This really STINKS!!! (a bit long)
Okay, so, I have 2 sisters. I have been MOH at both of their weddings. One lives upstate and the other in Colorado. The younger (the one in CO) got married 2 years ago, in Las Vegas. My parents paid for me and my 2 children (at the time) to go with them to Vegas so I could be there for her on her special day.
Fast forward to yesterday. I am reading my younger sister's blog on myspace and in it she rants and raves about how she's been having nightmares and it would be too traumatic for her to come to my wedding. At the end of the post she put: 'Sorry, Melyssa, I don't think I will be coming to your wedding.'
I calmly reply that I think it stinks b/c I have been there for her on her important days and she can't do the same for me. She writes back:
'I personally resent the fact that you said you've been there for me in important events! I haven't had any. That's just a fact. I lead a boring life - by choice. Did you not read my concerns? I just think you're being incredibly selfish by asking me to disrupt my cozy disillutioned existence. You're starting to sound too much like mom with all this guilt tripping! ' (She and my mother have recently become estranged)
To which I then responded:
First of all, what you view to be important events and what others view to be important events may or may not be the same. Secondly, your 'concerns' sounded more to me like excuses. Thirdly, I am disappointed that you feel I am being selfish for asking you to be a part of a special day. Would I have been selfish for saying no when you asked me to be at your wedding? And finally, I speak to you like you speak to everyone else and I sound like mom? Get a Grip!
Then she posts another blog insulting everyone in the family and claiming that she had been sexually abused by my other sister's ex-husband, and noone ever did anything to protect her! This is the FIRST I've heard of any of this!!
My question is, am I being selfish? Was I over-reacting and out of line in what I said? It hurts me to think that I was the last person in the family she was still talking too and now it looks like I blew that too....
Fast forward to yesterday. I am reading my younger sister's blog on myspace and in it she rants and raves about how she's been having nightmares and it would be too traumatic for her to come to my wedding. At the end of the post she put: 'Sorry, Melyssa, I don't think I will be coming to your wedding.'
I calmly reply that I think it stinks b/c I have been there for her on her important days and she can't do the same for me. She writes back:
'I personally resent the fact that you said you've been there for me in important events! I haven't had any. That's just a fact. I lead a boring life - by choice. Did you not read my concerns? I just think you're being incredibly selfish by asking me to disrupt my cozy disillutioned existence. You're starting to sound too much like mom with all this guilt tripping! ' (She and my mother have recently become estranged)
To which I then responded:
First of all, what you view to be important events and what others view to be important events may or may not be the same. Secondly, your 'concerns' sounded more to me like excuses. Thirdly, I am disappointed that you feel I am being selfish for asking you to be a part of a special day. Would I have been selfish for saying no when you asked me to be at your wedding? And finally, I speak to you like you speak to everyone else and I sound like mom? Get a Grip!
Then she posts another blog insulting everyone in the family and claiming that she had been sexually abused by my other sister's ex-husband, and noone ever did anything to protect her! This is the FIRST I've heard of any of this!!
My question is, am I being selfish? Was I over-reacting and out of line in what I said? It hurts me to think that I was the last person in the family she was still talking too and now it looks like I blew that too....
