okay, so I am REALYYYY considering about un inviting one of my bridesmaids to be my bridesmaid.. how bad of a person am I??? is it too late? she hasn't gotten the dress or anything, and she has been nothing but negative energy has helped me with nothing , never asks me how the preparations are going, I see her every day... she has a lot going on with her own life I get it, I just want to slap her actually.. Help!!
summerbridejen2015
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
I don't think its to late but you can say it like,it seems like you have a lot going on and I don't want to add more stress on you so maybe its better you step down, chances are you may lose her as a friend, but if you don't mind then I would do it!
Ellinator
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
she hasn't been a friend since I got engaged I don't know what changed but its been going down hill
xBudgetBridex
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That's a tough call. You did say she had allot going on...... maybe she wantsfood to help but can't? Also you don't want to do something u may regret later. How long have u known her? If she gets really upset that u kicked her out do u think she would remain friends? And if she won't stay friends are u ok losing that person? I almost made the mistake of picking someone other then my bff of 15 years to be my moh. I almost choose someone I only have known 3 yrs and was super excited and super helpful with everything. Well that friends of 3 yrs isn't in my wedding anymore I guess bc she isn't speaking to me for what reasonidk but that's whatever. I also know 2 girlsthat have regrets. the one girl was getting married and not her friend show her tattoos in the wedding photos. The other friend wouldn't cover then so she was tossed from the bridal party. All I'm saying be sure u want to cut her before u actually do it! Good luck!
Ellinator
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
Tough decisions ! I know her for 3 years, just her husband is an idiot and dictates a lot of 'her' choices...
chrisandwill2015
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
Have you talked to her though?
Kimberley2015
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
I went through the same thing. Had a BFF for 18-19 years and have not seen her since my engagement. I know she was going through a lot and I was extremely supportive and there for her, however she has been completely non-exisitant with everything. Of course I was having her as my Matron of Honor as I would not have it any other way and still have not seen her. I mentioned to her since she has a lot going on in her life her focus should be herself and her son and she was very quick to agree and still have not seen her. It is a tough call but on my special day I want to surround myself with those that are genuinely happy for me and want to stand by me. Maybe you should try speaking wiht her and see where she is coming from and take it from there. Good luck and keep us posted.
chrisandwill2015
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
Agreed.
Ellinator
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
I don't even know what to say to her, every time I mention makeup trial hair trial dress shopping always an excuse so I don't know what to say
brnnglgn
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I had the same thought with one of my bridesmaids and I called her out on it one day and was like *** is going on? After her and I talked about it we are A LOT better now. For her it was just a matter of her being so wrapped up in things that she was forgetting everything else.
I would suggest just talking to her about it before you make a decision that you might regret and when you talk to her do it with a cool and collective head.
Ellinator
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
I hate confrontation with friends, at work I love it haha ugh this is the hard part
Kimberley2015
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
You definitely need to talk with her. I would constantly reach out to my girlfriend to see when we could meet up and talk and discuss things and it was always something. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt because sometimes one may have a lot going on in their lives. I get that. However this is your special day and you need to know where she stands when it comes to her being a part of your special day.
Lguido
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
That's a tough situation to be in & I'm sorry your going through this! I would have a nice talk with her & tell her how u feel. Say to her you don't seem interested in being apart of my wedding due to your actions! What's the deal? Are u in or are u out? You don't need the added stress or jealously! And if she backs out then just move on and let it go! Hopefully she doesn't! Good luck with everything & keep us posted!
Ellinator
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
thank you ladies!!! im going to have the sit down !
Kimberley2015
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
Definitely, keep us posted and good luck. It's YOUR day and need to be around people that are going to lift you up, not bring you down.
DebOst
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
Definitely speak to her, but also try to make sure you are looking at the situation with multiple lenses.
My friend 'spoke' to me about this before her wedding. We were best friends since we were 14. Before she got her first nursing job which also happened to be right before she got engaged we were unseparable. We would meet up for dinner twice a week, we would do everything together. But she got a new job which meant a new schedule, our schedules didn't really match up as much. Every time we made plans, she canceled for various reasons, family or just being tired from work. Around this time FH and I started to date again (she didn't like him). We finally got together after multiple cancelations and she sat me down saying I was not making time for her, this was not the case, I offered to be there when I wasn't working. At that time I was working 14 hours a day m-f and another 4 - 6 hours on the weekend. It was tough. I was insulted. I stayed part of her wedding party and did everything I could and offered to do other things when possible, but our friendship was never the same. There were a lot of other things that happened around her bahelorette and at her actual wedding. It is very sad. I bring this up because I want you to look at the big picture. Do you want to keep her as a friend? Will confronting her make it worse/better?
I also have the other end of it too, my sisters (I am not very close with them) refuse to do anything with me for the wedding, even when it comes to going bridesmaid dress shopping. But, they are my sisters if they were a friend I would probably have had a sit down with them.
Talk to them just make sure you are looking at it from all angles :/
Djswedding
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Un invite a brisdesmaid??
Ok this is going to be tough to say but....
She's supposed to be helping you, when she accepted the job she knew what was coming. Your stress should be coming from what color flowers or what flavor cake NOT negative energy. Talk to her first but if you still get negative comments, politely ask her to remove herself from the wedding party.
