to the new mommies

I guess Kathi, Niha...and anybody who remembers the 'in the beginning days'.

What's it like? Besides the intense love and exhaustion. What do you do all day? How long until YOU feel on some kind of schedule? My question was triggered by Niha..that she's already bored a little at home - which I can see happening to ALL of us since we all seem to be women used to running around and doing a million things outside of the home. Don't get me wrong - I am really looking forward to being home with my little one those first few months (we haven't decided if I'll be going back to work after 3 months) I am just curious about the reality of it all. Are you lonely? Do you find yourself fixing up the house...organizing closets and stuff? Or is there no time for that? Do you sleep a lot?

Thanks for any feedback!

i was home jan- march so no fun going out. at least these ladies have good weather (in between rain storms)
i was completley exhausted...and had sprained muscles in my legs so i was hobbling along. so some days i would bundle up j and go one block to the chiro

something to think about. my months home will be january - april! Back to work in time for Spring!

I think the first few weeks home were so emotional, exhausting, etc. that I wasn't bored. I did get stuck with all the rain etc. in May, so it was hard to take the baby out, but I wish I had had some more time to do things...it seems like all you do is feed, change, feed, change, feed, change, etc. On nice days, we'd go for a walk, etc. It takes a while before a routine starts to appear.

I am back at work now for a few more weeks before becoming a SAHM - and I can't wait!!

I think it's very different than I thought it would be like, and when you have expectations that aren't so, you get a little disappointed. I had a very active lifestyle before, running around always doing something. I have a hard time sitting still and relaxing. I expected to be organizing, cleaning, doing creative things, playing with the baby all day long. I don't know WHAT I was thinking!

My day goes by pretty quickly, wake up for the day anywhere b/t 7 and 9am. I usually stay in bed until Lyla starts fussing, b/c of being up at night. Then I nurse her until she falls asleep again. I make coffee after I put her down, and wash bottles or empty the dishwasher in the meantime. I guess I do have a lot of time to sit around and relax. I check my email and the boards, and before I know it, she's up again to nurse. I try to nurse her during the day as much as possible, but usually end up giving her a bottle around noon, or before I go out. I do sit around a lot, and I have the TV almost all day, since it 'gives me company', and it seems that a lot of the day, especially in the early days, is spent sitting and nusring.

I didn't realize that doing the smallest things like taking a shower, going to the bathroom, making the bed and eating lunch would take up my day. Everything takes twice as long to do. I also thought I'd go for walks everyday, esp. since there's a park and library 2 blocks away. But, that only happens 2 or 3x a week. It's a big event to get her in the stroller and go out for 1/2 hour without her crying. She needs to be held a lot!

I don't think anyone can prepare a new mom, she just has to experience it. I did a lot of 'I wish someone had told me' type thinking. But every baby and mommy is different, and the way things work our is different for each situtation.

I think some of my expectations will happen a little later, and believe it or not, I have even been thinking that I should maybe go back to work. But when I think about it, I would still rather be home with Lyla than go back to work.

The 'sleep when the baby sleeps' thing hasn't exactly been working for me. It feels like as soon as she falls asleep I have energy to do a few things. And, sometimes by the time I do fall asleep, she's awake again! I've alwasy had a hard time taking naps.

To be honest, I do feel lonely sometimes. I can't wait for the evenings and weekends, when DH is there for both company and to help out. I don't have a lot of friends that are moms, or SAHMs. At least it's summertime and I can sit outdoors. Also, those late nights can make you feel lonely, thank God for Nick at Nite!

NIHA

Being a SAHM now with a 13 month old is almost as hectic as having an infant. Even though she doesnt need to eat or sleep as often as she did in the beginning she is into EVERYTHING!!!!! I have to have a constant eye on her. I cant leave her in her bouncy seat and do what I have to do. FH wonders why the house looks the way it does when he gets home and the laundry isnt folded (When I do fold it with her around she takes the clothes I folded and throws them around the house) but with chasing Emma around, playing with her and trying to be a human with my own life there is no time for the trivial things. There is a GREAT artical in Parents Mag this month about being a SAHM. The only time I get to do anything around the house is when FH gets home at night or when Emma is sleeping then I clean the house and put stuff away. Life with small children is hard.

Like Niha I have the TV on almost all day for the company. The house gets very quiet without it. TG for my neighbor who has a 2 year old!!!

Being a SAHM is very lonely. You have a baby who cant talk back to you EVERY DAY 24 Hours 7 Days a week. A Constant job. Its tough at times but to see your child learning new things because you taught her/him them is SO amazing.

Ok Im going to Brag right now: Emma has a vocab of over 40 words! She knows and says Teeth, eye, nose, ear, belly and toes. And she says Mommy clear as day. Makes my heart melt.

thanks for such honest answers!

I am working from home now and this gets lonely.
So I am sure if I was stuck in the house without an way of just 'running to the store' it would even worse for me.
I have also heard from many women that the experience is not what they thought it would be. Naomi Wolf wrote a book called 'Misconceptions' which is based on that premise. I plan to read it before the baby comes.

Jenny- I am going to be home at the same time as you. We can visit

I have probably run the gammet of emotional changes since becoming a Mommy. I too, used to be very 'free' with my schedule and my time and I have found the adjustment to SAHM-hood to be very difficult. I try to get out as much as possible during the day w/Paul - whether its shopping, visiting my grandparents, just going for a walk or having a playdate w/another SAHM and child. But, there are days when I just don't have the 'get up and go' to pack the diaper bag, load the car, etc...so, we hang at home and Mommy gets some cleaning done.

My situation is even a little more stressful b/c my DH works from home. So, I have the added pressure to keep Paul quiet (if we are home) or get out even if I don't feel like, just to give DH some quiet time to do his work.

I think you just have to be easy on yourself in the beginning. Don't expect too much of yourself, b/c no matter how prepared you are and how much you love your baby, there are moments when you will be miserable. You're not a bad Mommy, you're just taking on a lot of change all at once

Being a *very* new mommy... Sean's home 9 days, I am going to be brutally honest here!! (DH is home from work now so I have time to be on-line).

Boredom has definitely not kicked in yet. Complete and utter exhaustion has. I always remember my mother and sisters telling me 'it gets worse' when I complained about not sleeping while pg. Nothing can prepare you for what you'll experience.

Truthfully, I still have aches and pains from labor. My episiotomy and hemorrhoids (TMI) still hurt. I can't imagine how I'd feel if I had a C/S. Breastfeeding was a complete failure, which I'm still getting over emotionally.

Being that my Peanut is still so 'new', there's no such thing as a schedule yet. Last night he fussed for almost 6 hours. Up and down, an ounce here and there.

If I can give any advice to the M-T-B, it's take help/assistance wherever and whenever you can get it!!!!! DH went back to work Wednesday and Sean and I are alone all day. I have little time to accomplish things around the house right now, b/c he's up and down so much!! I have family/friends coming over next week - 1 or 2 ppl at a time. I can't wait for their company!!

Like I said before, nothing can prepare you for this experience, but there's also nothing to prepare you for the amount of love you'll feel for your baby. I waited 37 years for my little man. He's absolutely the most precious thing in the world to me (along w/ DH).