Torn on what to do...advice SERIOUSLY needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone,

Ok so as most of you know/remember, I started a new job last week. Prior to my starting, I found out I was pregnant. I haven't mentioned anything to my new employer yet, because:
1. I'm still very early in the pregnancy and am afraid it will jinx it.
2. I'm not sure how they are going to react?

It's not like I knew when they offered me the position. I actually found out later on that same night and when I contacted my friend who works here as well, she said I shouldn't mention anything until I'm 3 months.

Now..I was reading an article in Parents magazine and saw this little section that said 'Many women choose to wait until they're through the first trimester, when the risk of miscarriage goes down significantly and they're more confident of keeping the pregnancy. On the other hand, consider how a new employer would feel when, several months after starting work, you reveal your pregnancy. The fact that you accepted the job without telling your employer you were pregnant could permanently damage your relationship'

Here's the thing, I accepted the job BEFORE I found out I was pregnant. I am so excited about this, and don't want my employer to be upset with me. What should I do?? HELP ME PLEASE!!!

I wouldnt worry too much if I were you...wait until you're 3-4 months and are starting to show.

How long are you planning to stay out after you give birth?

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

I wouldnt worry too much if I were you...wait until you're 3-4 months and are starting to show.

How long are you planning to stay out after you give birth?

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I would have LOVED to have been able to stay out for 3 months..but am not sure I can. As it is, I will more than likely go unpaid because I won't have been here a year by the time the baby comes. The good thing is I can work from home...BUT again..am not sure how they are going to take it. At my previous job I had so much sick time saved up that I was going to stay out for 3 months..but unfortunately I don't have that option here. I just can't imagine coming back to work after 6 weeks. I did it with my son (no choice), but am not sure I can/want to do that this time around.

I would wait. Many girls don't even tell family until 3 months. Try to relax. You did nothing deceiving. You didn't know.

I wouldn't worry until you're at least 3 months into the pregnancy, possibly 4, when you really start showing. They CANNOT be upset w. u, it would be wrong. Not harassment, but they can't tell u how to live ur life or godforbid fire you. They can and probably do have policies on materinity leave if your not with the company that long. They may not give you the normal (3?) months off for the materinity leave, but maybe they will. Youre best off to wait until 3-4 months, and most importantly, don't let ANYONE try to bring u down, this is a really happy time!

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Posted by MrsBrags7706

I wouldn't worry until you're at least 3 months into the pregnancy, possibly 4, when you really start showing. They CANNOT be upset w. u, it would be wrong. Not harassment, but they can't tell u how to live ur life or godforbid fire you. They can and probably do have policies on materinity leave if your not with the company that long. They may not give you the normal (3?) months off for the materinity leave, but maybe they will. Youre best off to wait until 3-4 months, and most importantly, don't let ANYONE try to bring u down, this is a really happy time!

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I agree. If I'm not able to take 3 months off..then I'll just have to deal with it..but hopefully since they are 'flexible' I will be able to. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!

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Posted by Mitabtrfly

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

I wouldnt worry too much if I were you...wait until you're 3-4 months and are starting to show.

How long are you planning to stay out after you give birth?

---

I would have LOVED to have been able to stay out for 3 months..but am not sure I can. As it is, I will more than likely go unpaid because I won't have been here a year by the time the baby comes. The good thing is I can work from home...BUT again..am not sure how they are going to take it. At my previous job I had so much sick time saved up that I was going to stay out for 3 months..but unfortunately I don't have that option here. I just can't imagine coming back to work after 6 weeks. I did it with my son (no choice), but am not sure I can/want to do that this time around.

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In any event, worst comes to worst, you can always work from home to make-up the extra 6-7 weeks that you want to stay out...

Take care of yourself now and the little bean growing inside of you...this is no time to stress. You have done nothing deceiving.

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

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Posted by Mitabtrfly

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

I wouldnt worry too much if I were you...wait until you're 3-4 months and are starting to show.

How long are you planning to stay out after you give birth?

---

I would have LOVED to have been able to stay out for 3 months..but am not sure I can. As it is, I will more than likely go unpaid because I won't have been here a year by the time the baby comes. The good thing is I can work from home...BUT again..am not sure how they are going to take it. At my previous job I had so much sick time saved up that I was going to stay out for 3 months..but unfortunately I don't have that option here. I just can't imagine coming back to work after 6 weeks. I did it with my son (no choice), but am not sure I can/want to do that this time around.

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In any event, worst comes to worst, you can always work from home to make-up the extra 6-7 weeks that you want to stay out...

Take care of yourself now and the little bean growing inside of you...this is no time to stress. You have done nothing deceiving.

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Thanks!!!!!

I'm actually working with a girl who started when I did (in Aug) and she is 7 1/2 months pregnant now.

She honestly did not even know she was pregnant until she was almost 4 months (no symptoms). We are all so excited for her and she does not have a bad relationship with anyone... our boss is so excited for her.

I'd wait until you are 3 months to tell anyone.

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Posted by CaMacho

I'm actually working with a girl who started when I did (in Aug) and she is 7 1/2 months pregnant now.

She honestly did not even know she was pregnant until she was almost 4 months (no symptoms). We are all so excited for her and she does not have a bad relationship with anyone... our boss is so excited for her.

I'd wait until you are 3 months to tell anyone.

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Thanks..that's what I am planning to do. I'm sure it will be fine...just got a little worried there.

i agree with everyone.. If you can wait to tell them then I would... unless there is some type of reason you have to for safety... ( work hazard etc) Otherwise most employers wont expect to know until you're past 12 weeks....

IMO-- if you are having a hard time with sickness.. it may be in your best interest to tell them so they ahve a heads up... and may be a little more compassionate when you' disappear to the ladies room' frequently...

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

I would wait, I think its pretty standard to wait 12 weeks or so before telling anyone, I am sure they will understand.

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I agree!

I would wait until your first trimester is over --

and I would stress to them them you are definitely coming back after the baby -

and congrats!

Not to be graphic but I would say you found out when you were 2 1/2 months along-some women still get their periods the first few months of pregnancy. I know a fewfriends who didn't know until 2-3 months?!?!? Sounds crazy, but otherwise you could tell them you didn't find out until after you accepted the job, and that you didn't want to jinx anything-go the honest approach. It's your call. Good luck.

I was pregnant [without knowing it] when I started my new job. Literally during the interview process, I got pregnant. I was interviewed one week and had a2nd interview the next. I was days pregnant when hired.

I told them early, but I was showing and needed the company list of drs. with my first child, I waited until 4 months when I started showing and I'd been at the job for 2 years.