Ugh, FSIL/Bachelorette drama...

Well, not really drama, just annoying. So I wanted to go to Fire Island for my Bachelorette and there was one particular weekend that worked for mostly everyone, so my sister sent out an email with the date and all. So FSIL writes back that she can't make it that weekend because she has to work. Listen, I understand the importance of working, but come on...it is 4 MONTHS away, FIGURE IT OUT! She works at a retail store, I am sure someone can fill in for her. Besides...who knows their schedule 4 months in advance??? She just loves to be difficult. So now we're going to have to change the entire plan for her since the weekend we wanted to do was basically the last weekend we could do Fire Island. So now we're changing to AC, which will be fun too, but I am just SO annoyed. I am just tempted to say, sorry this is the weekend we're going to do it, DEAL. But, I know FH would want her there, soo...ONCE AGAIN the world revolves around FSIL.

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Posted by Cacarina

Well, not really drama, just annoying. So I wanted to go to Fire Island for my Bachelorette and there was one particular weekend that worked for mostly everyone, so my sister sent out an email with the date and all. So FSIL writes back that she can't make it that weekend because she has to work. Listen, I understand the importance of working, but come on...it is 4 MONTHS away, FIGURE IT OUT! She works at a retail store, I am sure someone can fill in for her. Besides...who knows their schedule 4 months in advance??? She just loves to be difficult. So now we're going to have to change the entire plan for her since the weekend we wanted to do was basically the last weekend we could do Fire Island. So now we're changing to AC, which will be fun too, but I am just SO annoyed. I am just tempted to say, sorry this is the weekend we're going to do it, DEAL. But, I know FH would want her there, soo...ONCE AGAIN the world revolves around FSIL.

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I'd tell her its the only date that works for everyone else and can she see if she can move around her schedule that week? Otherwise, you'll miss her!

Im really sorry sweetie, I can totally relate. Im going thru the SAME THING with my FSIL.. but she got her mom and step mom and friend to come to only the dinner part and not the rest of the night , so the place told us we cant do that because its too many people not going to the rest of it.. so im so POed now that I have to change my plans (cause we sent out an email in advacne too) that now Im going to do something that I know she wont come to, so whatever deal with it.

I used to work in retail a long time ago, and let me tell you, I used to make schedules and we werent allowed to make them until the end of the month for the next month, so employees would know their new schedule the last week of the month. Trust me she can request that day off if she wants too esp since its 4 months away.

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Posted by KittyGags

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Posted by Cacarina

Well, not really drama, just annoying. So I wanted to go to Fire Island for my Bachelorette and there was one particular weekend that worked for mostly everyone, so my sister sent out an email with the date and all. So FSIL writes back that she can't make it that weekend because she has to work. Listen, I understand the importance of working, but come on...it is 4 MONTHS away, FIGURE IT OUT! She works at a retail store, I am sure someone can fill in for her. Besides...who knows their schedule 4 months in advance??? She just loves to be difficult. So now we're going to have to change the entire plan for her since the weekend we wanted to do was basically the last weekend we could do Fire Island. So now we're changing to AC, which will be fun too, but I am just SO annoyed. I am just tempted to say, sorry this is the weekend we're going to do it, DEAL. But, I know FH would want her there, soo...ONCE AGAIN the world revolves around FSIL.

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I'd tell her its the only date that works for everyone else and can she see if she can move around her schedule that week? Otherwise, you'll miss her!

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ditto I would not change my plans because of her. Like you said she works in retail she can switch or make a special request.

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Posted by egem523

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Posted by KittyGags

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Posted by Cacarina

Well, not really drama, just annoying. So I wanted to go to Fire Island for my Bachelorette and there was one particular weekend that worked for mostly everyone, so my sister sent out an email with the date and all. So FSIL writes back that she can't make it that weekend because she has to work. Listen, I understand the importance of working, but come on...it is 4 MONTHS away, FIGURE IT OUT! She works at a retail store, I am sure someone can fill in for her. Besides...who knows their schedule 4 months in advance??? She just loves to be difficult. So now we're going to have to change the entire plan for her since the weekend we wanted to do was basically the last weekend we could do Fire Island. So now we're changing to AC, which will be fun too, but I am just SO annoyed. I am just tempted to say, sorry this is the weekend we're going to do it, DEAL. But, I know FH would want her there, soo...ONCE AGAIN the world revolves around FSIL.

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I'd tell her its the only date that works for everyone else and can she see if she can move around her schedule that week? Otherwise, you'll miss her!

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ditto I would not change my plans because of her. Like you said she works in retail she can switch or make a special request.

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I wouldn't change my plans either. She should try to work something out. Can you write her back and ask her to try to work it out because otherwise the entire party has to be changed to something entirely different and you would prefer not having to do that. Approach it nicely so she will want to be more accomidating. Just explain things to her, be truthful and detailed and ask her to try to make an effort to work something out at work. Give suggestions too... like can you switch with someone.

I would even start off with saying 'I didn't realize your job made schedules 4 months in advance. Is there anyway you can either put in for some vacation time or switch your schedule with someone else for those days? I would really LOVE for you to be there and I'm looking forward to partying it up with you there. If we don't go that particular weekend, then we can't go there at all and I'd rather not change the entire plan as we were all looking forward to going to Fire Island.' Then recap by saying, 'I'm sorry this might be stressful for you and I hate to even ask because I don't want to put you out but I do want you to be there.'

You can even go into more detail about why you can't go to Fire Island any other weekend. Be as genuine as possible and truthful. I wouldn't change the whole plan for her. It's one thing to change the weekend... but it's another to have to change EVERYTHING!!

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Posted by MrsDtoBe09

I wouldnt change plans for her. It's different if your FH would be there and he wanted her there but this is YOUR party. Do not change it!

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I atually just spoke to FH and he was like, that is ridiculous, she is being difficult. He said to keep the plans and tell her to either figure it out, or say sorry we'll miss you at the bachelorette party. I just feel bad, I don't want to start out on the wrong foot with her...ya know?

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Posted by Cacarina

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Posted by MrsDtoBe09

I wouldnt change plans for her. It's different if your FH would be there and he wanted her there but this is YOUR party. Do not change it!

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I atually just spoke to FH and he was like, that is ridiculous, she is being difficult. He said to keep the plans and tell her to either figure it out, or say sorry we'll miss you at the bachelorette party. I just feel bad, I don't want to start out on the wrong foot with her...ya know?

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you should def do fire island. . b/c chances are even if you changed it something would come up and then you would have changed for no reason

It's all about how you phrase it. say I really tried to make it work but this is the only time. . I'd love to have you there bc it would mean so much but I know about work. and maybe if this doesn't work out you and I could do something just on our own b/c i am def excited to have you be family blah blah blah.