Total Bridezilla flip out
Hello ladies,
I'm writing out into the ether because honestly I'm at my wits end.
I wanted a wedding that was easy, and somehow it's ballooned into a big event.
I honestly never wanted to be bridezilla, didn't think it was worth it. Now I'm mad as hell and i can't take it anymore.
On the list of things that have gone wrong:
fMIL, sweet lady, love her, sent us a huge invite list insisting that everyone would want to come, this completely totally seriously messed up the count. by RSVP date, we hadn't heard from around 30ppl (out of 160 invites). As it turns out, she just is not that worldly, and couldn't understand why some of them hadn't responded.
javascript:FEmote('![]()
');One couple as it turns out, was someone they were friends with BEFORE DF was born, he's never met them, and they haven't seen each other in 10 years.
Another woman is 85, ailing in a wheelchair and living in florida, fMIL was sure she'd definatly come. javascript:FEmote('![]()
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Needless to say we've finished our campaign of last minute invites to the friends we wanted to invite in the first place. And made up for 28 of the 30 such people on her list.
I am close with my family, but tend to keep emotional distance. We have a lot of friends but decided for multiple political reasons to have only one MoH (my sister) and one BM (his brother).
BM surprised to learn last week that he needed a hotel room. yes, #$%#$. You do.
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MoH- Needs direction for EVERYTHING, Is so completely afraid to make any descisions, even ones I tell her I really just don't want to care about, for fear that they won't be perfect that I've wound up giving her guidance on everything just to keep things moving. As it turns out I just got a nasty note for being a control freak.
And to be honest, I really do not care if my 18mo old nephew is wearing a burgundy vest.
MOTHER - insists on paying for reception, thinks she's paying for whole wedding, when in fact the reality is, it's 1/3 her, 1/3 DF's family, and 1/3 us. She has been telling EVERYONE she's paying, has no idea what she's doing, honestly, asks me when final payment is due on reception, I tell her it's in her contract but give her the date i've told her again like 150times. (Thursday before the wedding).
I think I made a big mistake in trying to rely on them for help. I have had no support from them whatsoever. I had to BEG them to come to a dress fitting. Mom bailed out on one because she had to go grocery shopping.
I knew all about this beforehand, I'm 34 years old, none of this is news. I guess I was just hoping they would pull it together just a hair for this.
The truth is, while they have their good qualities, they also can be really insecure and irresponsible, and very sadly bitter, unhappy people.
The kind of people who are only happy when everyone else around them is miserable. And since we're in a wedding situation, all of the stress is bringing out the worst in them and the worst in me.
I'm just so completely totally dissapointed with them that I am honestly on the verge of tears. I've done this entire thing with the loving help of DF, and gotten little to no support from them at all, and nothing but critisicim, fight picking,
I guess the worst part of it, is that I'm supposed to be the one freaking out, and I can't freak out near them because they're not strong enough to realise that it's a temporary freak out.
I lived on the west coast for several years to get away from all of this, I had made up my mind to be different. And on a good day, it's in perspective. On a day like today, all bets are off.
Thanks for your ears.
I'm writing out into the ether because honestly I'm at my wits end.
I wanted a wedding that was easy, and somehow it's ballooned into a big event.
I honestly never wanted to be bridezilla, didn't think it was worth it. Now I'm mad as hell and i can't take it anymore.
On the list of things that have gone wrong:
fMIL, sweet lady, love her, sent us a huge invite list insisting that everyone would want to come, this completely totally seriously messed up the count. by RSVP date, we hadn't heard from around 30ppl (out of 160 invites). As it turns out, she just is not that worldly, and couldn't understand why some of them hadn't responded.
javascript:FEmote('
Another woman is 85, ailing in a wheelchair and living in florida, fMIL was sure she'd definatly come. javascript:FEmote('
Needless to say we've finished our campaign of last minute invites to the friends we wanted to invite in the first place. And made up for 28 of the 30 such people on her list.
I am close with my family, but tend to keep emotional distance. We have a lot of friends but decided for multiple political reasons to have only one MoH (my sister) and one BM (his brother).
BM surprised to learn last week that he needed a hotel room. yes, #$%#$. You do.
javascript:FEmote('
MoH- Needs direction for EVERYTHING, Is so completely afraid to make any descisions, even ones I tell her I really just don't want to care about, for fear that they won't be perfect that I've wound up giving her guidance on everything just to keep things moving. As it turns out I just got a nasty note for being a control freak.
And to be honest, I really do not care if my 18mo old nephew is wearing a burgundy vest.
MOTHER - insists on paying for reception, thinks she's paying for whole wedding, when in fact the reality is, it's 1/3 her, 1/3 DF's family, and 1/3 us. She has been telling EVERYONE she's paying, has no idea what she's doing, honestly, asks me when final payment is due on reception, I tell her it's in her contract but give her the date i've told her again like 150times. (Thursday before the wedding).
I think I made a big mistake in trying to rely on them for help. I have had no support from them whatsoever. I had to BEG them to come to a dress fitting. Mom bailed out on one because she had to go grocery shopping.
I knew all about this beforehand, I'm 34 years old, none of this is news. I guess I was just hoping they would pull it together just a hair for this.
The truth is, while they have their good qualities, they also can be really insecure and irresponsible, and very sadly bitter, unhappy people.
The kind of people who are only happy when everyone else around them is miserable. And since we're in a wedding situation, all of the stress is bringing out the worst in them and the worst in me.
I'm just so completely totally dissapointed with them that I am honestly on the verge of tears. I've done this entire thing with the loving help of DF, and gotten little to no support from them at all, and nothing but critisicim, fight picking,
I guess the worst part of it, is that I'm supposed to be the one freaking out, and I can't freak out near them because they're not strong enough to realise that it's a temporary freak out.
I lived on the west coast for several years to get away from all of this, I had made up my mind to be different. And on a good day, it's in perspective. On a day like today, all bets are off.
Thanks for your ears.
