Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

ACZCAZ10 Posted: Aug 25, 2010 08:28 PM

Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

I am really pissed off. One of my BMs is planning the bach party which is fine bc my sister (MOH) is in school, no job, and doesnt really know how to do all that stuff - no big deal, totally understandable...so she asked if my sister is still going to come because she has to book everything. So I told her id find out.

So I get home and my sister says that she cant afford to pay for it because she needs the money for books for school. So fine, no big deal. So I tell my mom and she says that she will save the money for her to go. Right away my sister says no she doesnt want to take the money from my mom because after I leave they will struggle enough trying to pay bills w/o my help anymore so she doesnt want to take the $.

So now im getting pissed bc she is my sister and MOH and she has to be there and i want her there, and if she can go, why would she still not go. So im telling her she is going and its final and she keeps saying no. So then im thinking maybe its something beyond that like maybe she will feel left out or something since she isnt close with the BMs. So then my mom says that one other time she felt left out when it was me and a BM and her for the dresses. But that was only one time and its bull because I include her with everything.

We argued and now Im not talking to her. My Mom says to give it a day and then talk about it with her again. And then I know it she will go back to school over the weekend and everything will just be forgotten. She says to me 'im not going and im not doing **** for you.' Why does everything become my problem? WHY! Even in this situation, which im not even supposed to be planning. :((( ughhh i had enough. How could I enjoy my bach party w/o her!!! It wont feel right. Sorry its so long. What do you think?

The bach party will be a spa day with a dinner out following so probably be about $200 / person

SoontobeGallagher Posted: Aug 25, 2010 08:49 PM

Re: Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

I think there's more to your behind the no besides money. She was offered the money and she knows that you want her going. I think there is another reason why she doesn't want to go. It's not fair to you. I'm sorry.

ACZCAZ10 Posted: Aug 25, 2010 08:51 PM

Re: Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

Posted by SoontobeGallagher

I think there's more to your behind the no besides money. She was offered the money and she knows that you want her going. I think there is another reason why she doesn't want to go. It's not fair to you. I'm sorry.

Thanks so much for reading all that and your thoughts. I thought so too. I hate it :( I hope it works out. Its strange because in the beginning she seemed happy to go.

Drues_Girl Posted: Aug 26, 2010 07:28 AM

Re: Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

its prob just a silly sister fight... my sister and I always have these stupid fights... of course she is going to be there. what sister wouldnt go to your b-party.... let her cool off and talk to her

bluj786 Posted: Aug 26, 2010 08:04 AM

Re: Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

it does sound like something else is bothering her, bc she was offered the money and still doesnt wanna go. i would wait a day and then talk to her again, and tell her how you want her there and it means a lot to you and it wouldnt bethe same. and find out whats bothering her.

quirkybride Posted: Aug 26, 2010 08:09 AM

Re: Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

Posted by Drues_Girl

its prob just a silly sister fight... my sister and I always have these stupid fights... of course she is going to be there. what sister wouldnt go to your b-party.... let her cool off and talk to her

This should be the case, but sometimes things get out of hand and people aren't there for each other :(

elp6421 Posted: Aug 26, 2010 08:12 AM

Re: Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

I might be a little jaded when responding to this post bc my own sister and I have had so many issues since I got engaged.

Like the other girls have mentioned there def another issue at hand. I can'e even begin to guess, but have your sister had good relationshio up until this point?

Lil OC Posted: Aug 26, 2010 08:12 AM

Re: Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

Honestly, if she doesnt wanna go, she doesnt wanna go. Try not to stress out and dont let it ruin this for you. My BM who is my FH's sister does not wanna come to the RD or bach, and she booked a vacation the weekend of my shower. People are weird! I was upset at first but why let it ruin it for me? At the end of the day your sister has to live with her decision and she is the one who would be missing out.

ACZCAZ10 Posted: Aug 27, 2010 12:07 PM

Re: Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

Thanks for everything guys! I did talk to her last night and she said yes :) and it was because she was going to feel left out. I explained to her how much I wanted her there and will do everything to not make her feel that way. Cant believe how hard everything is with the planning and little details. I never thought she would feel this way :( and no we dont have a bad relationship!!

little j Posted: Aug 27, 2010 12:11 PM

Re: Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

my sis was only there for 1/2 my shower. work conflicts

so why not compromise. just have her meet you for dinner. then no one needs to pay for the spa (plus, at the spa you will be busy w treatments anyway, so you wont miss her that much)

just an idea

sorry you gotta deal w drama

JAAMS Posted: Aug 27, 2010 12:13 PM

Re: Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

Hmm it sounds like something else is bothering her, absolutely. I would give her a day or two to cool off, then try to talk to her about it. Approach it asking if there is something bothering her.

win01 Posted: Aug 27, 2010 01:42 PM

Re: Unbelievableness with Bach Party Vent long :(

I am having the opposite problem..I DON'T want a bach party at all..My friends are insisting..I think the more people INSIST the more your back goes up and you get upset. I asked for just a ladies tea, but no, they have to do some kind of dinner/show with stuff I don't enjoy at all. I would just back off and I am sure she will go... Maybe she is not comfortable with the place or activity? Some people just don't like it. Glad she looks like she is coming. I am contemplating the flu.