Uninterested Bridesmaid

I really think I made a BIG mistake when I picked one of my bridesmaids. One of the girls I picked is a very old friend of mine. She was extremely excited when I asked her to be in my BP... now I feel like shes just so un-interested. Im always the first to IM her when shes on the computer.. She hardly ever calls-if EVER. She never called me on my birthday... never writes.. nothing! We have lost touch through the years, and I feel more distant to her now then ever. I really feel like I made a huge mistake by asking her because seriously.. the way I feel now is that the only reason why I keep in touch with her is because I asked her to be in my BP. Ugghhh.. This is so tough. I dont know what to do.. I feel like Im pulling teeth when I ask her about getting measured for the bridesmaid dresses.. She lives on Long Island and she can never make it here to Brooklyn or SI for fittings .... or ANYTHING! Im trying every which way to accomodate her and I really feel like everytime I bring up my wedding, Im bothering her. I dont expect her to do jumping jacks because shes in my BP, but, Im just not feeling right about this. The reason why I asked her to be in my BP in the first place is because we have been friends for so many years and she was once a HUGE part of my life. Now?? Just so non-existant.
I sit here and I swear, i want to cry because Im just so upset about asking her. I kind of wish I never asked her. I can never have the heart to ask her to step down. But I swear, the way I feel right now.. words cant even express
Sorry about the long post, but I really need some advice. What would you do in this situation??

Thanks for listening.

This isn't the same BM that you got into a huge fight with, she stormed out then didn't call you for days, right???

Hm. It's a tough situation, which is exactly why I have only family in my BP. I would say that despite your past relationship with this girl, it's the present that counts. have you talked at all with her, or expressed your feelings? Before doing anything, I would really try to meet up with her, gets some coffee or a drink and have a chat. If she doesn't make time for you to do that, IMO, that's a clear sign.

Well, what if there is something that may be going on with her. Is there something else in her life that could be stressing her out or keeping her occupied?

IMHO, you can't possibly ask her to step down. I think it would be hurtful because she was excited in the beginning, so something must have happened. Talk to her and just make sure she is doing ok.

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Posted by Noiva06

Well, what if there is something that may be going on with her. Is there something else in her life that could be stressing her out or keeping her occupied?

IMHO, you can't possibly ask her to step down. I think it would be hurtful because she was excited in the beginning, so something must have happened. Talk to her and just make sure she is doing ok.

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No I dont plan on asking her to step down. She does have alot going on in her life... Shes 23, has 2 kids and just seems stressed all the time. She was excited at first, but she just seemed to loose all intrest. I even thought that asking her would bring our friendship closer.. it didnt.

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Posted by SIBride06

No I dont plan on asking her to step down. She does have alot going on in her life... Shes 23, has 2 kids and just seems stressed all the time. She was excited at first, but she just seemed to loose all intrest. I even thought that asking her would bring our friendship closer.. it didnt.

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Awww.... This is really a tough situation. All I can say is just to hang in there and since she does have a busy life, don't take it personal. What does she do for a living or her significant other? Has she been married before? I'm only asking because maybe she didn't know how expensive it is to be in a bridal party and maybe she is stressed out about $$ since she had 2 kids. I don't know, that's all I could think of....