ughhhhhhhh- house rant

so my FH and I are closing on our house soon and i feel like we argue like every day about what we need to do to the house..

We need to work on the basement because he wants a 'mancave', so my dad and I have been starting to price out sheet rock, insulation, paint, etc. for the renovations.. we also have been pricing out bedroom, living room and basement furniture (tv stands, couches, coffee tables, etc.). The kitchen is very outdated and while I would really love to switch out the cabinets and countertop, I understand that it is an expensive job and I will have to wait a few years to do that.

Well, my FH argues with me everyday about things he wants to buy for the house and it's really annoying.. I feel like I'm thinking logically here about how we can get the most done in our house for a good price, but he wants to just throw a bunch of money into unneeded items right now...

for the last few weeks, the argument was about how he wants 3 new TVs: one for the living room, basement, and our bedroom. I told him we can use the ones we have for now and buy new ones down the road and he got in a huge argument with me... Is this just a guy thing because I don't understand why he doesn't realize that we have alot more important stuff to do to the house!!

then today, we got in an argument over a grill. I told him macy's has little outdoor ones we can add the registry to use for now and we can purchase a nicer one down the road, but we wants to go out a buy like a $750 grill right now!


ughhhhhhhhhh god help me between this and the wedding I may kill myself

ughhhhhhhh- house rant - Long Island Weddings

I could have written your whole post myself! It's so frustrating! The home buying process is stressful enough, our closing date was pushed back so many time, we almost lost the house. But, it ended up working out in the end.

Once we were in the house, he was like, we need this we need that we need this and that and this and that right now rightnow RIGHTNOWNOWNOW!!!

Fast forward a year and a half, and now we're house poor. Because he got all of the things he wanted (some of which make no sense, could have waited, etc) we're in debt up to our eyeballs and trying to pay for a wedding. Way to go, jerk. Now he listens when I tell him that our first home isn't going to be our dream home.

Try and compromise where you can and let him know, if you get a $750 grill, you won't have any money to pay for food to cook on it! LOL!

Re: ughhhhhhhh- house rant

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Posted by Alimm729

Try and compromise where you can and let him know, if you get a $750 grill, you won't have any money to pay for food to cook on it! LOL!

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ughhhhhhhh- house rant - Long Island Weddings

FH and I closed on our house back in September. We barley ever fought before getting the house and for the first 2 months it was the only thing we did- the fights were so dumb but we were both stressed and being a home as opposed to renting is a huge adjustment.

Our home was completely fine but there were things FH just wanted to do. He wanted to make things nicer and I understood that but I was stressing because I wanted to save money for the wedding. Needless to say once FH started seeing how much things really were to get fixed we talked about things that were a priority as opposed to things we just wanted to do.

Right now I think your FH is just so excited that you have a house and wants to make it yours but he'll eventually calm down and realize a $750 grill isn't as important as other things that needs to get done.

ughhhhhhhh- house rant - Long Island Weddings

here's what I do when FH wants to purchase something ridiculous...I say Ok, if you think that is a smart decision and you have your own money to pay for it then fine go buy it...and he never does. Men just don't like to hear NO...reverse psychology works every time!!

ughhhhhhhh- house rant - Long Island Weddings

We haven't purchased a house yet but a few months ago my FH was BUGGING me for a new TV. I said 'maybe we will go on black friday for a good deal.' I also wanted a PC so I figured, he gets the TV and I get a PC & everyone is happy. Well, before black friday I said 'lets just go and see what we want and the prices this way we know if we are getting a good deal on black friday.' Let me tell you, TVs at Best Buy seem smaller than they are. He insisted on getting this 60 inch 3D TV..then we needed the HDMI cable then the glass shelf to hold the cable box, the wall mount to hold this stupid thing & then he HAD to get the sound bar (I argued til I was blue for him to return it). I never ended up getting my PC bc he had spent so much. We barely have food in the fridge bc we are saving but its ok because we have a 60 inch 3D TV. On top of that, we get this thing home & it's HUGE. Its obnoxiously big. I mean it's nice but we could have bought a small TV & a PC for what we spent on this one. The way I see it, just wait until we go wedding band shopping...when he tells me the ring I want is too expensive, I will tell him at least I will have it FOREVER & maybe he should return his new tv ;)

