Two engagement parties??

So FH and I went to a family event this weekend (his family) and realized not only how big our families are but how different they are as well. My family is laid back, simple and more blue collar. His family is opulent and all about glitz and glamor.
His aunt and uncle actually came up to us and gave us a card for our engagement. We thanked them but also mentioned we're planning an engagement party and that please they don't need to give us yet another gift then. (It's really nice of them but we felt bad because we know they aren't in the best financial situation now).

Anyway, to cut to the chase. Our families are VERY different and also very large. I own a house but my yard is pretty small and the inside is also on the small size. Hence accommodating cousins, aunts and uncles from both sides of the family seems almost impossible to do.

So we came up with the idea of two separate engagement parties. One for my family, another one for his. We said we would invite the immediate family (parents and siblings) to both but my extended family to one and then another for his extended family.
We think getting all of them together at my house on a single day would be too much.
His family would probably think my family is loud and crazy and my family that his family is snooty and boring!!
What do you girls think? Is that a crazy idea??
I also told him that maybe we should host it at the park that way we all have plenty of space and he didn't seem happy with that idea. What do you think?

I liked the fact that our families got meet & mingle. It was nice for not only our parents & grandparents to meet but also our siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins!

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Posted by FutureMrsCat050412

I liked the fact that our families got meet & mingle. It was nice for not only our parents & grandparents to meet but also our siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins!

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I liked this too! Both our families got to meet and they all got along so well. Our eparty was so much fun!!

I don't think it is crazy, you have a to do what works best for you two. Is it mandatory that you have everyone at the e party? The reason I ask is, FH and I both have huge families, so we made the decision to limit to immediate family and first cousins only. No one under the age of 18 and only bridal party as far as inviting friends.

I'm going to talk to FH again. Maybe inviting just his aunts and uncles and his cousin on his mom side of the family and my immediate family to the park is better. It just gives both of us a headache thinking about having everyone together at my home since it's small and they are like night and day.
The cousins (some of them) on his dad side of the family ARE snooty and having our party at the park will cause them to talk. Every time they have parties they get them catered and have maids picking things up second after you're done. If we have it at my house they'll judge every detail of the party, not something I want. I also have very loud cousins and having the loud part of my family and the snooty part of his family together, oh no, please!!!
The wedding is different because we have more space and you have music to keep people entertained. We went as far to as to say we didn't want an Eparty at all and that's when the two parties idea was born.

I think that you should have both families present. This way they both get to mingle and things won't feel awkward at the wedding where one side is sticking to theirs and the other to theirs. This is your family and whether they are loud and partyers this is your family and you shouldn't feel weird to have your FH's side of the family see that b/c eventually they will see it at the wedding. If his cousin's are snotty and you feel they will judge, oh well as long as they keep it to themselves and don't disrespect anyone especially anyone from your family.

Just my opinion.

I spoke to FH at lunch and we're thinking the park idea might be the best option to accomodate the size of our families without breaking the bank. He doesn't think his cousins will come because that's not up to what they expect but I told him that's their loss.
This is supposed to be about us coming together and if they choose to miss then so be it.
We just got to wait for the weather to be nicer and hope it doesn't rain on the day we choose.... That's why he didn't want a park, oh well, let's hope!