THOSE Friends

Anyone have one (or more) of THOSE friends? The kind that try to come off like the 'voice of reason' but you can't shake the feeling that they really are just... not thinking of YOU?

My girlfriend is starting to make me insane.

When I first got pregnant with my older son, she went on a tear about how foolish I was, how irresponsible and how having a baby so quickly in a relationship is sure to doom us...
When we got pregnant a 2nd time she said 'Don't you know anything about birth control?'
When I told her I was buying a house and told her that I wanted to live in Sayville, West Sayville or Blue Point/Bayport - she told me 'You are CRAZY! You should not even bother. The houses are way too much for even a fixer upper! You need to learn to be reasonable. I wanted areas like that too... but it just won't pan out...' After I found the house that I love, at a reasonable price, in the area of my choice she said 'Well I guess you lucked out. It must need a ton of work though!' *sigh*
When I told her I was getting married, she immediately started with her 'ideas'. 'Don't do a hall, get married at Town Hall, blah blah blah'
When I told her I picked Willow Creek she said 'I have not heard anything good about that place'. SHE ONLY ADMITTED THAT SHE HAD NOT HEARD ANYTHING BAD EITHER WHEN PRESSED!
I told her about getting a dog and she told me I was crazy and that I can't take care of it.
When she got her save the date magnet she called to tell me that it was cute, but a HUGE waste of money.

I can't even tell you... I hate talking to her. It is totally negative nelly.

And the thing that really bugs me? I have NEVER NEVER NEVER complained once about money to her. I have no debt outside of my 30 year mortgage. I make a decent salary. FH makes a good living... I just don't know WHY she keeps insisting that I must learn to save money!

I don't know why it is bothering me more than ever right now. But it is.

Thanks for letting me vent.

You need to let go of negative friends like that. They only bring you down. Positive people are the only ones u should surround yourself with! :)
She is probably just a jealous person!

Oh I totally understand. My advice try not to talk to her so much. Especially now when you are supposed to be happy with your wedding planning, your house, your children and your FH. It is not worth being criticized or talking to someone who is constantly negative.

o boy do I have friends like that!

Its really annoying; I usually don't even respond and ignore them...

i can't stand people like that. its like they're not happy unless everyone around them is miserable. Congrats on all ur accomplishments!!!! u sound like u got ur stuff together!!

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Posted by tricia3381

i can't stand people like that. its like they're not happy unless everyone around them is miserable. Congrats on all ur accomplishments!!!! u sound like u got ur stuff together!!

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ditto.

take a deep breath, take a look around at your life. you seem to know what you're doing. maybe, you've done stuff in a different order than some people would like you to... but who cares. you have your sh!* together.

sorry that there are people like that in your life.

how do you keep her in your life? I'm exhausted just reading what you wrote!!!!!

I swear... I don't know what I would do if not for my positive friends! It makes all the difference in the WORLD to know you can call someone up and feel BETTER... not WORSE! Let her GO! Or say something and see if she SHUTS UP with her negativity! I'm sure she does it to everyone she knows... maybe if you say something, you'll be doing everyone she knows a favor! (although it may risk your friendship with her... which I don't think seems like too much of a risk for you!)

I have gotten rid of those negative friends. We are surrounded by positive people. If someone can't be supportive-what kind of friend are they really?

There are lots of people out there like that (too many)! These 'friends' are simply jealous. She is obviously jealous of your growth and afraid that you'll progress to a point where she won't have as much as you do. People like this always want one up on those close to them and will even become negative and try to hold you back so that you'll stay behind!

In my opinion, it's a subconcious thing and she doesn't even realize how 'intentional' her negativity seems. She has issues and needs to get through them. Don't let her get to you though, as you are obviously doing the right thing with your life! Look at those beautiful kids! How dare anyone tell you that they will 'doom' you! They are a big responsibility but bring much joy to your life... and I hope she sees that. Next time, don't just listen to her bash you... let her know that she's wrong and end it there.

Good luck... and be proud of yourself

just tell her that - 'you do know i'm not having money problems right now, right? i'm doing fine, so while i appreciate it, you really don't need to worry about me.'

she's probably doing it for two reasons:

1 - she cares about you, and

2 - she's frustrated things haven't worked out the same for her (ie she wanted a house in the same area, but couldn't get it).

you have a family, you're getting married, you own a house - she's probably a little jealous. not that it makes it any easier to listen to her, but i doubt she's doing it to be mean - it's just from insecurity.

people like that can be emotionally tiring though. i'd just let her know that while you appreciate her worry, you don't need it. or distance yourself from her for a while and give yourself a break.