ugh. FH just got into a huge fight.

I heard our housemate upstairs cursing out loud, so I went upstairs to see what happened and he told me my dog pooped on the floor. he proceeds to mumble 'not a ******* good way to wake up in the morning...mumble mumble **** mumble' he then stomps downstairs, takes a hit stomps upstairs mumbles out the side door and slams the door behind him and drives off. so I get pissed off and call FH to tell him that if our housemate (his best friend and our best man) has a problem he needs to come out and say it instead of stomping around, mumbling curses and slamming doors. I tell him I'm not gonna stand for that disrespect and be treated that way and that I'm leaving the house because I don't want to be around when housemate gets back.

FH tells me to stop freaking out, calm down and stay put and he will handle it. he calls housemate and then calls me back and says its handled but tells me its my fault because I was on the computer in the basement and our housemate isn't responsible for cleaning up after our dog. understandable....BUT I WAS IN THE FRIGGIN BASEMENT!!! *** do I have psychic powers to know my dog was pooping upstairs...all he had to do was be like 'mel your dog pooped can u clean it up'. problem solved. but basically FH and housemate feel i should have walked her before getting on my computer. she is on a schedule and doesn't regularly go out around that time because nobody is usually home around that time of day. and she usually cries when she has to go and she didn't...but yet it's my fault because you know...I have ultimate control over my dogs arsehole. so because FH said this to me I got highly offended and said if our housemates really feel that way then I'm out of the house. I used to have my own apartment and never had to deal with all this drama and bull...so FH makes a comment and says 'well he's ACTUALLY GOING OUT looking for a job' as u all know I am also job hunting. he made it seem like 'you should be doing the same' so I flew off the handle and started yelling 'i have an effing job, in fact my job pays for this house and everything in it and don't you ever forget it!' it just totally blew up and now I'm crying, my throat is sore...and FH calls me back all calm trying to be chipper like 'HIIIIII HONEY, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!' i am just soooooooo not in the mood for playing 'chipper' right now.

did I fly off the handle?

I would have done the same!

try to calm down then talk to him again. how he was out of line telling u its ur fault because it really wasnt... I feel like ur housemate has no right in saying its ur fault or cursing and running out like that.. that is very wrong.. all he really had to do was tell you to clean it up... and it is also wrong of ur FH to yell at u about the job part... he should not have mentioned that because u are obviously trying!!

I hope everything works out well for you

I dont think it was your fault. Dogs poop, you cant always know when. All he had to do was tell you he pooped, and you would have cleaned him up.
As far as the comment FH made, I would have flown off the handle too. Im currently looking for a job and if he came out of his face and said that to me, Id be offended. I dont know about you, but its a very sensitive subject for me because when Im not contributing to my household, I feel horrible. He knows youre looking for jobs so t hat wasnt right. At least hes trying to make peace though. Sorry youre dealing with this.

Wow I been in a very similar situation a few years back only this one had a drinking problem and would get nasty. I think you are more offended by the way the housemate reacted (you felt disrespected) and that FH should have defended you more. I would let this situation go for now . You said your peace and if the housemate persists with commments and rudeness again then I would really sit down and talk with FH about it and tell him to take a standing and approach him. I'm not saying to fight with your housemate but he should know when to draw the line and stop (maybe he is too comfortable with living there). Take a breather and try not to argue with fh over it. ( I know sometimes it is diffficult because they just dont get it).

---

Posted by KitWisdom

Hm, I don’t know. I think his comment about you not looking for a job wasn’t right but I’m really sensitive about dog and poop issues because I’ve gone through that with my sister and FH. I’ve been on both sides: the one who cleaned up the poop of another’s dog, and the one who someone else cleaned the poop up for (did that even make sense? lol). In that way, I definitely know how your housemate felt, and I just know that I probably would have reacted the same way. But I do think he shouldn’t have brought the looking for a job thing into it, that just seemed kinda mean. JMO.

---

yeah, I could understand him being annoyed too...but I didn't know the poop existed and as soon as i did I started mopping the area n picking up anything he missed. I always clean up after my dog and truthfully my dog is very good about letting us know when she has to go out and we take her. but I just think instead of picking it up and then complaining about picking it up...just bring it to my attention and I'll handle it.

---

Posted by Soon2beAlberti

---

Posted by KitWisdom

Hm, I don’t know. I think his comment about you not looking for a job wasn’t right but I’m really sensitive about dog and poop issues because I’ve gone through that with my sister and FH. I’ve been on both sides: the one who cleaned up the poop of another’s dog, and the one who someone else cleaned the poop up for (did that even make sense? lol). In that way, I definitely know how your housemate felt, and I just know that I probably would have reacted the same way. But I do think he shouldn’t have brought the looking for a job thing into it, that just seemed kinda mean. JMO.

