My co-worker was invited to her uncles wedding. Her uncle & his fiance happen to be in their mid to late 70's. The wife to be is pretty well off. My co-worker doesn't feel like she really has to give anything other then a nice picture frame for a gift, and has even said maybe give them nothing. I told her that just b/c they are in their 70's does not mean that they don't get a gift. To each is own but I believe that gifts are for showers and envelopes are for weddings, but that is my own opinion. However, does this 'rule' still apply to a couple in their 70's ?
MnM182008
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Re: To give or not to give
Are you kidding me, if you are invited to a wedding, I don't care what age they are you give a gift. I think its rude to go anywhere empty handed, especially to a wedding. The rule still applies, its a wedding you give a gift.
I agree! And God Bless them that they are able to do it at their age!
sophisticat13
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I agree...to not give a gift is to somehow disrepect them and their wedding...who cares how old they are?
MrsSoto
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JMO...but I would question this as well...I mean, a couple in their 70s who have assumingly worked all of their lives does not need the money as much as a person in their 20, 30s. I know it's not all about need and its the gesture but in my opinion, a wedding gift is supossed to be something for the couple to use to to jump 'start their lives' and the money is to make it a little easier for them to begin to fulfill their dreams of a house, children, etc.
I feel that a couple in their 70s would have different needs and another gift might be more meaningful and useful anyway. Maybe an overnight vacation, gift certificates to a restaurant and show, etc.
Something smaller I think would be okay too. but, I do agree that some gift is necessary and respectful.
meara
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Yeah I agree to give something but I don't think you need to give as much. I have been to two weddings of folks that age and they all requested either no presents or donations to a charity which I thought was nice b/c really do you need new towels?? But it is still a wedding and you are celebrating them and they are still hosting/treating their guests
PrincyJo
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Re: To give or not to give
Posted by MnM182008
Are you kidding me, if you are invited to a wedding, I don't care what age they are you give a gift. I think its rude to go anywhere empty handed, especially to a wedding. The rule still applies, its a wedding you give a gift.
ditto
jen919ifer
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Yeah so I told her I was gonna post here to get your ideas, so I think she should go with a really nice frame for their wedding photo then, or maybe even a gift cert to a nice restaurant, but I also told her that she couldn't not give, unless they said no gifts
Ray8183
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Re: To give or not to give
Posted by PrincyJo
Posted by MnM182008
Are you kidding me, if you are invited to a wedding, I don't care what age they are you give a gift. I think its rude to go anywhere empty handed, especially to a wedding. The rule still applies, its a wedding you give a gift.
ditto
I agree.
SFAR89
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Re: To give or not to give
The whole purpose of a wedding is to celebrate with the couple. It isn't really written in stone that you should give money or any kind of a gift. Inviting people to a wedding back in the day was mainly just to have them witness the couple's marriage and vows and celebrate with them. Obviously things have changed since then, but I think she should give SOMETHING. I just dont think that you should determine how much or how little you give someone based upon their age or how well off they are. I also don't think married couples should EXPECT things either ya know?
I am not trying to be mean or anything like that, I am just trying to maybe shed a different perspective on it.
debzy
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Re: To give or not to give
The purpose of a gift is not to make the bride and groom rich - it's to present them with something special to build their lives with. It's symbolic. You give a gift to any wedding you attend - no matter what the age for financial status of the couple is!
RadiantBride
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Re: To give or not to give
I dont think the age has anything to do with it. If someone invites me to a wedding I would bring them a gift no matter what their age is.
ETA: Debzy said exactly what I was thinking.
JenBill61210
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Posted by RadiantBride
I dont think the age has anything to do with it. If someone invites me to a wedding I would bring them a gift no matter what their age is.
ETA: Debzy said exactly what I was thinking.
ITA
BoxOfRocks
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Re: To give or not to give
Posted by Future_Farrell
The whole purpose of a wedding is to celebrate with the couple. It isn't really written in stone that you should give money or any kind of a gift. Inviting people to a wedding back in the day was mainly just to have them witness the couple's marriage and vows and celebrate with them. Obviously things have changed since then, but I think she should give SOMETHING. I just dont think that you should determine how much or how little you give someone based upon their age or how well off they are. I also don't think married couples should EXPECT things either ya know?
I am not trying to be mean or anything like that, I am just trying to maybe shed a different perspective on it.
I agree.
megsher
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Re: To give or not to give
I think you should give a gift, but I don't think there is anything wrong to give a gift, rather than money. In fact, my older relatives give gifts at wedding, and consider a gift of money tacky.
Dazzlin217
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Re: To give or not to give
FH and I went to his cousins wedding and they are both pretty well off, so we had no idea what to give them. They only had a small party on the beach, so we just bought them an expensive bottle of wine. I wish we could have given more, but its true what do you give people who have a lot of money.
i think that your friend should bring something to their wedding even though she may have some money. they are paying for her to be there. i thnk it would be rude if she didnt
IMO
eoconnell09
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Re: To give or not to give
I think that building memories is very important for people, especially at that age. They tend to be a little more sentimental than we are....perhaps an engraved photo album/shawdow box....I think they have one at Things Remembered. That is always a nice gift.....sometimes people appreciated the less expensive yet thoughtful gift more than anything.....
I also think that a certificate to a nice restaurant is perfect!