Re: ughhhhhhhh- house rant

It's probably just a guy thing. When FH and I started doing everything to our apartment, he was insisting we get a new TV for the living room. The one he has is almost 9 years old. It's from his ex and he didn't think it was appropriate to have something from her in our new place. I completely understood but I didn't care at all - I just figured that it would save us some money until after the wedding but I ended up caving and he went out and bought a 60' that we didn't necessarily have the money for at the time.

I would say that if he's insisting on all of these things, tell him to choose the one that's most important to him right now and work on the rest after the wedding when it's financially easier. That way, he'll see that you're taking everything on his wish list into consideration, but being reasonable and financially responsible about it at the same time.

As for furniture, we got all of our stuff from Ashley Furniture and I can't say enough wonderful things about them!! Our furniture cost a bit more than I was looking to spend, but everything we picked is beautiful and will last us a long time. We opened up an interest free credit card that gives us until the end of the year to pay it off so we didn't have to worry about the expense now. Delivery with them was incredible - they came on time and did everything (unwrap and set up) within about 45 minutes.

Good luck!!!

Re: ughhhhhhhh- house rant

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

It's probably just a guy thing. When FH and I started doing everything to our apartment, he was insisting we get a new TV for the living room. The one he has is almost 9 years old. It's from his ex and he didn't think it was appropriate to have something from her in our new place. I completely understood but I didn't care at all - I just figured that it would save us some money until after the wedding but I ended up caving and he went out and bought a 60' that we didn't necessarily have the money for at the time.

I would say that if he's insisting on all of these things, tell him to choose the one that's most important to him right now and work on the rest after the wedding when it's financially easier. That way, he'll see that you're taking everything on his wish list into consideration, but being reasonable and financially responsible about it at the same time.

As for furniture, we got all of our stuff from Ashley Furniture and I can't say enough wonderful things about them!! Our furniture cost a bit more than I was looking to spend, but everything we picked is beautiful and will last us a long time. We opened up an interest free credit card that gives us until the end of the year to pay it off so we didn't have to worry about the expense now. Delivery with them was incredible - they came on time and did everything (unwrap and set up) within about 45 minutes.

Good luck!!!

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we were looking at ashley too! lol but i'm planning on taking a trip to bob's to get an idea of the quality of the furniture there.. the prices seem too good to be true, but my friends have been raving about them... i told my FH to look on groupon for TVs and to forget about the grill. we will use a george foreman for awhile since it's just the two of us and he will have to deal with it! lol

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Posted by cets1290

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

It's probably just a guy thing. When FH and I started doing everything to our apartment, he was insisting we get a new TV for the living room. The one he has is almost 9 years old. It's from his ex and he didn't think it was appropriate to have something from her in our new place. I completely understood but I didn't care at all - I just figured that it would save us some money until after the wedding but I ended up caving and he went out and bought a 60' that we didn't necessarily have the money for at the time.

I would say that if he's insisting on all of these things, tell him to choose the one that's most important to him right now and work on the rest after the wedding when it's financially easier. That way, he'll see that you're taking everything on his wish list into consideration, but being reasonable and financially responsible about it at the same time.

As for furniture, we got all of our stuff from Ashley Furniture and I can't say enough wonderful things about them!! Our furniture cost a bit more than I was looking to spend, but everything we picked is beautiful and will last us a long time. We opened up an interest free credit card that gives us until the end of the year to pay it off so we didn't have to worry about the expense now. Delivery with them was incredible - they came on time and did everything (unwrap and set up) within about 45 minutes.

Good luck!!!

