...my FMIL is trying to trash our wedding! First, she tells my FH that her niece HAS to be in the BP. I do not get along with this particular person, so I told her no. Then she tells my FH that it is tacky to have a Black & Ivory color scheme. Then she freaks because I am not wearing a white wedding dress. NOW she is trying to convince him that we cannot use the hall that we booked b/c it is too far away from the church - and she has the nerve to tell us it is too expensive (we are paying for this ourselves!) On top of all this, she never congratulated us....ever ...and she has the nerve to ask me if I am buying her anything for Mother's Day!! I think she's lost her mind!
I am begining to wonder if I want to be a part of his family! I cannot get this woman off my back!
HearzBellz
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Re: Trying not to freak...but (long vent)
Jan, I feel you.... I really know what you mean. I always heard these horror stories about FMIL's that are jealous b/c their wives 'take away thier sons,' but FH & I have known each other for 15 years....she should have spoken up sooner if she didn't 'approve!' I really thought they would be happy. Ironically, his cousins & 2nd & 3rd cousins are totally psyched for our wedding! Go Figure!
hugs for you
JoRo
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Re: Trying not to freak...but (long vent)
HearzBellz, since you are definitely not getting enough of this, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! hey, you are engaged! yeah after 15 years! how exciting! that is terrific!!
please try to remember that part. And clearly, since you are having an Ivory and Black wedding, I can tell you have WONDERFUL taste!! you are going to make such a beautiful bride! just keep remembering that and remembering how much you love you FH and he loves you, and literally forget everybody else!
I started this last Thanksgiving when we scheduled our wedding for April (yup, 5 months that is it !). It is called ZEN wedding planning. The most important part is to remember your top three responses: a Big Fat smile, 'Okay, sounds good', and 'Not sure, I'll get back to you on that'
and then you go and do what you want!! the bottom line, everybody will have a say. but NOBODY else is getting married. you are. and you are the only person in the world for whom this is the most important day in the world. everyone will be happy if you are happy!! trust me. if you are smiling it is contagious, even for controlling FMILs!!
so please, just keep doing what you want and don't let your FMIL get to you. whatever it takes to yes her to death, but try to let her insensitive comments roll right off of you. i don't think she disapproves of you, i think it is just hard for her to respect that you have your own opinions. plus, she is not the center of attention, and that is hard. Sometimes when things are really good, some people cannot stand it and they have to try to create drama. Just try not to take it personally!! And of course, keep coming on here and venting!!!!!! Good luck!!
Rob-luvs-me
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Re: Trying not to freak...but (long vent)
you have FM
bride2be2004
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Re: Trying not to freak...but (long vent)
hugs and more hugs some fmil's see green when their sons get married! what do they expect their sons to be joined at their hip forever?? i think not. it's like the saying 'sons are sons until they get a wife, daughters are daughters all of their life' she shouldn't try to battle for his attention. but it is what it is. try to ignore her and be glad that fi is supportive of you. imagine what it would be like if he wasn't. stand firm and know that your day will turn out just as you want it too! also remember that it must be harder for fi. he must feel bad and ashamed at the way his family is behaving. i'm sure it hurts his feelings. it's his day as well. try to support him too. all the best!
eternityawaits
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Re: Trying not to freak...but (long vent)
OMG my FILS are just as bad I thought i was the only one!
eternityawaits
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Re: Trying not to freak...but (long vent)
oh yeah.. remember this quote 'Thank you for sharing'
ironically enough my FMIL told me to use that on people who are getting on my nerves or saying nasty comments and now I find myself using it more on her!
