This is kinda personal but I need helppppp

This might sound kind of weird and maybe even terrible to some people but ultimately my mom is not invited to the wedding. For various reasons throughout the past I don't even know how many years my mom has stopped talking to my brother, my father, my FH, and even me. Her being at the wedding would cause many problems and no one really wants her around and since my dad is paying for the reception, I can't really argue, not that I'm sure I would want to. At my sweet 16 she started an enormous fight with my dad in front of EVERYONE and would I want to have that happen again?? Def not. ALthough I know that her not being there I guess is the more 'peaceful' solution, I do feel somewhat guilty about it, even though I only speak to her on the phone maybe once every two months. I was trying to think of something I can carry with me or something that would be like having her with me...I don't have any jewelry or anything from her that would be suitable so I'm clueless as to what I can do because I also don't want it to seem like a memorial type thing. I just want to know for myself that I have her with me so to speak. Hope this makes sense. I would really appreciate any advice you girls could give me because it's pretty hard to ask my family or even FH.

Thanks!

hmmmm maybe get a additonal label for your dress...(that is if you are getting one for your dress in the first place) and maybe write 'Mom- always in my heart'

that way its attached to your dress insdie and no body will see it and u will be the only one that knows its there?

First, let me say thank you for sharing this with us! It must be such a difficult situation to discuss and to open up about.. I cannot even imagine what you must be going thru

I think that for me to give you advice, when I knwo nothing about what this must be like, would be wrong. So I will just say this... follow your heart and think about what YOU want. Good news is taht you do not need to decide RIGHT now... give it time and maybe something will give...

Good lukc and please do not think that you are terrible for posting this... beleive me we ALL have situations that are tough that we are going thru- all though some will judge, I am not one of them and please feel free to continue venting and/or asking for advice ...

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Posted by Summertimegal424

hmmmm maybe get a additonal label for your dress...(that is if you are getting one for your dress in the first place) and maybe write 'Mom- always in my heart'

that way its attached to your dress insdie and no body will see it and u will be the only one that knows its there?

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THat's definately a good idea...thanks soo much!!

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Posted by Utterhappiness

First, let me say thank you for sharing this with us! It must be such a difficult situation to discuss and to open up about.. I cannot even imagine what you must be going thru

I think that for me to give you advice, when I knwo nothing about what this must be like, would be wrong. So I will just say this... follow your heart and think about what YOU want. Good news is taht you do not need to decide RIGHT now... give it time and maybe something will give...

Good lukc and please do not think that you are terrible for posting this... beleive me we ALL have situations that are tough that we are going thru- all though some will judge, I am not one of them and please feel free to continue venting and/or asking for advice ...

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Thank you soo much you're so sweet. You're totally right, maytbe something will give .. hopefully just a little bit or maybe I can just toughen up and try to harder to cope because she has even told me in the past that she wouldn't go anyway, which kinda makes it easier sometimes because I tell myself she doesn't care enough to wanna be there so why should I go crazy.

Seriously thanks for being so understanding...I really appreciate it!

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Posted by egem523

Please do not feel wrong for posting this. Sometimes unfortunately we have these family problems. I know I do with various members of my family. Maybe you can do a bouquet charm.

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I agree and was thinking the bouquet charm also.

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I have a very similar situation with my father.

Honestly I dont think you need anything to remind you of her.... you are her daughter.... know what I mean?

But if you really want something... maybe she has her wedding dress still and you can cut a small piece of the under layer and pin it into yours?

i think that you will feel as though your Mum (I'm British) is with you on your special day regardless of what you wear.
She is in your heart and mind. Thats enough. The fact that you've shared this personal situation shows you care about her and that she's in your thoughts a lot.
Enjoy your day

Do you have a pic of her. You can always put that in a locket and you can carry that.

I feel where you are coming from. My mom is not invited to my wedding either for various reasons.

when I was reading your OP I immediately thought of the bouquet charm. It's a tough situation and I am sorry you have to go through it. My parents got divorced when I was 15 and my father moved to Texas then. I have seen him once since then it wasn't even for long. I have hard feelings towards my dad b/c of the bad childhood he put me through. And not to make you feel bad, I am inviting him anyway. But My situation is not like yours. While my family doesn't particularly care for him, we would be able to tolerate him for that day. But he isn't giving me away or anything, actually, like your mom, he told me he probably wouldn't be able to make it. So I am kind of off the hook.
I hope everything works out for you and that you are able to enjoy your day, stress free and fight free. I also agree that even if you have nothing of hers to wear that day, she will be in your heart.

Don't feel bad for posting this- we are here for you! I like the label idea- I think that is a nice way to include your Mom on your day. You need to do what you think it's right. It's YOUR day and if you think your Mom shouldn't be invited, then so be it.