Tough situation....

I had invited a friend and her husband over for dinner for last Friday evening. It had been planned for about a month. At 2:30pm in the afternoon, we received an email from her husband saying that he was going to have to work late and he's really sorry but they can't make it (he's a lawyer). there was also a voicemail on my cell from her saying she was really sorry, but unfortunately that's just the way it is. Needless to say, my husband was pretty pissed off because we had put effort into buying everything in advance and made plans to get home early. It's not easy to put a dinner party together on a Friday evening with work and all.

Now she's emailed me a few times suggesting dates we could get together, but I'm pretty sure DH doesn't want to have much to do with them...I know he definitely doesn't want to have them over to ours.

How do I get out of this??? I'm not as mad as he is, but I'm a tad annoyed at how nonchalant her message was, and don't know how I would tell her that it would just be me, or say we have to go out to a restaurant...it's all very awkward - and we're not even the one's who should be embarrassed!!!

Wow, that does stink :(
I guess the best is to say the Seb can't make it, but there's 'a great restaurant you have been wanting to try...'
good luck

BTW. I hate people that have no regard for thos of us who plan...it is one of my biggest pet peeves.

I wudl givwe them a 2nd chacne, but make sure it is something conveinent for you.

Mayeb make plans for drinks at a bar or something & make sure it is a plcae that you & Seb would like
to go to even withouth them, in case they ditch.

yea thats annoying- and i know how it is to plan for a dinner party - i bet they had no idea how much you planned. most people who dont plan nice dinner parties dont know the effort involved.
people think that you just throw chicken on the bbq and put out a few chips and thats it.

dh will probably cool off. things like that happen, it was very rude of them to do that but if he had to work late not much you can do about it. id probably just not plan the next time you guys invite them over.

im sure dh will get over it. maybe explain to this couple that you prepared alot and next time you will take in or go out. if they are good friends, dh shouldnt write them off just yet.

good luck!

I'd be annoyed, because even if he did have to work late, why couldn't she have come alone?

I might make plans with them, but only to go out. That way, if they flake on you again, you didn't go to all the trouble.

ETS: She is the one who should be embarrassed, but if she didn't even apologize much for missing the original date, she doesn't get it.

This happened to us last year too...we invited a couple over for a BBQ a week before and the night before we went out and got everything (cheese, meat, sides, etc.). They were suppose to come over at 5 and called at 3 to say they could not make it because they had to go see her mother because her mother could not make the original date. Really pissed me off.....no sorry, just very non-chalant.

I learned my lesson. My advice to you is to make plans with them the next time for a dinner out......that way if they cancel you don't spend the money and it goes to waste.

That stinks...I would give them a second chance...but don't invite them over...maybe make plans to go to dinner - this way if they flake again your not stuck with everything.

Unless this is a habit of theirs (constantly cancelling), I wouldn't hold it against them. If you don't want to have them over, I would suggest going to a restaurant and perhaps say something like 'Friday sounds good but let's plan on going out to eat, I'd hate to have all that food and no one to eat it again.' - sort of laugh it off but get your point across!

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Posted by Soontobekunz

That stinks...I would give them a second chance...but don't invite them over...maybe make plans to go to dinner - this way if they flake again your not stuck with everything.

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Yes, give them dates you are available and ask them to make the reservations at the restaurant. I agree the most annoying part about that is the last minute, non-chalance about it...

People are so wrapped up in themselves. Oh, and if her husband was working late why couldn't she come by herself?

Hmmm, that is a tough one.

I would give her a call and see if you can meet for coffee or something. These things are always done best in person. I would express to her all of the things you mentioned – the time and effort that you put in and money spent on food, etc.

Can’t blame you at all for being pissed. I would be too!

Do they do this to you on a recurring basis? I understand people canceling at the last minute but sometimes it does happen. If they aren't habitual offenders, maybe try letting this one go.
Otherwise, if this is a regular thing for them, just do coffee and desert!