-- If your dog has apparently killed an opossum, don't pick up said opossum since it may just be playing possum and you will end up with a shredded hand/arm and need to be treated for rabies. #LFMF -- If you see an eyelash on someone's face who you aren't that close with, don't ever try to wipe it away. They will flinch and your finger will go up their nose. #LFMF -- After getting your video camera back after loaning it for a group of teen girls at a church youth event and you burn CDs for the participants, do not label it 'High School Girls.' People will get the wrong idea. #LFMF -- When teaching your wife to drive in a parking lot, do not assume that the person outline on the ground is just a prank. Checking the news later will reveal otherwise. #LFMF -- -- (416):
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment. -- (251):
Is there a card that says 'Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas'? -- (630):
i was so ****** up i thought i was at home depot ----- Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said 'Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings.' FML -- Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML -- the end
AwaitingAugust
Posted:
Member since
Re: Tuesday Funnies (12/14/10)
lots of good ones today ... that first one (cat jumps on yoga person's crotch) made me LOL though
dctead
Posted:
Member since
Re: Tuesday Funnies (12/14/10)
Dont know which I made me laugh more... Take the Baby out of the Freezer.... or Ugly people dont have feelings!!
Im_My_Own_Princess
Posted:
Member since
Re: Tuesday Funnies (12/14/10)
its slow at work.. so i'll add somemore that were added later in the day:
Let’s see….requisite Ben Dover joke…something about football…something about the look on the groomman’s (or groom’s?) face…something about the lunchbox and the empty bottle of rose….The End. Confusing and amusing, FTW. That’s all I got, folks. The submitter says: “The bride and groom are driven from the wedding to the recption by the Chick-fil-A car with large CFA Cow. CFA did this for them for free because they met at a CFA, the bride met her future in-laws at a CFA and they got engaged at a CFA. No, the reception was not catered by Chick-fil-A.” All I have to say about that is that A) If you haven’t had Chick-fil-A, I am very sorry. It’s one of the only fast food chains that I consider to have real food. Tasty food. *and* B) I’m deeply saddened to hear that Chick-fil-A didn’t cater! No giant chicken nuggets platter? No Polynesian sauce?? FOR SHAME! -- If you must swat a bee and kill it, resist the temptation to handle it afterward. 'Dead bees still sting' is not an old wives' tale. #LFMF -- A snow blower will happily drag you down the driveway and out into the street if you release only the auger control and expect the snow blower to stop moving. #LFMF -- -- Today I went over to welcome this new couple to our subdivision with a bottle of wine and muffins. I told them I liked what they were doing with the place, then asked them when they had moved in. They replied 'two years ago.' FML -- (330):
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he 'doesnt want to be dehydrated' tomorrow. youre in charge. -- (440):
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks -- the end end
