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To Be or Not to Be... Bridesmaids

deeva007 Posted:

To Be or Not to Be... Bridesmaids

The FH and I had decided that we wouldnt have a bridal party with all of our friends.. but would rather have our siblings only serve as MOH and BM (we are having two MOH and two BM)

It seemed like a good idea at the time bc it was less complicated and probably less expensive too. I didnt want to put a financial burdern on the Brides Maids and I also didnt want to deal with everyone's busy schedule and personal drama/taste with picking dresses etc.
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But I am sort of starting to feel sad about this and wondering if I made a mistake.. As much as I am sure my friends will be involved in the process i feel like its not the same without an 'unofficial' bridal party...

Any thoughts on this.. anyone not have a bridal party and wish they did or vice versa??
Espo22 Posted:

Re: To Be or Not to Be... Bridesmaids

i would say if thats what you want then perfect, you dont need a bp. But if you are feeling a little sad about it then maybe consider it, talk to your FH about it and see how he feels.

I can say that there isnt always drama with bp's. I had no drama at all and i had 22ppl in my bridal party. Its funny cause girls on here say no to big bp's bc its too much drama but everytime i hear about bp drama its not always big bp's its small or large and many had drama with smaller bp's than i had.

ONE thing i recommend is to think about who you want part of your bp. How have they reacted to your news? are they there for you now? are they excited? I waited to ask my bp bc of past advice i received. Sadly, so many brides are shocked by how some friends react with news of their wedding, you never see it coming. At least with waiting to ask, you will know by that time how they have reacted.

Also no drama with dress. We picked out the dress in about 30 mins, all the bm's liked one dress and picked it, my moh liked a different dress and she just wore that one. I was even emailed after asking if i was ok with the choices bc it was all too simple and easy lol.

Nobody fought with eachother, nobody gave me any issues.

So dont feel theres always drama. Yes, there can be but just choose wisely.
Just Cindy Posted:

Re: To Be or Not to Be... Bridesmaids

It really up to you. I only have 2 people and I couldnt see it any other way they are the closest people to me and when I look back on my day I wont regret having them there by my side!!!

deeva007 Posted:

Re: To Be or Not to Be... Bridesmaids

Thanks Espo..
You are right-- some of my friends have been great and some have been ***! The other reason we opted against a BP is bc I have group of gfs from growing up some of whom I am not that close to but would nevertheless feel left out if i included some of the girls and not them.. it became one of those things that I figured... its more trouble than its worth.. and now I am having second thougths.

I invited all of my gfs for brunch and explained to them that we decided to have only fam in the BP but that i loved and thanked them for their support and if we did have a BP they would be the girls i would choose as they are my closest friends.. and that i would love for them to be involved in the process.

I feel like its kind of lame to change my mind now? (sorry shoudl have mentioned more of the backstory in my original post)
NYYankeeGirl72 Posted:

Re: To Be or Not to Be... Bridesmaids

I actually have a small bridal party.. And right now I am having a MOH (best friend) and Matron of Honor (co-worker who introduced me to FH). FH is having just a BM.

We are kind of did the opposite...At this moment, we have not asked our siblings to be in our wedding. His sister is against marriage, so I think it is a bit awkward to have her participate in ours. My brother, although I wanted him to be a GM, is not that close to FH, so don't want to force FH to ask him if he doesn't want to.

I am kind of glad that we're having a small BP. It is bit less of stress when you are dealing with a handful of people.
Espo22 Posted:

Re: To Be or Not to Be... Bridesmaids


Posted by deeva007

Thanks Espo..
You are right-- some of my friends have been great and some have been ***! The other reason we opted against a BP is bc I have group of gfs from growing up some of whom I am not that close to but would nevertheless feel left out if i included some of the girls and not them.. it became one of those things that I figured... its more trouble than its worth.. and now I am having second thougths.

I invited all of my gfs for brunch and explained to them that we decided to have only fam in the BP but that i loved and thanked them for their support and if we did have a BP they would be the girls i would choose as they are my closest friends.. and that i would love for them to be involved in the process.

I feel like its kind of lame to change my mind now? (sorry shoudl have mentioned more of the backstory in my original post)



dont even start worry about who would feel left out, dont ask just to ask. Ask those that you are closest to. They'll understand trust me and if not well not your problem lol.
CappyGirl Posted:

Re: To Be or Not to Be... Bridesmaids

I am in a similiar situation at the moment - FH and I want to figure out our bp situation soon - originally we were planning to have my sister and his sister as maid and matron of honor and both his brothers as the best men . . . but I think my friends will be hurt, they've expressed as much. We are still trying to decide, but we just can't figure out what the right thing will be for us. It's frustrating - I love my friends, I just want something to be easy!!

RedtoWed Posted:

Re: To Be or Not to Be... Bridesmaids

I think family and CLOSEST friends are a safe bet. I know so many girls who have had MOH who they don't even talk to 2 years after wedding. I did NOT want that so I'm having:

2 sisters
1 cousin
and my BEST FRIEND since childhood

FH is having
1 brother
2 cousins
Best friend since childhood

I'm really comfortable with this because these are people I own't ever feel like I'm 'burdening' with prices etc
Deeglasser Posted:

Re: To Be or Not to Be... Bridesmaids

nope!!! not having one and i don't regret my decision at all!!! we are having my brother and his sister and that's it. we are keeping it simple and less stressful. my FSIL can pick her own dress and i will pick flowers to match for her. i don't frown upon bridal parties, i just have had some awful personal experiences and thought this would be the best option for us!!!

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