trial period begins..sso why am I sad?(LONG)

The caregiver I interviewed and spoke about did not get home until 10 last night. (WOW!)
I spoke with her and she will start next wk!
Good thing as I thought she may not take the job since it might not b permanent.

She will call me this wed from her other job and verify what days she will b working for me. I asked her to come next tue and wed as a sort of orientation. She said that sshe realized that she didnt even ask to see the baby's rm when she was here.
So, we willwork with each other next tues and maybe next wed I will be in and out of the house and leave her alone w/ J. I think that I will feel pretty awkward w/ her here while I am here. I mean, when J rests I can show her where everything is and I guess log on to talk to you gals , and do my usual straightening up but with this lady in tow. I dunno- I never was in this type of situation. DO I ask her ok J is now napping please mop my floors...(while I go online or whateer?) uncomfortable but nexessary I guess...to see how she handles things.

my client is throwing a surprise baby shower for her #2 gal on friday the 14th. all of us were invited and the offices are 1/2 hr away from my home. Was thinking of bringing J to the party...and my boss says that it can count as my first day back.
My co-workers, boss have been asking a lot about J and my client would prob expect to see her too, if it was possible. And for a 2 hour party, it IS possible.

Will start to pump today and see how that goes too. I need to start storing BM after all this takes place NEXT WEEK!

hubby is happy we landed her but insits it will be temp..he is set on the JCC in Oceanside and the SOCIALIZATION she will get. I try to tell him that at this age, they play as indiv not as members of a grp..etc but he is hooked on thisplace. I told him that Joanne will b a big help since she will also do SOME housework...but he says- and I agree- we have done it ourselves b4. BUT maybe once we see how things TRULY are, working and coming home to J, the scheduling of things, the wworkloads,etc then we will c what works better...and keep her until J is ONE and then enroll her at JCC. will c.

But i am now starting to get blue...thinking that I will be leaving her to someone else. Hubby didnt help me theis am when he reminded me to get pumping already. He means well but those comments didnt help.


ARGH

Phyl to you! I am still 10 weeks away from my due date and already worrying about pumping when I return to work for a while and all sorts of things, so I can totally feel for you! I'm sure it will all work out but I'm also sure it will be a huge adjustment for all of you. Having not reached this stage yet, I can't offer much advice but I can offer encouragment and support! It sounds like you have a great caregiver so that is reassuring. You will both need some time to get used to each other and since she is so experienced she may just take the lead on some things so you don't have to worry.

Good luck with the pumping. I just bought my Isis back to work pump so I will have it in the house when my time comes. Please keep us posted on how this is going for you as I am stressing myself out about it already!

As far as the JCC, my advice would be to just take everything one day or one week at a time and see how things go. I also don't think that at this age the socialization factor is huge -- there is plenty of time for that!!

again to you! I know how hard it is to think about leaving your baby with someone else.

From friends/family experiences they have told me to expect a few days of crying when you leave th baby. My stepmother said she cried for the first week but after a few days got caught back up into work stuff and that helped. She did call a lot to check in during the first few weeks. So I think you need to give yourself some time to adjust to the change. people always worry about the baby will adjust but honestly, you need to give yourself permission to be sad and out-of-sorts for a while.
I am glad you found someone you trust to help you now. Think of this as a trial period. See how things go and then decide on what to do next. Don't put so much pressure on yourself all at once.
And having the housework help is a huge +++, because instead of mopping you can spend time with the baby when you get home.

I know this doesnt compare, but I left John Anthony at nonna's overnite, and I miss him to pieces !!!
Of course he's having fun and being smothered in affection, and his cousins are over all day...but I MISS HIM !!!!!!!!

I cant wait to go get him ! (I had to get things done for school and I wanted to make sure he was in good hands...so made the 50mile trip to moms!)

Phyl, its totally natural to be sad and to miss her.
Bring a picture of her with you, have that frame ready for your desk
Hugs her lots and lots ! (im sure you do !!!)

even when she's cranky and rying in my ear...hehe.

Just starting the whole pumping thing yesterday. took 20-25 min to pump one breast.(!) accding to what ive read- that is normal...evenutally goes down to 15 min. thats good as I cant c disappearing for 1/2 hr at a clip- 2 or 3 times a day once Im back to work!!

hey= how many times do I pump at work. I was guessing at least 3x...once when I get there, once b4 lunch and once at like 330-4. that seems right...but a lot.

stillsad thinking about this...argh...she has a dr appt today...for shots and I think these are the type that I have to watch that she doesnt get a fever