Truely losing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the second Sunday in a row my FH and I have had an argument. Mainly b/c of him not doing anything to help me with the wedding and in general. My mom, my FH and I sat down with someone who was going to make our invitations. ALl he did was complain the no one paid attention to him at all. Mean while I was sitting right next to him asking him what he thought. I have tried SO hard to stay away from pinks since I know he doesn't like it. I feel like I've been doing it all and sacrificing things I like to make sure he is OK. But not to be vain...What About me!? I asked him to help me with one non-wedding related thing today and he told me NO. It wasn't something that was going to take more than 2 minutes. Wasn't going to interrupt his superbly! I'm SO fustraited and fearful that this is what the rest of my life is going to be like! I told him that maybe he shouldn't come over on SUnday's anymore since we seem to be developing a pattern of fighting. I truly have been doing it all myself at this point. He had 1 task and that was to book our 2 nights at the hotel where our wedding is being held...it's Still an incomplete task from September! I went to our Travel agent for help on Honeymoon...she said find where you want to go and the package and I'll give you a better price and book it! Yet one more thing I have to do on my own. FH said he emailed a travel agent someone knows but has not heard back from. I truly feel like this wedding is destroying us. More SO me. I'm an emotional mess trying to please everyone. I'm SO stressed and fed up I just want to leave invitations in his hands...which would happen if I thought people would actually get invitations!! He left my house and I didn't even walk him to the door which is what I do everytime he leaves. I'm so upset and stressed! I need to get out of this rut! I'm sitting here in tears for the second Sunday. I can't do this every week!!!

I'm so sorry you are going through this.. I hope it gets better for you!!

But I can't give you any advice because my FH is totally opposite and we fight more about him being too involved! Like even with going to the florist. lol So sometimes I wish he wasn't involved, but I guess that can get annoying too! It seems like a lose/lose situation either way!

It sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on both of you to do things on Sundays regarding the wedding and that it's just too much stress. I'm so sorry you're going through this!!!!

My DH was not that involved in the whole wedding planning process, but I was ok with that. He lived far away while we were planning and when we did get together, he didn't want to spend all our time talking about wedding details. They just didn't matter to him that much.

When he did have an opinion, though, I tried to honor it and do what he asked. When there were some things I was trying to decide, I'd give him 2 or 3 choices and ask his opinion and then use whatever he came up with. I picked the flowers myself -- he did not care at all! When I chose colors, I picked my favorite purple but then also a very light green so when we went for tuxes, he was able to choose a green that matched and wasn't too girly.

As for our invites, I went with a very plain, classic white border invites. It was just easier that way.



As for you and your FH, my suggestion is stop trying to make Sunday all about the wedding planning. Go out on a date together. Try to do as much as you can during the week through emails and whatnot.

Since he doesn't seem to have the drive to accomplish the tasks you ask him to do, find out what he wants to do and give him those to accomplish. My DH's responsibility was to find a photographer and make our appointment with him. That would out fabulous for us! I basically did everything else.

Sit down and make a list of the next steps you have in your process. Also sit down and make a list of all the reasons you love your FH and what excites you most about your future together. Do not include the wedding in that list -- just think about everything else for a little bit.

Present him with the second list first. Tell him you love him and that you are sorry you are so stressed but just how much you want everyone to enjoy your wedding as much as you both will. Explain that it's important to you because to you it means the beginning of your future together and you want to set the tone for your life with the perfect celebration that you both will enjoy and look back on as an amazing memory. Ask him if he wants to be involved, and to what extent (and you can pull out the second list to show him what's left to be done). At that point, you can ask him to pick one or two things he thinks would be 'fun' to do, and those can be his tasks. Maybe he wants to go buy you the garter, or maybe he's got ideas for what to get the groomsmen as presents. Or maybe he really just wants to sit back and relax until the wedding day comes.

Either way, you have a lot of support and help around you and you will get to your wedding day and it'll be perfect and magical, and you shouldn't worry about every day getting everything done, especially not together if that's going to rip you apart.

You can be excited about every checkmark -- enjoy your wedding planning process. Tell all of us on LIW every single step of the way! Ask our opinions, complain to us, etc!!!!! That is the best thing about this forum!!!!!!!!!!!

No one will ever care as much about your wedding as you do. Even your FH. But no one will ever care as much about YOU and your life together as you and your FH. They do not correlate.

Take some deep breaths and get ready for valentine's day next week. Make sure to have some non-wedding-planning dates in your future, and things will be fine!

Good luck!!! HUGS!!!!!!!!

I'm so sorry your going through this.
I suggest talking things out when everyone is calm. Does he know how you feel? Sometimes guys don't know how important some things are unless we tell them.

Although you weren't asking much from him today, maybe he had superbowl fever. It's one of those days where men tune EVERYTHING out!!! I asked FH to put on Rich Bride, Poor Bride on and he kept wanting to watch ESPN....THE SUPERBOWL WAS ALREADY OVER!!!!
He had to watch post game coverage.

Feel free to FM me if you want to talk.