this day...

is so dreary. i just want to be on my couch in sweats. being at my desk is SO awful right now.

anyone have any good jokes/stories to tell?

Wedding Vows
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: 'Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to love, honor, obey and be faithful to her forever, I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out.

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the grooms vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: 'Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?'

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, 'Yes', then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: 'I thought we had a deal!'

The pastor put a $100 bill into the grooms hand and whispered: 'She made me a better offer.'

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Posted by JennylovesStephen

Wedding Vows
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: 'Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to love, honor, obey and be faithful to her forever, I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out.

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the grooms vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: 'Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?'

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, 'Yes', then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: 'I thought we had a deal!'

The pastor put a $100 bill into the grooms hand and whispered: 'She made me a better offer.'

---

hahahahahahaha great!!!

Oh I'm so doing that! FH and I can get into a bidding war!

The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.

They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, 'After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy.'

Without a moments hesitation, the bride retorted, 'Well, I hope you'll love the third one just as if it's your own.'

One weekend four married guys went golfing. During the 4th hole, the following conversation took place.

First Guy: 'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.'

Second Guy: 'That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.'

Third Guy: 'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.'

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. 'You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?'

Fourth Guy: 'I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, 'Golf course or intercourse?' She said, 'Don't forget your sweater.''

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” She said, “Somewhere I have never been!” I told her, “How about the kitchen?”





This so goes for me hahahahahahhaha I dont know how to cook

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Posted by BrideAS

One weekend four married guys went golfing. During the 4th hole, the following conversation took place.

First Guy: 'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.'

Second Guy: 'That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.'

Third Guy: 'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.'

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. 'You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?'

Fourth Guy: 'I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, 'Golf course or intercourse?' She said, 'Don't forget your sweater.''

---

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Posted by JennylovesStephen

Wedding Vows
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: 'Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to love, honor, obey and be faithful to her forever, I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out.

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the grooms vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: 'Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?'

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, 'Yes', then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: 'I thought we had a deal!'

The pastor put a $100 bill into the grooms hand and whispered: 'She made me a better offer.'

---