In case you don't remember, I had a late miscarriage almost 3 weeks ago (Original Post)... thanks to all of you for showing so much support & sending your prayers; it helped a lot! Hope you understand that I hadn't responded more on that post, because I didn't want to BUMP.
Anyway, my question is about TTC? I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Sometimes I feel like I want to TTC immediately (to get right back into the maternal mentality), and sometimes I feel guilty thinking that I'm not honoring our lost child (should wait at least until after the due date). What would you do, and what do you think?
lilmrs
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Re: TTC --- What would you do?
I have had quite a few m/c...for me I always wanted to start again as soon as I could. I honor each loss in my own silent way, but I needed something to be happy about and look forward to. I think this is somehting that every person is going to answer differently on, it's completly a personal decision.
chichila15
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Re: TTC --- What would you do?
Posted by lilmrs I think this is somehting that every person is going to answer differently on, it's completly a personal decision.
I know... but I guess what I'd like to know is if it's normal to feel guilty.... or feel selfish in wanting to satisfy that maternal instinct.
I think I feel that itch to try again, but I'm still consumed with guilt... which makes me think that I'm not ready. However, how do I even know that the guilt will go away, ya know?
jcndd
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Re: TTC --- What would you do?
I waited 2 cycles even though I wanted to try right away again. There is ALWAYS guilt over a mc I believe, everyone feels it in different degrees. The main thing is to let your emotions out and let your body heal. I don't think if you decided to TTC right away that that would take away from your last baby at all. You'll always remember that baby - it's just when you get PG again, you'll be bringing a part of him into the world!
kakarch
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Re: TTC --- What would you do?
that is so touching that you feel that way....i know i would want to start right away.
it's up in the air right now if i am going to m/c or not (i am going thru testing) but i know that if i do, i will start ttc again asap.
you will always remember your baby no matter what and although nothing can take away from the pain of that loss, i think ttc again will help you to move on and will give you something to look foward to again.
do what's in your heart....
brideinapril
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Re: TTC --- What would you do?
Posted by chichila15
Posted by lilmrs I think this is somehting that every person is going to answer differently on, it's completly a personal decision.
I know... but I guess what I'd like to know is if it's normal to feel guilty.... or feel selfish in wanting to satisfy that maternal instinct.
I think I feel that itch to try again, but I'm still consumed with guilt... which makes me think that I'm not ready. However, how do I even know that the guilt will go away, ya know?
It is totally normal to feel everything your feeling - you are not being selfish at all. Like Lilmrs said each person is different, and if you are getting the itch to try again than that is what you should do. It doesn't mean that you are going to forget about your loss, you sound like a very strong person and I applaud you for wanting to jump back in and try again.
btrflygrl
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Re: TTC --- What would you do?
we M/C in december and I didn't physically recover until the end of Jan into Feb when I got AF. DH had said he wanted to wait until we had a house, then we agreed the summer would be ideal to try as I'd deliver near the end of the school year next year.....
we talked and felt ready now and it's been2 1/2 months since the miscarriage
Sunny
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Re: TTC --- What would you do?
I think you have to grieve in your own way- but should by no means feel guilty.
I think I would want to start trying again right away. Good luck to you!
chichila15
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Re: TTC --- What would you do?
Thanks ladies for the support. I definitely feel the itch, but would like to wait, at least until I get AF again... to calm my nerves about my uterus working properly.
I also have to get that guilt out of my head. Regardless of when we have kids, I will always remember our lil boy, and know in my heart that what happened wasn't my decision, or under my control. Had everything gone the way it was planned, I'd be loving & caring for him just the same as I would any others.
I think I'm going to give the TTC part a little more thought.... like I said, at least until AF... which could come in 1-3 weeks from now.
