To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

Sunset Renee Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:05 PM

To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

First - background : FH and I have been working hard to cut down our guest list - we made an age cut off of 18 years old b/c we just couldnt afford to pay for all of the kids in both of our families. We want it to be as small as possible. We are paying for the whole thing ourselves and we own a home.
Mom wants me to invite people 12 people from my father's job that I have never even met - I couldn't even tell you their names right now.....I am inviting his boss and his friend that I do know though. I just feel that it is not right to cut out my cousins b/c they are not 18 and go and invite people I don't even know!!
What do u girls think I should do? Should I just tell Momzilla she's gotta chill out or do I just go with the flow?

bluegreen08 Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:06 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

who is paying?

Sunset Renee Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:06 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

Posted by bluegreen08

who is paying?

We are paying for the whole thing!

MrsK2008 Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:07 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

I think since you have put so much thought into your guest list and you clearly have a budget you should tell Mom no way........

Annoulak Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:07 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

you can explain your rationale for not wanting to invite those 12 people, and then suggest that if she absolutely MUST invite them, she should pay for them.

madseason Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:07 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

Do NOT go with the flow - I did that and I regret it so much!

Stop it now - just tell her that you have made your guest list and tellher the room only holds 160 -180 comfy (which is why im praying for Nos) adn that your guest list as it stands now, is accomidating..

Better yet...

Are you doiung invites and eveything yourself? Then tune her out and go about it, bc then she isnt involved - you do NOT need to defend your decisons

Sunset Renee Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:08 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

Thanks girls!! AHHHHH she is driving me loco!!

jessica08bride Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:08 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

i feel you on this one. i set a limit my parents could invite since we are paying for this ourselves as well. we agreed that if they went over that number, that they would cover the cost for those extra people. is this a possibility?

agraydc Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:09 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

i f you are paying and need to keep it small, explain this to mom, exactly what u just said to us.....

'we r paying and cant invite the entire family as we would like so we cant invite people we dont even know and offer that compromise of boss and close friend...'

mom has to respect that

Sunset Renee Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:09 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

Posted by madseason

Do NOT go with the flow - I did that and I regret it so much!

Stop it now - just tell her that you have made your guest list and tellher the room only holds 160 -180 comfy (which is why im praying for Nos) adn that your guest list as it stands now, is accomidating..

Better yet...

Are you doiung invites and eveything yourself? Then tune her out and go about it, bc then she isnt involved - you do NOT need to defend your decisons

Thank you!!! That's exactly what I said to FH - I am the one doing the invites so I have the last word - But now he is getting angry with her and I can just smell the fight brewing.....

Mici n KC Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:13 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

Tell her no!

bluegreen08 Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:15 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

Posted by Sunset Renee

Posted by bluegreen08

who is paying?

We are paying for the whole thing!

if you are paying, then you get to decide the guest list. it is very nice of you to be inviting your dads guests that are currently on the list, and it's totally reasonable for you to tell your parents that you just cant afford to invite an unlimited guest list, so you're cutting it down to include [whoever]

good luck

Sunset Renee Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:15 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

I'm tellin you girls - I think my FMIL is going to have it out with my Mom - If FH doesn't get to her first!!

madseason Posted: Apr 01, 2008 02:18 PM

Re: To Invite or Not to Invite - Seems to be the question....

Posted by Sunset Renee

Posted by madseason

Do NOT go with the flow - I did that and I regret it so much!

Stop it now - just tell her that you have made your guest list and tellher the room only holds 160 -180 comfy (which is why im praying for Nos) adn that your guest list as it stands now, is accomidating..

Better yet...

Are you doiung invites and eveything yourself? Then tune her out and go about it, bc then she isnt involved - you do NOT need to defend your decisons

Thank you!!! That's exactly what I said to FH - I am the one doing the invites so I have the last word - But now he is getting angry with her and I can just smell the fight brewing.....

I just saw your other post -

These women are supposed to be adults. And if she does have it out with your mom or FH - so what? Is that going to change your decision...and she has no place venting to your mom.

Hopefully nyour mom is level headed in that if she does get confronted by his mom, just to brush her off and say - ok ok ok ok ok ok well, whatever renee is doing shes doing, and i have no control over it.

FH should just chill - tell him that he cant change his mom - but the way he reacts - and by reacting like that his mom knows shes getting to him and then hell break and just say FINE!!!! Just tell him to relax, and just tune her OUT...

When shes flipping out all over the place shell look like a fool. and let her do that on her own!