Hey ladies.... So 6 months ago, FH and I sat down to list all our invited guests to our wedding. Our list totalled about 80, we really didn't want to add more being that it would cost us more. Our room can fit a total of 120 ppl, but still we want to minimize our spending. So as the months come by, our list is gradually increasing, on his side.....Basically, FMIL is inviting all her relatives, whom FH is not really close to. I already asked FH to speak w/ her and to please ask her not to include anyone else...our list is now 100! Do you think I should ignore this or should I continue to persist w/ FH and tell FMIL, that as much as we appreciate her, that it's our list not hers?
imas98
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Re: Total guests
The same thing happened to us. Our original list is 80 people....we're now upto 135.
BlushingBride714
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OMG, my FMIL did this to me today AGAIN too! We originally were inviting 125 guests and now the list is up to 140 and she called me an hour ago to tell me she needs to add 4 more people!
BlushingBride714
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Re: Total guests
Posted by imas98
The same thing happened to us. Our original list is 80 people....we're now upto 135.....i wish I had given each parent a cap from the beginning !!!
We did that -- we told each parent that they had 60 people and that was it! Well my parents are now up to 68 and FIL's are up to 72!!! Meanwhile we have 5 friends on the list and that is it!!!! UGH, it makes me so MAD!!!
tricia3381
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what is it with FMIL's adding to the guest list??? given my family is smaller than fh's, but i think this is a little ridiculous, my family's side -48, his family's side- 128 originally we were just going to keep it to first cousins, but now FMIL added her and her husband cousins (FH's 2nd cousins) and her and her husbands aunts and uncles (fh's great aunts and uncles). so i of course flipped since the addition of the 'unecessaty guests' came with out the offer of helping to pay. so i said i'd love to have all these people, but simply can't afford it. thats when FMIL put her money where mouth is told us she'll be giving us a NICE sum of $$ to cover these extra costs. so my advice is let them add whoever they want, but just them know they will also need to pay for these guests.
Snickers76
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Re: Total guests
are you paying for the wedding? If you are, you should definitely say something. 20 extra guests can total 2K or more! Tell them that you don't mind having their friends there, but you can't afford the extra cost...see what they say...
Mandyin2007
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Re: Total guests
Same thing happened here. We had to explain to her very clearly, 'We can only have XXX amount of guest. We can not afford and do not have the room for anymore.'
portjeffbride
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Re: Total guests
I'd be blunt and say you simply cannot afford paying for all of the extra place settings. Tell them if they want all the extra guests, it's fine by you, but they at least have to pay for their recpetion fees.... and then volunteer to pay the remaining expenses (extra favors, programs, invitations (if you still have them).....)
volunteering to pay the additional expenses actually serves a purpose... to remind your family that each guest is actually an expensive proposition.... not only food, but booze, stationaray, favors, and maybe additional rental fees.... costing hundreds /pp...
thank god our families didn't do that the only thing saving our budget at this point is the low guest headcount!!!
Summer07Bride
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My parents keep wanting to add people . . so far it is pretty much even. They said if they choose to add more they will cover the difference. I figure that sounds good to me
lredhead79
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LOL!!! I actually came on here to post almost the saem thing. I have less then 3 mo to go and the orig. invites are sitting here sealed and stamped and ready to go out and it seems everyday we are adding another 2. Orig list had like 80-90 ppl. Now we are up to 130!!!!!
Bride4Mike07
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Re: Total guests
Spoke to FMIL, we worked things out...no more ppl on her side! LOL But I did tell her that those ppl she wanted to invite will go on B list.
charisma
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we have 175 guest and the highest im going over is 180...glad everything got resolved
brittny817
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Glad you worked it out. To be honest, I wouldn't have stressed it anyway. You will be suprised how many 'No's' you get. I know I and a lot of brides were/are.
But I'm not complaining
LisanAshMay07
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We also wanted to have about 80 people, and we're now up to 135!
butapecan3
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ours was 150 now 167... just hope that at least 15 say no
LyseeH
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I wouldn't worry too much. when my MIL sent out our invites, we had over 70 ppl coming and said they would come. When the day of the wedding came, we had 45 ppl! I was soo thankful!
Writing all those thank you notes hurt my hand, can't imagine if i had 25 more!
portjeffbride
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Re: Total guests
Posted by Bride4Mike07
Spoke to FMIL, we worked things out...no more ppl on her side! LOL But I did tell her that those ppl she wanted to invite will go on B list.
B list, that's a very diplomatic solution! Good idea....
