We had a list of well over 200 people, and that was really cutting corners (big family). Now we want to keep it at 100-125, so we have to cut a lot more. What did you do to keep the list down. What were some of your boundaries and qualifications on who would be invited and who would not? Did you say no kids? first cousins only? Only people you'ver seen in the last 2 years? Share your list cutting ideas?
N.Y.bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
I invited only first cousins and no children. I also only invited those 19 and over with dates if they had a girlfriend/boyfriend.
Things worked out great and I ended up with about 125 from 200.
Mrs. dleeny
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
we invited 70. we cut A LOT of people. first rule, no kids. the only 2 kids that will be there are his neice and my cousin and they're 11 & 13. that alone saved about 20-30 people.
we mostly kept it to immediate family and close friends.
evnme
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
no one under 21 is invited- that includes most of my 2nd cousins. if parents and grandparents want people we werent planning on inviting- they are paying for them. i'm not inviting my classmates or anyone from work. we're sticking to family and our closest friends.
SomethingBlu
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
Similar to NYBride, I invited only first cousins. I also only invited those in serious relationships or over 30 with dates if they had a girlfriend/boyfriend. Otherwise, all singles.
We did the same thing. We invited 145 and had 103 as the final count...but it helped greatly that my family is 100% out of town.
marymoon
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
It's hard to make those rules. If I said 'first cousins only' I'd be cutting our my 2nd and 3rd cousins who are closer and my list would actually be longer, because I have about 2 dozen first cousins, not counting spouses. But then I don't want rto invite my 1st cousins but I ahve 2nd and 3rd that I just have to invite but I don't want Fh inviting all his 2nd and 3rd cosuins who he never ever sees. I'm also really going to be strong on this rule 'If I haven;t met them, theya re NOT invited'. FH and I have been together for more than 6 years....if I haven't met someone, they're obviously not important enough to be invited. Why is it that I'm the one with the big family and FH's family is the one that is hard to cut>?
seta
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
did u ever think of having the same amount of people at a less expensive place, or in the afternoon?
marymoon
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
I'd rather cut the list too. If I stay at my hall moving to the afternoon only saves $10 pp, but the minimum drops by 30. It's not that good a deal. I'd rather cut the list way way down, that saves on flowers, favors, invites, the whole 9. I'd rather put the money toward a ncier wedding rather than more people. Maybe that's wrong..but I'm one of those people who feels liek if you have one true friend inlife, you're lucky and I don't care that much about who I offend.
Jan05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
Immediate Family Aunts & Uncles 1st Cousins Extremely close friends
no children no co-workers no one you haven't seen in over a year no acquaintances no one under 15
CC59
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
If you don't care who you offend then only invite who you want! If you don't ever see some of your first cousins don't invite them! Try to stick to the people that you talk to often or the family members that have been there for you in the past that you want to be with you on your special day. We're having planning on having about 120-130 people and eventhough its hard to cut, you have to draw the line somewhere.
BKtoLI
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
I had to cut a lot of people I would want there, but really these are people I only talk to occasionally. They know I'm engaged, but haven't even asked about the wedding.
We basically told people only closest friends and family. This means no co-workers, no aquaintances, friends of the family that we are not close to, etc.
We are allowing kids, but that's mainly because both of our immediate families are small (under 20 people including cousins for me, and the same for FH) and some people might have a hard time getting babysitters.
tourist
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
We invited abotu 100 peopel & had 85.
I also did nobody we haven't met before.
So, no parents' coworkers & stuff like that. I had to give in a little on this one, to keep the peace.
No parents cousins, only coworkers you would see outside of work.
If you are havign trouble with the cousins, keep it to people that you see for holidays.Some people say no kids, but I have a 1st cousin who was 12 at the time , who I am close to & spend holidays with, so it wold be crazy & rude to not invite him, especially sicnehis sister was a BM. So, you do have to make sure your rules fit your situation.
We invited 'and guests' but there were only a few single people.
ETA--I agree that cutting the list is a good idea. We kept it small, just b/c we are kinda anti-social, but it did help keep down the cost of centerpieces, invitations, etc. It also allowed us to spend more time with our guests at the wedding.
edsprincess
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
that what i wanted! it ended up being about 65 people. there really isn't many children to begin with. the youngest is 12 or so except the ring bearer who is fh god son hes 4. i got to invite all my aunts and uncles. and on his side since that side doesnt talk much his mother chooses to invite her cousins, and relatives.
PrincessConsuela
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
yes we have first cousins only, aunts, uncles that we still talk to. friends and co-workers.
thank goodness my fh family consists of 6 people. so all of the family part is mine yikes!!!!! and alot of our friends and co-workers are invited. right now we are at 146 on the invite list. i hope to have 125.
stephanief
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
Well I thought I was gonna have a 'small' wedding (around 75 people) but when me and FH sat down to make our list, we are inviting 145
hocus
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
Looking back over the list (which was 245) here is who we would have cut:
all 'and guests'. If the person was in a serious relationship and I knew (or at least knew of) their girlfriend/boyfriend fine -- otherwise only you are invited. Most people who are single are coming alone, but two people are bringing dates that I know they aren't serious about.
Any family that I didn't know or had never met-- that would have been almost 25 people. There was a rather large list of family that my mother or my grandmother wanted to invite (none of them are coming, but we planned it as if there were, which kind of *****.)
Most of my co-workers. I've only been here a year, so it wouldn't have been a big deal to cut them.
'Old' friends, who I or my FI rarely see. College roommates, high school buddies and so forth. I sent an invite to my sophomore year roommate, who I have not seen in a long time. She and her husband are come. Which is great -- shocking in a way though. I would have expected her to say no.
I strongly suggest a B list, we had a lot more no's than expected, and there were about 10 people I would have loved to have added, but could not because we didn't plan on a B list. Had I planned this better I would have had an earlier response date and a second set of RSVP cards.
M&S Sept12006
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
Immediate family only-parents, grandparents, siblings and their significant others and their kids (all teenagers though), closest friends and their significant others...FH's godfather has 3 kids (teenagers also) so in order to keep peace we invited them as well, but thats bc there arent a lot of kids in our families...but if there were I would do 100% no kids!
ETA: First counsins only!
nferrandi
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
I didn't have a small wedding, but my BIL did. He only invited immediate family. There were no parents friends, no coworkers and no 'and dates' unless people were in a serious relationship.
kaklesmay
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
I did no kids (that cut out 45 ppl) and we are not doing '& guest'.
Pmpkn087
Posted:
Member since
Re: Those of you trying to have a 'small wedding'....
You should only invite who you are willing to pay for. I invited first cousins only, very close friends and that's it. and I have about 120 on the list, hopefully about 100 attending.
