TTC / New home dilema

While frank and I are actively TTC , we also are in the begining stages of buying a home. Now frank is concerned about money and what not and thinks that maybe it would be best to put off TTC for a little while. I am not sure how I feel about this since I have been getting so used to the idea of having a baby now.

Anyone else been in this situation or is in this situation?

Thanks
Sue

Sue
I can relate to how you are feeling
DH and I bought our house 2 years ago and right after we moved in I was getting antsy to 'fill' our home but Dh was not ready to and alot had to do with the fact that when you buy a new home not only are you taking on a

- down payment( most likely using a large portion of your existing savings)

-mortgage (more often than not larger montly payments than you were previously paying)

-furniture (depending on how much you need-- we spent over $20K)

-bills- higher bills in general (utilities, credit card purchase for all those trips to home depot, etc)

and then all the 'toys' he will need to buy to maintain your house--even if you buy a house in perfect condition ( we did) you still need tons of 'stuff' to fill the garage and shed

so with all that being said it is much easier to say let's wait-- doesn't mean you have to but it makes sense as to why he might want to

With us-- we paid off everything we bought and started TTC--- it wasn't exactly a conscious thought but that is the way it worked out and it makes me feel so much better about the whole situation--so now we are actually saving money each month whereas for the first year- year to half we were constantly buying tons of stuff

Now we have been TTC for 8 months- I guess i should really say 9 Ugh-- but we are in a much better place financially and just house wise since everything we wanted to do is pretty much done---and now I am dying to do a nursery!!!!!!!

Ok enough rambling --HTH a bit---but of course everyone is different and once you are ready to start it is hard to wait--

I really wanted to start last Oct and waited a bit and now that we are trying i am really ready!!!!!

Laura

Suzanne, I can see how you feel about wanting a baby and I can see and feel for you in knowing how the men want to ALWAYS be financially secure to start ANYTHING.

I think that if you feel that you are in a decent financial situation, you dont need the house with the picket fence and everything done, before you TTC. After all, we never know how long it will take us to TTC. so we cant count on and plan things to the month or day.

If this is something that will stress him if you try to talk him into it, thats not good either, because neither of you should be stressed or feel pressured into it.

I agree that YES, theres a time and place in life where you are ready or not ready for a baby. But you cant plan it down to a tee. I think if you 'see what happens' and maybe not chart and think about it so hard, maybe it will happen and everything will fall into place. I hate to sound like Im saying 'who cares what else is going on' but in a way, if its around the time frame of when you want to have a baby, you can start trying, and maybe you'll get preggo just after you move in
I just think men feel the pressure financially more than anything and want everything to be perfect.
Thats a GOOD sign that Frank wants to take GOOD care of his family and he's a good hubby but sometimes they also need a little 'shove' or a hug saying 'we'll be fine honey' from the wife

I hope it all works out

Thank you so much girls.... I think frank is just scared because we never owned anything this expensive and his father is being no Help at all, constantly telling him 'I hope you can do this' ' Are you sure you can do this' so I guess hearing that alot would make anyone worry..

Thank you again girls..

Im sure you can handle it financially. I would worry about settling into your house and continue to TTC, because I know you have been stressing over it. So the less you stress over the baby thing it will just happen. I know it will

I think the two of you can handle it financially, but I think you should worry about settling into your new home, and still continue to TTC, then it will happne.
I'm rooting for you