I can't seem to get this out of my head tho...I want my girls to get there hair and makeup done. However, I am not offering to pay for it....is that wrong??? I thought when you say yes to being a bridesmaid you know it comes with a price tag! I was in a friends and with everything it ended costing me $2,000! The only things I am expecting my bridesmaid to do is buy the dress (i hope!) and get their hair and make-up done for the wedding. That should be under $500. No bridal shower no engagement gift, bacholorette party etc...The reasoning why I want it is because of pictures. Well my mother called me a bridezilla!!!! So I have to ask am I???? She said who cares if they don't get there hair and make-up done it will make you stand out more anyways if they don't. Really?!?
pauladanielle
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Re: This is silly....
Posted by LilinBobby
They are getting their hair done at my house. The cost for the bridesmaids hair was $60 each so what I am doing is paying $35 of it for each girl. I have 10 girls so thats $350 and each girl pays $25. They loved the deal! $25 is nothing compared to what they would pay in the salon. And we get to watch tv and eat and drink at my house so it works out great. Makeup they can do themselves or have my makeup girl do it. Whatever they want but I did wantt hem all to get their hair done. If you only have 3 girls then maybe this is an option. It can be like part of the bridesmaid gift.
Wow that is a fantastic deal! I would love it if you could FM me with your hair-dresser's info (if of course she does weddings normally)
But anyway, my two cents is that it is okay to ask your bridesmaids to get their hair and makeup done, but with the understanding that some of them might not be able to afford it. If a friend was telling me I had to spend another $200 and I didn't have it, I would hope that she would understand if I did my own or helped me out with the cost.
chrissie0121
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Re: This is silly....
I am not offering to pay for their hair or make up, but I do want them to get it done. I also thought saying yes to being a BM this is all part of it as well. I don't think by you wanting this done for the girls you are a bridezilla at all. Remember these are your pictures that you have to look at for the rest of your life!!
fdnybride163
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Re: This is silly....
I want them to get it done, more as a pamper... i mean what girl wouldnt want a professional hair and makeup stylist for the day...
that being said i agree with you on the part about accepting being a bridesmaid comes with a pricetag. and since my parents are paying for BOTH of my bridal showers, the only thing they have to worry about is dress and bach party expenses...
I think its fine, just dont go nuts. I paid $125 for hair/MU/tip for FBILs wedding
halfbaked
Posted:
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Re: This is silly....
Honestly, I think it's kinda wrong. I don't automatically assume I'm going to be asked to have my hair and make up done by being a bridesmaid. Have I? Always, but that's because I wanted to, not because someone else told me I had to.
Only one of my BMs had her make-up done and 1 of them didn't even have her hair done! They all looked spectacular. I didn't choose them because they'd look good in photos, I chose them because I wanted them up there with me, KWIM?
Just my two cents!
ETA: And I know it's hard when you're in the thick of planning to look at the bigger picture and life outside the wedding, but I guarantee after the wedding is done and you're married, who did or did not get their make-up/hair done is going to be the LAST thing to concern you. I've been married almost two years and all of the wedding details that I felt were SO important and so necessary were really not that serious in the grand scheme of things.
pauladanielle
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Member since
Re: This is silly....
Posted by jilliibabii
Honestly, I think it's kinda wrong. I don't automatically assume I'm going to be asked to have my hair and make up done by being a bridesmaid. Have I? Always, but that's because I wanted to, not because someone else told me I had to.
Only one of my BMs had her make-up done and 1 of them didn't even have her hair done! They all looked spectacular. I didn't choose them because they'd look good in photos, I chose them because I wanted them up there with me, KWIM?
Just my two cents!
ETA: And I know it's hard when you're in the thick of planning to look at the bigger picture and life outside the wedding, but I guarantee after the wedding is done and you're married, who did or did not get their make-up/hair done is going to be the LAST thing to concern you. I've been married almost two years and all of the wedding details that I felt were SO important and so necessary were really not that serious in the grand scheme of things.
Kristin31613
Posted:
Member since
Re: This is silly....
Posted by jilliibabii
Honestly, I think it's kinda wrong. I don't automatically assume I'm going to be asked to have my hair and make up done by being a bridesmaid. Have I? Always, but that's because I wanted to, not because someone else told me I had to.
Only one of my BMs had her make-up done and 1 of them didn't even have her hair done! They all looked spectacular. I didn't choose them because they'd look good in photos, I chose them because I wanted them up there with me, KWIM?