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we were looking at ashley too! lol but i'm planning on taking a trip to bob's to get an idea of the quality of the furniture there.. the prices seem too good to be true, but my friends have been raving about them... i told my FH to look on groupon for TVs and to forget about the grill. we will use a george foreman for awhile since it's just the two of us and he will have to deal with it! lol

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A friend of mine just moved into a new apartment last Saturday and I was there when her furniture was delivered from Bobs. It's beautiful furniture and they had everything set up in minutes! She also got the bob-o-pedic mattress that you hear about in the commercials. It's sooooo comfy! Next year when it's time for new bedroom furniture, I'm definitely looking at Bobs!

ughhhhhhhh- house rant - Long Island Weddings

Buying a house and all the work involved is soooo stressful. Right up until we were getting close to closing I would have told you we were the happiest we have been in years never really even fighting at all. Then we closed and we started arguing about everything. It's soooo stressful. Its gotten a little better but it takes a while to get through it.

His parents also bought us a $1000 gift for our new home.....and he insisted on a BBQ as well.

ughhhhhhhh- house rant - Long Island Weddings

yeah we found a living room furniture set, china cabinet, bob-o-pedic, queen bed (don't need the other furniture pieces we are just going to use my current one, but i don't have a queen bed), tv stand, and leather sofa for the basement for just about 3k! lol i was blown away at the price, but I want to wait until we see the furniture in person

ughhhhhhhh- house rant - Long Island Weddings

I would definitely go and look at the furniture. My sister and brother have furniture from Bob's and they LOVE it, but when FH and I went to see it in person we were less than impressed - with the furniture and the customer service. Everything just seemed really fragile and the couches that we sat on seemed like they would break at any second.

This could also be because they are display models, but I would definitely go to see it in person. We felt that the quality of Ashley's furniture was way worth the money. However, my sister and brother said that Bob's has a guarantee program that they'll replace anything broken so that's a plus! The stuff that they have is great - I didn't see any of it in the store though, only online.

Re: ughhhhhhhh- house rant

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

I would definitely go and look at the furniture. My sister and brother have furniture from Bob's and they LOVE it, but when FH and I went to see it in person we were less than impressed - with the furniture and the customer service. Everything just seemed really fragile and the couches that we sat on seemed like they would break at any second.

This could also be because they are display models, but I would definitely go to see it in person. We felt that the quality of Ashley's furniture was way worth the money. However, my sister and brother said that Bob's has a guarantee program that they'll replace anything broken so that's a plus! The stuff that they have is great - I didn't see any of it in the store though, only online.

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good to know! i'll keep that in mind for sure

ughhhhhhhh- house rant - Long Island Weddings

I understand completely!! I just closed on a house in December and it was such a stressful month with the house, holidays, wedding planning and grad school finals. My FH is also a spender and wants literally everything he sees like a 5 year old. Once we were actually in the house, setting everything up and really looking at the wedding budget he finally started to calm down about wanting to buy things.

We are using two tvs that we already had (one for the living room and one for the bedroom) and he ended up getting a grill for his birthday from his parents so that settled that. But even with the shock of all of the expenses we will have over the next month, he still has to consciously stop himself from buying things (I had to talk him out of a $500 snow blower a week ago!)

I think it is really just a guy thing!

Also, on a side note- we got really great furniture at Raymor and Flannigans clearance center. If you guys are looking, it's definitely worth the trip.

Best of luck!!

ughhhhhhhh- house rant - Long Island Weddings

Definitely a guy thing. FH wanted to register for a flat screen. So I had him go register with his mom and needless to say it didn't happen. I can only imagine what it will be like when we buy a house. It doesn't help that I'm used to living on a budget and he's an only child that comes from money. Good luck!

ughhhhhhhh- house rant - Long Island Weddings

In my case, it's the opposite! I'm the one that wants to get things right away and he's the more level headed one.

ughhhhhhhh- house rant - Long Island Weddings

Boys just think about toys and not the practical things. Those things can wait until after the wedding.