this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

DonnaPWhite1124 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 03:38 PM

this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

Someone told me to write down how much people give you at your wedding, so when they, in turn get married or have an event, you can sort of match it (for lack of better words).

Im not sure I want to do this because 1) we are in a horrible economic condition right now and I dont expect a gigantic gift from everyone and 2) I didnt plan a wedding to make money. I truly just want to have an enjoyable day...

Just out of curiosity, were any of you told to do this by others?

VickiR510 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 03:43 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

I know alot of people who do that. BUT its NOT about making money. Its to know in the end how you stand. What you actually ended up paying out of pocket. If you do happen to do this then yes it is also a good range in the future for you to have an idea when its their turn. But honestly with that i just give what i want to give. But some people find it helpful to remember what others did for you.

lauraandrob2009 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 03:44 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

I will say that I am older now (late 30s) and the last of my friends to get married but I kind of wish I had written down what I had given others all along. Just to have an idea. As for you, if a lot of your friends are single still, it's not a bad idea - it would be a good guide for you to have an idea what to give going forward for their weddings. Obviously different times will allow people to give different amounts but doesn't hurt to make sure it's in the same ballpark. No one needs to know your doing this. So why not right?

kogan09 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 03:45 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

It was suggested by some family members that we do this but that is just not us. Like you said, we are not having a wedding in order to make money. Whatever people is fine with us and will have no effect on how much money we, in turn, will bring to other people's future events.

I am not saying that this is wrong because I am sure that there are other people on LIW who have done it or are going to do it. I am just saying that it is not us and will not make the day any more enjoyable.

JJC Posted: Nov 11, 2008 03:46 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

I was never told this but my mom wrote it in her wedding planning book...its funny to look back and see what people gave her...like $50 was alot back then! wowzer...lol
I was going to write the amounts down in the cards as i opened them just to keep track...I guess it makes sense because i wouldnt want to give someone LESS than what they gave me unless of course they were super rich.
i agree with you that its not about the money. This wedding is just a celebration...i just want it to be more FOR our guests...for them to enjoy our special day and be there for us as we take this next step...

BarbieGrl10 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 03:47 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

I think almost everyone does this...people I know anyway. So I'm going to do it.
Mostly it will be for my mom and FIL to see b/c I know they will ask us how much people gave.

VickiR510 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 03:55 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

Posted by BarbieGrl10

I think almost everyone does this...people I know anyway. So I'm going to do it.
Mostly it will be for my mom and FIL to see b/c I know they will ask us how much people gave.

plus a good track to know how much came out of your pocket. Period. Everyone wants to know how much they actually ended up spending on their wedding. or who ever is paying for it. Like i said i dont think for everyone who does this its about the money give & receive thing.

littlepixie12 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 03:55 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

Yes I was told this as well... apparently FFIL and his wife have been to lots of weddings and they told us to write it down because they expect the poeple that they invite to give at least the same amount that they give (out of respect) ... so we will see.. i dont even know these people so we will see

debzy Posted: Nov 11, 2008 04:07 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

Everyone I know does this.

meara Posted: Nov 11, 2008 04:49 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

This is just strange to me b/c I am just so happy some people are coming to the wedding I would not even care if they gave anything - I have some friends who the trip itself would be a financial burden so that they would come is a gift. . now if there are folks who HAVE money and don't give anything I think that I would care more but I guess I am a little socialist here that if I have broke friends who only give a little - I would still give them more b/c I had it and they needed it. .

MaggieLuvsJoe Posted: Nov 11, 2008 04:54 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

Posted by debzy

Everyone I know does this.

Yup...same here

LeeAnne Posted: Nov 11, 2008 05:00 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

my parents do this so they know what to give others after they have given to us. my dad asked me for a list after my E-party.

geegee827 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 05:02 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

I've been told this by lots of people.

However, FH and I are the last ones to get married so we won't have any use for it!

little34 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 05:45 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

I know that people usually do this so they have an idea as to what to give when the time comes....you can do what you want. I don't think anyone gets married to make money but it is nice to have an idea how much to give to someone because I know I always worry if I am giving too little or too much so it can serve as a guide for you

coldasice217 Posted: Nov 11, 2008 08:04 PM

Re: this may be a little bit presumptuous of me....but...

I'm going to have a spreadsheet down to the penny lol. More for thank you cards, but also to kind of know where we 'stand' with others, who will be getting dinner party invitations, etc.