ugh rough night

I am upset. Fh and I basically fight about one thing.. him going away.

He has this job that is comepletly inconsiderate and he has to go away at the drop of a hat. I get so MAD bc we have things planned and I have to rearrange everything for this.

I know it sounds selfish..but he is in the marines.. and for the past 6 years my life has revolved around him and make sacrifices for when he has to be away, the deployment to iraq etc. He is finally getting out next month and now I have to deal with work???

When does my life get to be priority??? I have sooo much going on right now, ending the school year, getting a new job for sept, 2 grad classes, the dog, the wedding and he has one...his job.

I am being a huge bi-otch and he left and i refuse to answer the phone and talk to him. He says Im selfish and he has responsibilities, but i have given up one weekend every month, 2 years while he was stationed in cali, 2 weeks a year when he got back from that andthen 6 motnhs of worrying and hell when he was at war.... am I unreasonable???
sorry for typos

Sorry you are going through this.. it is not easy...and you are allowed to be upset and aggravated... My fh has to travel on business and usually the notice is a week.. he used to have to go away a month at a time, and there was the chance he would go away for 6 months, but thank goodness he didnt have to...SO, i feel your pain... its ok to feel the way you do, it is natural and its only because you love him, miss him, dont want all the responsibilities all to yourself- all very normal- HOWEVER, you need to realize that he needs to make a future for you and him and your future family- Is it fair? nope, not at all- but he is doing it for you... you may not feel that way right now, cause i know i dont when FH has to randomly go away- BUT he is...
Maybe you can talk about still sharing some of those responsibilities, that he cant simply have a job and not do anything else- cause its not fair to you...
Good luck- FM ME ANY TIME- i know how you feel...

(answer the phone- it will make you feel better- cause if you are anything like me , deep down you really want to talk to him- you are upset- but you do want to hear his voice!)

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Posted by july06bride

Sorry you are going through this.. it is not easy...and you are allowed to be upset and aggravated... My fh has to travel on business and usually the notice is a week.. he used to have to go away a month at a time, and there was the chance he would go away for 6 months, but thank goodness he didnt have to...SO, i feel your pain... its ok to feel the way you do, it is natural and its only because you love him, miss him, dont want all the responsibilities all to yourself- all very normal- HOWEVER, you need to realize that he needs to make a future for you and him and your future family- Is it fair? nope, not at all- but he is doing it for you... you may not feel that way right now, cause i know i dont when FH has to randomly go away- BUT he is...
Maybe you can talk about still sharing some of those responsibilities, that he cant simply have a job and not do anything else- cause its not fair to you...
Good luck- FM ME ANY TIME- i know how you feel...

(answer the phone- it will make you feel better- cause if you are anything like me , deep down you really want to talk to him- you are upset- but you do want to hear his voice!)

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aww thanks..

The thing is he doesnt get paid any more for being away.. so in my eyes.. whats the point??!!?? I mean yea he gets paid travel time but sheesh .. if it were me Id be like 'ummmmmm whats in it for me'

I think I am oversensitive because of the military.. I mean going away in my eyes is LOOONNGG term and a worry fest and I just cant get used to it. I have dealth with being by myself soooo much and he has missed so much in my life because of it, I sometimes wonder how it would hae been if it were the other way around.

how long is he away right now???


Does he have the opportunity to ever say, NO I cant go...???
and if so, does he say it???


Is there a light at the end of the tunnel??? Like- will this stop any time soon, or is this long term???

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Posted by july06bride

how long is he away right now???


Does he have the opportunity to ever say, NO I cant go...???
and if so, does he say it???


Is there a light at the end of the tunnel??? Like- will this stop any time soon, or is this long term???

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this time it is 2 weeks. buttt he has the marines this weekend so he will be gone all wekend then leaing monday till saturday (comming home cause we are godparents and christening is sunday) then back on monday

Thats the thing... he will NEVER say to his boos he cant go. I had plans next thurs and fri that I have to cancel bc I have no one to watch the pup (he was supposed to) and they were important plans....we also have our training classes for the dog and had appointments for the wedding.

That definitely stinks and is no fun...

have you tried sitting down and having a real heart to heart ,maybe you can come to a compromise of some sort...

If this is a short term deal- then i would say leave it be and let it be over soon...
but if this is going to be your life for a long time... i would defintely try to talk to him about it and come to some agreement that makes you both happy...