I know what the brides parents traditionally do... (and I am lucky that my parents have offered to pay for the reception, and my grandmother is buying my dress and my parents already said they would help with invitations, throwing us an engagement party---so we are soo incredibly lucky.. we definitely know that 100%) but... I've heard different things about the groom's family.....
I have read all of the websites that give 100 different answers........
but now that my FH and I are in the planning mode.. we are kinda trying to budget out everything other then the RH..... but we don't know if we are getting help from his parents or not......... so we are budgeting things with the expectation of paying for it all.... ourselves........(Photo, Limo, etc.) and then going from there........
Just curious... if you ladies were lucky enough to receive any help........and if so how long did they wait to tell you they would be helping...
Jessie062108
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
we are pretty much paying for everything ourselves....my parents aren't able to offer much help, but my mom is paying for my dress, veil..etc...but we are pretty much doing everything ourselves.. We have been engaged since May...and his side hasn't offered anything...so my advice would be...make your plans without them and hopefully they do offer some help..whenever that is, but don't expect it
lwny427
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
I think that my fil's are paying for the RD (imo, that is tradition) and writing us a check before the wedding to contribute to our expenses. Not positive on this yet.
My parents are paying for the hall. We are paying for everything else (which I now realize is still a whole lot of money!).
SoontobeMrsH
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
My FIL's are so amazinly beyond generous They are basically throwing the wedding, we are so lucky. They covered hospitality, ceremony site fee, officiant fee, all fees attatched w/ ceremony (chuppa, ketuba, yarmukahs, etc), The entire cost of The Met, including the tons of upgrades, and our honeymoon flights. My FILs told FH right after we got engaged.
My mom bought my dress, my veil, shoes, etc. My mom told me after she was crushed I started looking with out her.
We're paying for all wedding stationary, GCM cost, OOTG event cost (softball game, after party, welcome bags, etc), Flowers, DJ, favors, ceremony music, limos, basiclly everything FIL's arn't helping with except my attire...
jtgarsik
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
honestly the only thing the grooms parents are responsible for ettiquette wise is the rehearsal dinner...so if they offer anything other than that be grateful! lol.We paid for everything ourselves with some help from my mom who did what she could. Dh's mom paid for the rehearsal.. i have heard of some paying for the honeymoon, or paying for the photographer or limos but i know they're not obligated to do so. good luck! it doesn't hurt to ask for some help! the worst they can say is no
MattandTricia07
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
My parents are paying for the majority of things and all of those little things we may forget to budget for
Matt and I are paying for our HM, DJ, photographers/video, invitations, favors, rings, gifts
His parents are paying for limos, RD and they also gave my parents some money to put toward the reception.
I think it's really up to what they can afford and want to pay. Good luck!
BNBride60
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
I *think* tradition is for Groom's parents to pay for the RD and for the Groom's attire. I'm not sure what else.
With my FILs, they said they would give us a certain dollar amount and that the RD would come from that amount and so would the ceremony (they're paying for the ceremony b/c I'm not Catholic and FH is and they wanted it in a Church). They said we could use the rest for whatever we wanted. So, we used the rest for the majority of the cost of the bank (FH and I put the original $1,000 down - they picked up the rest), and 1/2 of the photog. They told FH they would do that about 2 weeks post engagement.
HTH!
JoesFutureWife
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
I believe it is just the RD too...
AugustBridein09
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
FIL's are paying for NOTHING...the whole bill is on my dad and FH.
MsPotterhead
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
I don't think traditional laws of etiquette really hold anymore. I think that nowadays, both families contribute what they can, as do the couple. My FFIL is incredibly generous, but he is in a position where he could afford to be. If he couldn't, I'd totally understand and appreciate that.
SparklingBride10
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
Posted by Jessie062108
we are pretty much paying for everything ourselves....my parents aren't able to offer much help, but my mom is paying for my dress, veil..etc...but we are pretty much doing everything ourselves.. We have been engaged since May...and his side hasn't offered anything...so my advice would be...make your plans without them and hopefully they do offer some help..whenever that is, but don't expect it
Same goes for us.
trza17
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
Grooms parents contribute as much as they can. There are no longer rules saying they only pay for RD, officiant etc.
I Love my bear
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
I've been wondering this too, but now I'm not expecting anything...we paid the deposit 50% down for the RD, so all that FH says is that they'll be giving us a 'really nice gift' ?? But I say don't count on anything...!
flairforfashion
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
Etiquette wise- they usually pay for the rehearsal dinner and flowers.
Inkedupkitten
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
Posted by I Love my bear
I've been wondering this too, but now I'm not expecting anything...we paid the deposit 50% down for the RD, so all that FH says is that they'll be giving us a 'really nice gift' ?? But I say don't count on anything...!
My FMIL gave me the best gift....
Not coming........
bluegreen08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
FILs said they expected my parents to pay for everything and that they would do the rehearsal dinner....
Inkedupkitten
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
WOW that seems a bit ballsy of them to say....
donegal419
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
Posted by Jessie062108
we are pretty much paying for everything ourselves....my parents aren't able to offer much help, but my mom is paying for my dress, veil..etc...but we are pretty much doing everything ourselves.. We have been engaged since May...and his side hasn't offered anything...so my advice would be...make your plans without them and hopefully they do offer some help..whenever that is, but don't expect it
This was true for me as well . . . . . FIL did pay for the entire rehearsal dinner for us though, which was very nice as we had about 45 people there. but he's a widower that doesn't really have a clue about etiquette and weddings, so i think if DH's mother was around, they would have been more involved. Also, we didn't ask either... so that might have been part of it as well.
my parents did my dress and veil/shoes/make-up/hair (everything to make the bride beautiful! :) , florist, invites and Dad surprised me with an antique car the day of....
DH and I did everything else. (reception, photo/video, limo, church donation, band, honeymoon, and all the other million little details)
longislandlibrarian
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
My parents are doing the RH and invites... and my grandmother offerd to buy my dress which was the sweetest thing ever! My parents and FH's parents are splitting the engagement dinner.. which we were really happy and surprised because we didn't ask to have one or anything like that.
FH and I Are expecting to pay for everything else, at this point... flowers, limo, dj, photo, video... and if we get anything from his parents we would be thrilled ... but if not we are prepared to pay for the rest
we feel lucky that my parents are paying for the reception which is such a HUGE CHUNK
CKStivan
Posted:
Member since
Re: Traditionally.... Groom's Parents Help with?
If the Brides Parents are paying for EVERYTHING then the Grooms parents pay for the RD and the flowers.