---

yeah, I could understand him being annoyed too...but I didn't know the poop existed and as soon as i did I started mopping the area n picking up anything he missed. I always clean up after my dog and truthfully my dog is very good about letting us know when she has to go out and we take her. but I just think instead of picking it up and then complaining about picking it up...just bring it to my attention and I'll handle it.

---

I don’t know, there’s something about dog poop that just makes people act crazy, lol! My dog actually had a stomache the other night and I woke up yesterday morning to three nice presents. I was in a bad mood the rest of the day. The worst thing is I was going to be late for work and the stain wasn’t all gone yet, so I asked my dad (who works from home for a few hours and just hangs the rest of the time) to take a look at it later and help out. Come home, and he’s done nothing!

Oh, and this is the best—once, when my dog was a pup, he had an accident in the living room in the evening. My dad saw it before he went to sleep (I was already in bed) but he left it there so I could find it myself the next morning!

---

Posted by mariaobride

Wow I been in a very similar situation a few years back only this one had a drinking problem and would get nasty. I think you are more offended by the way the housemate reacted (you felt disrespected) and that FH should have defended you more. I would let this situation go for now . You said your peace and if the housemate persists with commments and rudeness again then I would really sit down and talk with FH about it and tell him to take a standing and approach him. I'm not saying to fight with your housemate but he should know when to draw the line and stop (maybe he is too comfortable with living there). Take a breather and try not to argue with fh over it. ( I know sometimes it is diffficult because they just dont get it).

---

yeah you hit it on the nose...It was about disrespect...and I even mentioned to FH that I felt like with his comment they were both attacking me for something i had no control over and that FH needed to let him know that he cannot just slam doors and curse or stomp around especially when its directed at me. It's not fair for me to have to live in an environment where our housemate thinks its acceptable to disrespect me this way.

also I have very very high pride...and if my housemates are going to talk about me like I'm some sort of pig who doesn't clean up after my dog...I'll just leave and get my own place again. thats how I am. I even told FH this. I refuse to be the subject of the house.

i think you reacted fine i think it's very unfair that you're being blamed for the unplanned bowel movement of a dog. what if you weren't home and the dog pooped? would it still be your fault?? and the crappy comment about the job, well that just wasn't right.

hope everything gets worked out

---

Posted by Soon2beAlberti

---

Posted by mariaobride

Wow I been in a very similar situation a few years back only this one had a drinking problem and would get nasty. I think you are more offended by the way the housemate reacted (you felt disrespected) and that FH should have defended you more. I would let this situation go for now . You said your peace and if the housemate persists with commments and rudeness again then I would really sit down and talk with FH about it and tell him to take a standing and approach him. I'm not saying to fight with your housemate but he should know when to draw the line and stop (maybe he is too comfortable with living there). Take a breather and try not to argue with fh over it. ( I know sometimes it is diffficult because they just dont get it).

---

yeah you hit it on the nose...It was about disrespect...and I even mentioned to FH that I felt like with his comment they were both attacking me for something i had no control over and that FH needed to let him know that he cannot just slam doors and curse or stomp around especially when its directed at me. It's not fair for me to have to live in an environment where our housemate thinks its acceptable to disrespect me this way.

---

Thinking about it more, I don’t think you overreacted more. I was just thinking of how much I dislike dog poop I guess, lol. But it’s not right that you’re being disrespected, at all.

I don't think you overreacted. I would have totally been mad if FH said something like that to me!

I know you want to stay out of the way of your housemate, and I don't really know the relationship you two have or what kind of person he is...but do you think it would be helpful for you to approach him and say you're sorry that there was an accident this morning but you're trying to keep the dog on a schedule? Or maybe let him know you understand that having to clean up after the dog this morning did not put him in a great mood but next time if he calls out to you to let you know there was an accident you'd be happy to clean it up yourself? If you approach him calmly maybe it'll show him that you feel bad and you'd be willing to clean up if it happens again...and then you can add that you'd appreciate it if he talked to you about any issues he has rather than cursing and slamming doors.

I wonder if you talking to him alone would be better so that (since FH seems to be taking the housemate's side) you won't feel like it's a two against one argument and you can just go straight to the source. Then when FH comes home you can pull him aside and talk to him about those job searching comments.

Good luck!!!