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MrsCastanedain09 Posted:

Re: Maid of Honor dimemma - sorry long...

It may be a bit uncomfortable at first but you're saving yourself a HUGE headache in the long run!

You need people you can turn to and that will drop everything for you. Your Matron of Honor sounds like the right choice. You're not crummy
DonnaPWhite1124 Posted:

Re: Maid of Honor dimemma - sorry long...

I just want to share this one real quick-one of my best friends got married this past October and had one BM (whom we were both friends with) -that started acting differently and very distant. And seemed a bit jealous.

Long story short, a whole bunch of drama started a month *yes a month* before the wedding. She told our friend (who we knew for 14 yrs) to leave the BP and return the dress.

I dont want to sound like the pessimist here, but crazy things happen before a wedding. I'd see where it goes, but if and when you have a gut feeling then go with it.

MrsJuneB2B Posted:

Re: Maid of Honor dimemma - sorry long...

i don't know the whole situation, but it just seems like you know the decision you want to make. it might be hard now, but you have to do what will make you happy and help you to enjoy this whole time in your life. whatever you do, DON'T invite unnecessary drama into your life...enough of it finds its way into a wedding anyway!! sometimes, things just change and there's nothing wrong with changing with it! JMO
tonysbride09 Posted:

Re: Maid of Honor dimemma - sorry long...

Could it be that maybe she's using alot of her time to plan her wedding? I know my MOH is getting married next august and she spends alot of time planning her wedding even though mine is first but whenever I need her or need to vent she's right there for me.
Of course she also could be jealous. Maybe you should explain to her that you know she has a wedding to plan also and maybe its going to be too stressful to be your MOH but you would still like her to be in your bridal party. I know you don't want the drama but it doesn't sound like you would want to lose her as a friend.
gina409 Posted:

Re: Maid of Honor dimemma - sorry long...

i think if she asks why she is not u just have to tell her thr truth..there is no easy way around this and u shouldnt make her a 2nd moh just cause u feel guilty..im sure she will understand and she might even already knowcause im sure she would have expected to hear it on the phone if she was ur moh

emric Posted:

Re: Maid of Honor dimemma - sorry long...

thanks ladies for your advice! I don't want to lose her as a friend. She's been great to me and it's just really sad that things are turning like this. We were like sisters and it's really a shame that I am going through this right now.

Deeglasser Posted:

Re: Maid of Honor dimemma - sorry long...

if you want to continue your friendship you have to have a conversation with her, you can't just 'demote' her or 'kick' her out of your BP. if you do that you risk not being friends anymore and i don't think this is what you want. i would talk to her and give her the chance to make amends- if she isn't aware of the fact that she is hurting your feelings and you just demote her, she is going to react very badly. just some things to think about! it will all work out in the end!

Suzanner Posted:

Re: Maid of Honor dimemma - sorry long...

I'm only having two ladies in my bp, and one is married and the other is not. I couldn't call one my MOH and the other 'bridesmaid'- it just didn't feel right. So I am calling one the Matron of Honor, and the other the Maid of Honor. If you want to avoid the stress, maybe you can do the same!! Hope this helps!

And you seem to really value this girl who disappointed you- maybe you can talk about it? I'm so sorry, and hope it works out.

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