!!', when to me, it really dosnt sound like he is! this has been hapenening a lot lately, where he will say something that comes out really rude....and i will get angry with him, and then he will say ' i was only joking....jeez, can't you take a joke??'' i mean, once in a while, this is fine....he prob IS joking sometimes and i am just misunderstanding him. But other times i think he is really serious and when he realizes i get upset he tries to pass it off as a joke. I try to ask him if he could not 'joke' like that then....but it keeps happening. Instead, he tells me that i am over reacting and taking things too seriously. grrrr.....i dont know what to do. Am i so wrong for asking him not to say things a certain way if he knows it bothers me??

dream426 Posted: Feb 06, 2007 03:46 PM

Re: this bothers me....

I don't think you are wrong at all. If he says something a certain way and it obviously bothers you then he needs to redirect how he says certain things. He might not see it as a big deal. Guys think differently than girls.

Princess Cut Bride Posted: Feb 06, 2007 03:47 PM

Re: this bothers me....

You're not wrong at all. Communication is key in a relationship...I sound like Dr. Phil...but it's the truth. He has to understand it's okay to joke around sometimes but there are times when you are being serious and want a serious response back from him.

LuvMyAlfonse Posted: Feb 06, 2007 03:47 PM

Re: this bothers me....

OMG! My FH does the SAME thing. I think men are just bad with controlling their tone of voice. I wouldn't sweat it - you know he loves you!

Ilovebriani Posted: Feb 06, 2007 03:50 PM

Re: this bothers me....

yeah....i mean, it is partially me, i need to not over react sometimes, but its hard....b/c if he says something that really sounds rude my first thought is not usually that he might be joking. ya know?

dream426 Posted: Feb 06, 2007 03:53 PM

Re: this bothers me....

Thats how girls are. We overract. They need to get over it...lol Especially since we are planning a wedding. Don't mess with us..lol

KickinDandelions Posted: Feb 06, 2007 03:59 PM

Re: this bothers me....

I know this is the 'wrong' way to go about it..but when nothing else would work with FH (he used to do the same thing)..I started saying really rude stuff to him and he got REALLY offended and I would say..'Can't you take a joke?' and he got the point REAAALL FAST.

But yea...I'd try other suggestions first that are much nicer

LuvMyAlfonse Posted: Feb 06, 2007 04:16 PM

Re: this bothers me....

Posted by KickinDandelions

I know this is the 'wrong' way to go about it..but when nothing else would work with FH (he used to do the same thing)..I started saying really rude stuff to him and he got REALLY offended and I would say..'Can't you take a joke?' and he got the point REAAALL FAST.

Best piece of advice on this thread!

AMGBride2008 Posted: Feb 06, 2007 04:46 PM

Re: this bothers me....

It's their defense mechanism. Dumb right??? This is going to be your FH, never be afraid to tell him what bothers you and if it means telling him a million times, than so be it because I'm pretty sure he would get mad/upset if you did something that he repeatedly told you not to. Hang in there chickie!