SO - FMIL is amazing and decided a while ago that she would buy the china and waterford wine glasses for me and FH for my shower gift. So we picked out the china and everything and she found them on another website for a lot cheaper so got them for us even though my shower's not for a while.
So the other day I was over there and I asked her how many she got - and she said 8. I didn't say anything b/c i didn't want to be rude or seem ungrateful, but aren't you supposed to have 12 place settings?
SO - now what do I do? Do I ask her to buy 4 more place settings and 4 more wine glasses to complete the set? Or should I just put it on my registry? Either way I feel like I'm being rude, but I dunno what to do and I don't want to be stuck without a full set of china someday. Plus, this stuff is so expensive, and she's already spent enough as it is...
What do you ladies think I should do? ughhhh
FutureMrsJC
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Re: Ugh - china question
I would put them on the registry. Did you have them on there originally (was there a way for her to know that you actually wanted 12)? If so, then she probably figured she would get you what she could afford, and a lot of people only get 8.
If she actually just did not know you wanted 12, you can put the other four on, and just mention to her that you were thinking about it and you think for down the road, you guys will want 12 so you added 4 to the registry, but that you are so happy that you are all set for now with the 8 to start.
dCa51899
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Re: Ugh - china question
hmmmm thats a lil rough, i see what you're saying about feeling rude in either case, but I'd probably just add 4 to the registry - is she computer savvy? like will she be checking your registry online? I know my FMIL was shocked that you can even do that, she doesn't really use the computer
but that is seriously amazing that she got you 8 settings already!!!!!!!
Tromsugar2b
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Re: Ugh - china question
eh, i would kind of just leave it alone.....i think it would be awkward trying to explain that you wanted 12 place settings and not just 8 when someone buys you one for your shower! ....i got 8 from my shower and that is moreee than enough for the time being....plus thats only 4 more you have to buy yourself....I honestly think she probably didnt realize you're supposed to have 12 and just wasn't thinking about it.....the only other option besides ignoring it I think would be to have FH broach the subject...but he must feel comfortable doing so ............maybe he can just be like 'oh so you bought the twelve place settings for the shower?' and she'll be like 'no 8' and then he can say 'oh i thought it was supposed to be 12'--- and play dumb boy and see what happens?
pjc92980
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Re: Ugh - china question
i would just leave it alone...maybe add 4 more to your registry if you really want them
FutureMrsJC
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Re: Ugh - china question
You could also add the four more and just casually mention as it gets closer to the shower/wedding you guys decided to add four more because you wanted to make sure there were enough gifts on the registry, and you figured you can always use more china!
Soon2BMrsJoeBear
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Re: Ugh - china question
yeaaaa - i'm so torn guys! ok - i think maybe what i'll do is leave it alone for now, and then with the gift money (or gift cards) i'll buy them from BB&B with the registry completion program... that way i get a discount and it's not awkward for her at the shower or anything...
then after the fact i can say like 'oh, a lot of my friends did 12, so i got extras just in case'
think that's a good idea?
Soon2BMrsJoeBear
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Re: Ugh - china question
Posted by FutureMrsJC
You could also add the four more and just casually mention as it gets closer to the shower/wedding you guys decided to add four more because you wanted to make sure there were enough gifts on the registry, and you figured you can always use more china!
ooh that's a good idea! i can also add them to the registry after the shower in case someone wants to buy a gift off the registry for the actual wedding...
thanks ladies!
dCa51899
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Re: Ugh - china question
that sounds like a perfect solution! then you dont have to worry about any awkwardness
or u can say just in case they break, you want to have back-ups
SoonToBeMrsFox
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Re: Ugh - china question
my mom only bought us 8 place settings too.
my mom is throwing my shower and the china was expensive, so i was excited to get that many at all.
i have the other 4 place settings and all of the china accessories on my registry.
Soon2BMrsJoeBear
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Re: Ugh - china question
Posted by SoonToBeMrsFox
my mom only bought us 8 place settings too.
my mom is throwing my shower and the china was expensive, so i was excited to get that many at all.
i have the other 4 place settings and all of the china accessories on my registry.
i honestly think she just didn't know your supposed to get 12... i really think she thought 8 was the right number... so i feel so weird putting the rest on my registry, you know?
IrishAli
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Re: Ugh - china question
That is nice of her, but if you want 12, I'd just add them
Thank her for the 8, and just say that you thought about it, and thought that a setting for 12 would be best
If she gets offended, she can go get the other 4 for you
MNM0805
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Re: Ugh - china question
There's no set rule saying you need 12. We registered for 8 place settings and received them all for our engagement party.
Just add the 4 to the registry and if she says anything, tell her you guys wanted 4 more just to be safe.
nikki41579
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Re: Ugh - china question
My FMIL did the same thing! I just added the other 4 settings to my registry.
Moonmist09
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Re: Ugh - china question
i would just add 4 more to the registry and not even bring it up. if someone buys you soome as a gift and she asks, let her know that you added the 4 because you wanted a 12 piece setting and that you appreciate the 8 piece setting she already got you
Soon2bMrsB91511
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Re: Ugh - china question
Yea, I'd just add it to the reg.
I don't think 8 is a big deal. But then again, FH and I aren't big 'entertainers' so we'd be more than ok with as few as 6 place settings.
It's not polite to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I certainly wouldn't bring it up to her--especially since she was nice enough to buy it for you in the first place.
AugustFeather
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Re: Ugh - china question
I would definitely NOT say a word. I think 8 is very generous of her.. wether she thinks you want 8, 10, 50... doesn't matter. I think she did a very decent amount at her own discretion. If you really want more, I would personally just buy the rest at some point down the line. It is a gift, so I really don't think I would feel great about telling someone how many of such and such an item to get me.. IMHO!
