UH OH - long vent
I've had the week from h^ll and it's only Wednesday. You will never believe what drama has taken place due to invitations
Here's the scenario: FH has not been much help with the wedding, or more specifically, the invites. I counted the guests by myself and bought the supplies, figured out wording, assembled them and tied a freakin ribbon around each one. Ugh. and I ordered them a bit ago so I was a bit nervous when my FMIL and my Mom had both thrown a few people on the list that weren't originally accounted for, after I ordered the invites. You girls can understand, I was a little stressed because I didn't order too many extra and I wanted to be sure we have one for ourselves.
So when it came down to addressing the stupid things, I started looking for a way to cut corners, to be sure everyone got invited. My solution was to mail one invitation to families instead of individual people in the same home. I KNOW proper etiquette is to give everyone their own, but I wasn't sure I had enough.
My other corner-cutter was to not send invites to the BP since we're giving them all gifts, I though I would make them special invites.
Alright, so FH has these two guys he calls his 'Cousins' who are in the BP. They're not really cousins but the families have been friends for a long time and FH's family is in S. America so he doesn't have any real family here.
So through my corner cutting cousin 1 & 2 didn't get invitations to their houses but I still wanted them to feel included since I haven't had time to make them invites yet so I told my sister (who was addressing them) to put them all on the parent's invitation.
BIG mistake. or shall I say three BIG mistakes. One of the Cousins called FH yesterday screaming and this is what he YELLED
1)Apparently my sis wrote 'Mr ___ ____' (the father) on the front of the envelope instead of Mr & Mrs. and Mr ____ saw this as a 'disrespect' to Mrs ____ and Mr ___ is pissed that we treated his wife 'that way' and claimed that we had 'some nerve acting like she was dead.' this was also called 'condescending'
2)Not sending individual invites to people we ask to be in the BP is 'disrespectful'. by doing writing one invite we treated them like they were a 'gang' or 'a big happy family' when they are really individual people; and
3)In order to use my stupid bed bath and beyond online seating chart thing I entered everyone's name into an excel sheet that I then uploaded. It's called a guest list manager or something. I don't know if anyone else is using it but you have to put everyone's first and last name in order for it to work (otherwise it says 'please enter a last name for guest #44 or whatever). So on people where we didn't know their names (let's say I didn't know John was a Doe) I would have just put his date's last name John Jones or Guest Jones. Now I did this for one of the cousin's girlfriends. I met her 2 years ago and I know her name is Leslie so I entered her as Leslie ____, bc FH didn't know her name either. Then my sister pulled these lists off the computer and worked off of them to address the invitations. Accidentally, she wrote that on their card, Leslie ____ - which flipped them out. The cousin told FH we 'should have asked her name, it's insulting to just give someone a name and not even bother to ask what it really is'
I'm just devastated that this was one stupid mistake after another and it's made these people so freaking furious!
I called both the 'cousins' 2x yesterday & left messages. No answer or return call. I drove an hour out to the parents' house to apologize and bring them a plant. No one was home so I left a note of apology with my phone number.
Their measurements were due at the tuxedo place and neither of them have gone. FH was hysterically yesterday and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid these boys are going to pull out of the BP now, I don't think FH will forgive me. He said it's okay but I know he's heartbroken :(
I feel awful that my stupidity and rush to get the invitations out, would cause such an uproar.
Is anyone Latino? Is this a cultural thing? Can you give me advice please?!?!?
I cant believe this is happening.
Here's the scenario: FH has not been much help with the wedding, or more specifically, the invites. I counted the guests by myself and bought the supplies, figured out wording, assembled them and tied a freakin ribbon around each one. Ugh. and I ordered them a bit ago so I was a bit nervous when my FMIL and my Mom had both thrown a few people on the list that weren't originally accounted for, after I ordered the invites. You girls can understand, I was a little stressed because I didn't order too many extra and I wanted to be sure we have one for ourselves.
So when it came down to addressing the stupid things, I started looking for a way to cut corners, to be sure everyone got invited. My solution was to mail one invitation to families instead of individual people in the same home. I KNOW proper etiquette is to give everyone their own, but I wasn't sure I had enough.
My other corner-cutter was to not send invites to the BP since we're giving them all gifts, I though I would make them special invites.
Alright, so FH has these two guys he calls his 'Cousins' who are in the BP. They're not really cousins but the families have been friends for a long time and FH's family is in S. America so he doesn't have any real family here.
So through my corner cutting cousin 1 & 2 didn't get invitations to their houses but I still wanted them to feel included since I haven't had time to make them invites yet so I told my sister (who was addressing them) to put them all on the parent's invitation.
BIG mistake. or shall I say three BIG mistakes. One of the Cousins called FH yesterday screaming and this is what he YELLED
1)Apparently my sis wrote 'Mr ___ ____' (the father) on the front of the envelope instead of Mr & Mrs. and Mr ____ saw this as a 'disrespect' to Mrs ____ and Mr ___ is pissed that we treated his wife 'that way' and claimed that we had 'some nerve acting like she was dead.' this was also called 'condescending'
2)Not sending individual invites to people we ask to be in the BP is 'disrespectful'. by doing writing one invite we treated them like they were a 'gang' or 'a big happy family' when they are really individual people; and
3)In order to use my stupid bed bath and beyond online seating chart thing I entered everyone's name into an excel sheet that I then uploaded. It's called a guest list manager or something. I don't know if anyone else is using it but you have to put everyone's first and last name in order for it to work (otherwise it says 'please enter a last name for guest #44 or whatever). So on people where we didn't know their names (let's say I didn't know John was a Doe) I would have just put his date's last name John Jones or Guest Jones. Now I did this for one of the cousin's girlfriends. I met her 2 years ago and I know her name is Leslie so I entered her as Leslie ____, bc FH didn't know her name either. Then my sister pulled these lists off the computer and worked off of them to address the invitations. Accidentally, she wrote that on their card, Leslie ____ - which flipped them out. The cousin told FH we 'should have asked her name, it's insulting to just give someone a name and not even bother to ask what it really is'
I'm just devastated that this was one stupid mistake after another and it's made these people so freaking furious!
I called both the 'cousins' 2x yesterday & left messages. No answer or return call. I drove an hour out to the parents' house to apologize and bring them a plant. No one was home so I left a note of apology with my phone number.
Their measurements were due at the tuxedo place and neither of them have gone. FH was hysterically yesterday and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid these boys are going to pull out of the BP now, I don't think FH will forgive me. He said it's okay but I know he's heartbroken :(
I feel awful that my stupidity and rush to get the invitations out, would cause such an uproar.
Is anyone Latino? Is this a cultural thing? Can you give me advice please?!?!?
I cant believe this is happening.
