Let me preface this by first stating that I am an extremely grateful person,, and am VERY appreciative of the fact that both my parents, and FH's parents have told us that they would like to pay for their own guests for the wedding. Fh's mom also told him that she plans on giving us a 'nice' chunk to get us started, that we can use for whatever we prefer. So here's the problem....NOTHING and I mean NOTHING comes without a price with this woman. I was thinking that when and if she gives us this $$, do I sit down with her and politley explain that I will only accept the money if she truly means it's for us? (She is a very controlling woman, and jealous of my relationship with FH, as she is not close with him.) She constantly needs to know what everyone pays for everything!! And then she gossips about it with her friends....The only reason that we even have a semi decent relationship is because she is my future husbands mother, and I don't want a stressful relationship, and I am tolerant of a lot. She's constantly reminding me that when she got married, she had no say, and her parents paid for everything, and planned everything! GET WITH IT LADY!!! IT'S 2008!!!! My friends and FH , and my family always tell me that I am a for putting up with it!!
that is a sucky way for her to be....i agree with you being skeptical of a gift that may just be held over your head forever.....
Nurse12985
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At least she's helping pay for something. I would suck it up and take the $$- shallow but whatever. It's best for you and FH. My FH's parents told us they 'never heard of the grooms family helping with a wedding' and they wished us luck. My MIL made a list of demands for the wedding and she's not giving us a red cent! I just smile and nod to everything she says but none of it is happening. My parents gave us a big chunk of $$ and they have asked nothing other then they can invite a few friends from work.
MJDoc12
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I just gotta say--chances are if you sit this woman down and let her know whats up and how the money SHe gives YOU will be your business alone and such, I'm betting she WILL flip out and tell you where to stick it.
Its not your place to do this---if anyone is going to sit her down and speak about the money, its your FH's place. But in reality I don't think that either of you should have a 'talk' with her. If she wants to give you money and you are willing to deal with her craziness, then take it. But if you don't want it held over your head, don't take it. But either way, I don't think you would have a right to tell her 'you're giving us this money...once you give it....mind your business.' (Obviously you wouldn't say it like THAT--but thats essentially the jist of how she will take it.)
Ask your FH what he wants to do--but I would NOT speak to her about it...let him handle it.
jennarose023
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yikes...it may be good to sit down and have a discussion, and especially if she is not footing the bill for everything. also maybe find some nice way of telling her not to worry about the cost of other things, it's taken care of! sorry!!!
pa56
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Whenever she asks what you guys are doing with the money, I would revert back to your FH and tell your FMIL that he is taking care of it. That way, she will nag him and not you.
Mrs Z To Be
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Thanks girls!
MJDOC- Thank you for slapping me back to reality!! I knew I would never sit her down. Tough girl that I am!! HAHA
KKPK1004
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FH and I were greeted very warmly and congratulated by every person who walked past us in the registrars offic when we got our marriage license.
One funny man stopped and talked to us for 5 minutes, he has been happily married for 35 years.
His words of advice were these:
'Advice from your in-laws is free because that's all it's worth'
