Those of you who moved into your DH's or FI's place...

How much did you change things around once you got there??

How much of a 'woman's' touch did you bring to the place?

What things did your DH/FI have around that you 'got rid of' once you settled in?

And how did he react to you having an influence over his 'turf' ???

Just curious. I'm moving in with my hubby soon (FINALLY!!!!!), and just wanted to know what to expect.

Thanks!!

My husband actually refused to make some of the decisions on some of our decorating ideas otherwise I would have just went along with whatever he picked. So it forced me into picking what I liked.
He actually likes when I take the initiative and add something new on my own.

How much did you change things around once you got there??

I really didnt change around a lot. I took over the closet, moved some stuff in some of the drawers, added a pretty vase wtih fresh flowers, some candles and pictures

How much of a 'woman's' touch did you bring to the place?

I added little things like candles, pictures, and some throw pillows

What things did your DH/FI have around that you 'got rid of' once you settled in?

I really didnt get rid of much. Mostly just old clothes

And how did he react to you having an influence over his 'turf' ???

He really didnt have a bad reaction. he thought the little touches looked good and made it look like our place and not just his.

My DH's house looks more like a dorm room or frat house than a home. So it really needs a woman's touch in a BIG way. I'm just not sure how to go about it.

I don't want to live in Animal House, but I also don't want to move in and 'take over.'

I didn't change a lot since we were only going to live here for a few months (meanwhile, it's been 2.5 years now) but I did go through and throw out a bunch of stuff his last girlfriend had given him like candles and knick knacks but he really didn't care. It just really bothered me seeing it all the time, but I have low self esteem to be honest. I replaced it all with stuff I like.

We picked out a new comforter set together when I first moved in. We are now picking out all the furniture, decor, etc. for our new house together.

How much did you change things around once you got there??

I didn't change anything. I happened to like it the way he had it. I just cleaned a little...or a lot.


How much of a 'woman's' touch did you bring to the place?

I was fortunate. My guy was well trained from his first marriage. He had quite the bachelor pad. All my girlfriends loved it! I actually miss our old apartment! That place had character.


What things did your DH/FI have around that you 'got rid of' once you settled in?

I didn't get rid of anything. He moved some items out of the apartment into the shed to make more room, but I never disposed of anything that wasn't mine.


And how did he react to you having an influence over his 'turf' ???

He had to encourage me to move in, I was hesitant, so obviously he didn't mind the 'merge'. To be honest, I didn't change anything. I really liked everything he had. And even now that we have a house, we decorate this place together. I trust his taste.




Good luck with the move in!!!!!

I didn't really add a 'female' touch. Unless you count adding my mangolian short sword and framed dragon art?

I added my body pillow. Took over half the closet and half the drawers.

We just sorta 'blend'.

But his room is DEFINATELY more cluttered with me here. I have this thing. House, clean to the point of obession. My bedroom, clutter like a hail storm. I figure no one comes in the room but me and him anyhow.

Well he moved in with me & HE didn't do anything. Nothing has been added just his clothes, shoes & bathroom toiletries.

In ex's apt. in city, he was a neat-a-holic & was living there for 10 years & so I felt like the outsider. I added 2 of my pictures for the wall and a few knick-knacks but never really felt like 'our' place.

OMG! It sounds like everybody's DH/FI's are all so organized and neat!!

Am I the only one with a guy who lives in a 'guys' place??

Karen I didn't move in, but slept at DH alot when we were dating, talk about a guys place?
I was about to change it, however, we moved in together after being together 6 months, or else I would have re did the whole place!!

Karen - Believe me, you are not the only one. It was very hard to have him get rid of things or at least put things away before I started to make it a real home. Basically everything that has been done to the house I have done.

Ughhhh. I moved into the house that my husband had lived in his whole life. He had lived there by himself for 5 years when I met him and I cringed when I first went inside!

The house was clean, but oh my gosh what a packrat. Not only that but I felt like I had stepped back into the 50's! . The house needed updating in the worst way.

Needless to say when I moved in I really wanted to redecorate immediately. The problem was that my DH was really attached to everything in the house having lived in it his whole life. It was very frustating for me to have nothing of mine here, but I realized that change was going to have to be slow and I was going to have to be really patient and compromise. A lot!!!

I had to let him make the decisions to change things and sometimes I didn't think it would ever happen. But...we had the kitchen redone this past January and he realized how much better it made the whole house look. Since then we have either renovated or redecorated all but 2 rooms, my son's room and the den, and they will be redecorated next year some time.

My suggestion is to not try to completely change the environment . At least not all at once. Ask for his opinions and ideas. My DH had some good ones, although most of the time he just agreed with me. But he felt like he had a say too and that made him happy.

Karen, I am so glad to hear that this is going to happen for you soon!!!

How much did you change things around once you got there??

ALOT! First of all...my DH lived in a studio apt. when we first moved in together...obviously that wasn't big enough for us, so we found a 2 BR that had more space and a bigger kitchen so I could cook.

How much of a 'woman's' touch did you bring to the place?

Basically, I demanded furniture! DH (in his studio apt.) had HUGE closets, so he just used the closets for his t-shirts, socks, underwear, and all his clothes. I cannot live with my underwear in a closet, I need a dresser. So, we bought furniture!

What things did your DH/FI have around that you 'got rid of' once you settled in?

Nothing really. We just had to find space to 'merge' our stuff together. We didn't 'get rid' of anything until we were preparing for the baby - then we cleaned out ALOT of stuff that belonged to each of us.

And how did he react to you having an influence over his 'turf' ???

He LOVED it. Having my 'woman's touch' around meant alot to him...we were long distance for almost a year and it was very difficult...DH said that during those 11 months, he dreamt of having me being there to make a 'home' for us.

Thanks ladies. Maybe it won't be so bad after all.

I think I'm just starting to get nervous because the move is getting closer now, and it will be the first time that DH and I will be living together....and my first time for living with ANYONE.

At least I know have my 'girls' behind me.