Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 12, 2004 11:27 AM

Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Ok, I know I have posted about this wedding that DH and I are going to in the Carribean in May.

After all is said and done it will not be cheap. We have already booked everything. I still have to shop for a dress for the wedding and other clothes etc, on top of that give an envelope to the couple.

This leads me to my question.

I received the bridal shower invitation - which is next month. I looked at her registry and I almost had a heart attack. There were alot of high end things on there,so I rushed to the store and purchased one of the cheapest things on there.

This is so not my style, but with all of the other expenses we are incurring from this wedding I did not want to break the bank with the shower.

I feel bad- am I being cheap?

violet Posted: Mar 12, 2004 11:30 AM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

No, you're not being cheap. People don't NEED to have the best quality of products when they're asking people to give it to them. You get a decent quality at a decent price. And let's face it, some people want to ask for the namebrand stuff.

PrincessRose Posted: Mar 12, 2004 11:31 AM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

You're not being cheap at all!

There's only so much you can do. I'd rather have a friend come to my wedding with nothing, than have them break themselves buying presents they can't afford.

KathleenG Posted: Mar 12, 2004 11:31 AM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Not at all. They have to understand people will possibly be strapped. It is a destination wedding!! They should be so thrilled to have you there, I am sure a lot of people are not able to make the trip for that reason. If I were them, I would be very grateful that you and hubby are able to make the trip in the first place!!

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 12, 2004 11:32 AM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

No not at all at least you know why you couldn't get her something more expensive, now if you had gotten her a cheap thing off the registry and you did not have this trip or any other large exense THEN you would would have been being cheap but she just got married at the wrong time for you financially.........

Chloegirl Posted: Mar 12, 2004 11:32 AM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Not cheap at all...its the thought and you being a part of the shower that really matters.

shamma Posted: Mar 12, 2004 11:33 AM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Ky I am sorry to say but they would not get a shower gift from me a wedding gift would be the only thing they would be getting. Or I could stay home and not attend the wedding and give them a shower gift and a wedding gift. I don't think people who are having destination weddings should expect a shower gift and a wedding present on top of all the other expenses that the guest is going to incur

Latina511 Posted: Mar 12, 2004 11:37 AM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Not cheap at all. I completely understand where you are coming from. As I am having a similar situation. I have many weddings and events coming up and honestly we can not dish out sooo much $$$ for all these events since they are coming right after another. As much as I want to give these people a great wedding gift , etc, I can't. If these are real friends and family they will understand that you can only do so much.

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 12, 2004 11:39 AM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Posted by shamma

Ky I am sorry to say but they would not get a shower gift from me a wedding gift would be the only thing they would be getting. Or I could stay home and not attend the wedding and give them a shower gift and a wedding gift. I don't think people who are having destination weddings should expect a shower gift and a wedding present on top of all the other expenses that the guest is going to incur

Thanks to ALL of you for your replies

Shamma, I see your point. She thinks that people who are not going to the wedding will purchase those expensive gifts.

dgtlsunshine Posted: Mar 12, 2004 11:39 AM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Girl from your last post about these people I would give nada

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 12, 2004 12:19 PM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Posted by dgtlsunshine

Girl from your last post about these people I would give nada

They have been good to us thus far- knock on wood.

ChristineC68 Posted: Mar 12, 2004 12:31 PM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

I agree that your justified in not getting an expensive gift. But I just couldn't give a gift I was uncomfortable giving.

franksbride Posted: Mar 12, 2004 12:35 PM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Nope...you're not cheap...don't sweat it!!!

ss2002 Posted: Mar 12, 2004 12:43 PM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Nope-you are not being cheap at all. Like the others said, don't sweat it.

P.S. Where are you going in the Carib? I'm about due for a vacation!

Cindy Posted: Mar 12, 2004 01:01 PM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Not at all! I think you are really going out of your way to be involved with sharing in their day. Shower gifts range in all different prices and if you are spending alot of traveling for the day of then you should not feel bad at all.

TrayLu47 Posted: Mar 12, 2004 01:05 PM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

Ky, people can want the sky, but it's al about what you can afford. I agree with everyone, if you are attending a destination wedding you are already putting out a lot. If I were you I would not worry too much. She can register for gold blocks Forte Knox, but it boils down to what you can get.

I know a guy who is a best man in a wedding and they are putting so much expenses on him that he's ready to bow out! People these days have to stop being so inconsiderate and GREEDY! The bride wants everything held at hotel and restaurants, yet they are not paying for it! It's so selfish and ugly. The demands that some people place on people makes you not want to be involved. When I was getting married I didn't do that. I asked VERY little of my bridal party and family and my hubby and I did damn near everything ourselves.

Sorry for ranting, but the topic upsets me!

One more thing, I was reading on theknot that one MH was throwing a shower for the bride and they could only accommodate 30 people. The bride sends a list for 75. So when the MH told the bride she had to chop down the list, the bride got really angry and her mother stepped in! She told the MH that it's going to cut into her gifts. CAN YOU IMAGINE! I wish someone would attempt do say that to me - she'd be throwing her own shower! That is so LAME!

Okay I'm done!

eroxgirl Posted: Mar 12, 2004 01:07 PM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

It's such a shame that people feel OBLIGATED! It's a gift, it for you to determine the size not the other way around. And you are spending a lot of $$$ just to go to this wedding. I suffer this guilt on occasion as well but at the end of the day, the person receiving the gift should appreciate the thought and effort you're putting into it.

Not cheap at all!

Elizabeth Posted: Mar 12, 2004 01:36 PM

Re: Though I am justified I feel like I cheaped out

I hear you and like most of the replies I skimmed though, I dont blame you. When I got married, I had a nice assortment of price ranges on the registry but I am baffled by high end only registries. I went to a shower for a family friend of my DH's family last fall and her registry was so expensive, I did a chip in with 2 of my SIL's - and still you wouldnt believe what $150 bought. A few 'not my taste' (really ugly)towels. Which BTW, I still have not received a thank you card for. And then the wedding, which we also have not received a TY for.