Just my two cents!
ETA: And I know it's hard when you're in the thick of planning to look at the bigger picture and life outside the wedding, but I guarantee after the wedding is done and you're married, who did or did not get their make-up/hair done is going to be the LAST thing to concern you. I've been married almost two years and all of the wedding details that I felt were SO important and so necessary were really not that serious in the grand scheme of things.
THIS! I think you said it perfectly! I want my girls bc I have known them forever and such good friends with them. Not bc they will pay to get their makeup done. IDK, some of my friends have tight financial obligations so when I look at their big picture it is easier for me to compromise my big picture. I think it is more important for them to accompany me on my special day no matter how they look. If they choose to, and I know some will, that's great but if not, I know they will all put in thier best efforts to look as great as possible.
Bride2012
Posted:
Member since
Re: This is silly....
Posted by LilinBobby
They are getting their hair done at my house. The cost for the bridesmaids hair was $60 each so what I am doing is paying $35 of it for each girl. I have 10 girls so thats $350 and each girl pays $25. They loved the deal! $25 is nothing compared to what they would pay in the salon. And we get to watch tv and eat and drink at my house so it works out great. Makeup they can do themselves or have my makeup girl do it. Whatever they want but I did wantt hem all to get their hair done. If you only have 3 girls then maybe this is an option. It can be like part of the bridesmaid gift.
Thats a great deal!!! I guess because you have so many girls its only $60. I get quoted 80 to 125 so far. I'm not sure whats more important to me hair or make-up?
Bride2012
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Member since
Re: This is silly....
Posted by fdnybride163
I want them to get it done, more as a pamper... i mean what girl wouldnt want a professional hair and makeup stylist for the day...
that being said i agree with you on the part about accepting being a bridesmaid comes with a pricetag. and since my parents are paying for BOTH of my bridal showers, the only thing they have to worry about is dress and bach party expenses...
I think its fine, just dont go nuts. I paid $125 for hair/MU/tip for FBILs wedding
I was in my friends wedding which at the time I tried to decline I was in school and working per diem but she kind of didn't take no for an answer. So I spent almost $2k total on her wedding. But I didn't complain. I did what I had to do. I loved getting my hair and make-up done. I felt like a princess. I'm trying to find reasonable priced hair and makeup people.
Bride2012
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Member since
Re: This is silly....
Posted by Kristin31613
Posted by jilliibabii
Honestly, I think it's kinda wrong. I don't automatically assume I'm going to be asked to have my hair and make up done by being a bridesmaid. Have I? Always, but that's because I wanted to, not because someone else told me I had to.
Only one of my BMs had her make-up done and 1 of them didn't even have her hair done! They all looked spectacular. I didn't choose them because they'd look good in photos, I chose them because I wanted them up there with me, KWIM?
Just my two cents!
ETA: And I know it's hard when you're in the thick of planning to look at the bigger picture and life outside the wedding, but I guarantee after the wedding is done and you're married, who did or did not get their make-up/hair done is going to be the LAST thing to concern you. I've been married almost two years and all of the wedding details that I felt were SO important and so necessary were really not that serious in the grand scheme of things.
THIS! I think you said it perfectly! I want my girls bc I have known them forever and such good friends with them. Not bc they will pay to get their makeup done. IDK, some of my friends have tight financial obligations so when I look at their big picture it is easier for me to compromise my big picture. I think it is more important for them to accompany me on my special day no matter how they look. If they choose to, and I know some will, that's great but if not, I know they will all put in thier best efforts to look as great as possible.
I agree with you. I guess maybe because I am just having sisters no friends in my bridal party. I asked them to be in the wedding because as I see it I am gaining them as sisters and I know it means a lot to fh and fmil. I am not close to either of them. Two live far away so its kind of hard. The one who lives here we are just in two different places. She looks forward to getting drunk all the time and buying brand name stuff for herself. I look forward to working, paying my mortage, and trying to get 8 hours of sleep. Different people different lives. Maybe I'm more hurt because she has money and time for these things but can't pay for stuff for my wedding??
pinkbunny
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Member since
Re: This is silly....
Not forcing them to get their makeup done, but I would prefer if they got their hair done professionally. They can chose to use the hairstylist coming to my house or go to a salon. For 4/5 of the girls in my BP I was in their wedding where I got hair and makeup done, so I figured they would do the same for me.
teacherteacher
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Re: This is silly....
Posted by Bride2012
She looks forward to getting drunk all the time and buying brand name stuff for herself. I look forward to working, paying my mortage, and trying to get 8 hours of sleep. Different people different lives. Maybe I'm more hurt because she has money and time for these things but can't pay for stuff for my wedding??
I think you hit the nail on the head exactly. It's hard to accept that people who have a ton of money don't know how to manage it and just use it as an excuse. I actually decided on hair/makeup people who didn't need minimums because I knew I would have this kind of issue - even though my 3 BMs are all high-end buyers with nearly $100k a year. And, after my trials, I was right - only one girl wants her hair done and 2 MIGHT get their makeup done. Just focus on how great you'll look and how amazing it will feel to be married - let them be negative and people will see their actions for what they are.
Bride2012
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Member since
Re: This is silly....
Posted by teacherteacher
Posted by Bride2012
She looks forward to getting drunk all the time and buying brand name stuff for herself. I look forward to working, paying my mortage, and trying to get 8 hours of sleep. Different people different lives. Maybe I'm more hurt because she has money and time for these things but can't pay for stuff for my wedding??
I think you hit the nail on the head exactly. It's hard to accept that people who have a ton of money don't know how to manage it and just use it as an excuse. I actually decided on hair/makeup people who didn't need minimums because I knew I would have this kind of issue - even though my 3 BMs are all high-end buyers with nearly $100k a year. And, after my trials, I was right - only one girl wants her hair done and 2 MIGHT get their makeup done. Just focus on how great you'll look and how amazing it will feel to be married - let them be negative and people will see their actions for what they are.
LOL WOW!!! You are a smart girl!!! I'm going to let it go and like you said worry about looking great and getting married!!
Bride2Be78
Posted:
Member since
Re: This is silly....
Posted by jilliibabii
Honestly, I think it's kinda wrong. I don't automatically assume I'm going to be asked to have my hair and make up done by being a bridesmaid. Have I? Always, but that's because I wanted to, not because someone else told me I had to.
Only one of my BMs had her make-up done and 1 of them didn't even have her hair done! They all looked spectacular. I didn't choose them because they'd look good in photos, I chose them because I wanted them up there with me, KWIM?
Just my two cents!
ETA: And I know it's hard when you're in the thick of planning to look at the bigger picture and life outside the wedding, but I guarantee after the wedding is done and you're married, who did or did not get their make-up/hair done is going to be the LAST thing to concern you. I've been married almost two years and all of the wedding details that I felt were SO important and so necessary were really not that serious in the grand scheme of things.
KristyANDMatt224
Posted:
Member since
Re: This is silly....
IMO I did assume that whenever I accept bridesmaid role, that means hair/make up to be done. I haven't discussed it with my girls and whatever they want to do will be fine, but without really thinking about it, I figured that was an automatic. However, if you are told exactly HOW to wear your hair/make up/nails or told WHO to have it done by, then I'd expect the bride to pay for at least a portion of it...
Bride2012
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Re: This is silly....
I'm not that particular
kitt6katt
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Re: This is silly....
Posted by pixietina
Whenever my girls go out they can do their hair and make up well enough. I told them do what they want.
This!! I have been in weddings where they did a horrible job on my hair or makeup, and so have my friends. It's completely up to them, and they will all look gorgeous either way!!!
futuremrsznyc
Posted:
Member since
This is silly....
Okay, I don't think you're a bridezilla (esp since you aren't doing shower, bachlorette, etc). Technically (like Emily Postwise), if you require them to have it done, you have to pay. I think the ettiquette rules are they pay for dress, shoes, shower, transportation, lodging at wedding (I might be wrong on lodging...maybe because I'm making girls pay for their own hotel?), but they aren't tech required to pay for anything else. That said, since they are family...eh you can make them do whatever you want :). Also, since they didn't pay for the shower, I think you have some leeway.
Karin
Posted:
Member since
This is silly....
I want them to have it done, but I am going to pay for the make up. Hair, I know they can do their own. Mostly, I just think it will be fun to get ready together. Its an expense, but its one I am willing to take on. If our circumstances were different and our budget were stricter, I think I would try to find someone really reasonable and then ask them to pay..very nicely of course!
scottsbride
Posted:
Member since
This is silly....
I would never ask them to get their hair or make up done. I choose my girls because of who they are not because of what they look like. I did ask them if they usually like to get their makeup done and they all said yes so I am paying for them to get their makeup done at my house as part of their gift.
