The thread on the unique ideas that people are including on their wedding day are terrific. I have a slightly different situation that I need advice on. FH's parent's are divorced. His father remarried, mother did not. His father's wife will be there as well, but FH does not get along well with her. I would like to include some family stuff into our wedding but I am having a difficult time with it. I don't want anyone (his mother or his step mother) to feel uncomfortable or excluded. Anyone have/had a similar situation and can give me some tips or ideas? For example: I wanted to do the rose presentation ceremony, but he does not want to give a rose to his step mother, just his mother and father...but his step mother will feel excluded. See my problem?
LADYLUV69
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Re: Unique ideas? Need help!
she will have to get over it. she should understand the situation at hand. she is not related to him (only through marriage). if your FH does not get along with her don't try to force the issue. it a special day for you both and he probably wants to do something special for his parents and w/ his parents.
Wintersbride
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Re: Unique ideas? Need help!
Problem is is that she is not that understanding. Last time FH and I have discussed this he said he does not want to include his parents as anything but guests. Is it still appropriate for me to do these special things for my parents only? I am very close w/ my parents.
Corduroy94
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Re: Unique ideas? Need help!
We have a similar problem FMIL is remarried & FFIL is in the process of divorce so he'll be single and to top it off the 3 of them hate each other. We just put our foot down on all of this nonsense - either they learn to grow up & act as adults or they look like bitter people when they're at their seats and not involved in things like the entrance to the reception etc. We've tried to find ways (for over a year now) to make everyone happy but we finally realized this is our day & THEY should be behaving in ways that will help make it a happy day for US.
jvs77
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Re: Unique ideas? Need help!
I'm having a similar problem too.
The best advice I can think of is to do what feels right for you and your FH. If having just the mothers involved in the rose ceremony is what feel right, then go for it.
Maybe you can include his stepmother by having her do a reading?
With us, my father is engaged, and my mother is not with anyone. We're doing the family unity candle and I want both sets of parents to light one taper candle. My dad wants his FW to be involved, but I just don't feel right about it. I want to keep it to just the parents, but, may have to fight for it a bit with him. *Sigh*
ETA: Oooh, he doesn't want to include his parents in the ceremony at all?? That's a tough one. Personally, I would not be able to leave a set of parents out for fear of hurting their feelings very badly. I would think that you should include them, or, perhaps not do the rose ceremony at all. Ugh - I wish I had better advice for you!
nferrandi
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Re: Unique ideas? Need help!
Posted by jvs77 With us, my father is engaged, and my mother is not with anyone. We're doing the family unity candle and I want both sets of parents to light one taper candle. My dad wants his FW to be involved, but I just don't feel right about it. I want to keep it to just the parents, but, may have to fight for it a bit with him. *Sigh*
I know you're not really asking for advice, but I completely agree wih you. Your father's FW should NOT be lighting a unity candle at your wedding. She's is not his wife and she is not your mother= she is not your family. End of story.
Wintersbride
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Re: Unique ideas? Need help!
Ugh! Divorce complicates things!
Yeah, I think FH and I will have to come up with some ideas. I just don't want any bad feelings with my FIL's. I also want everyone to enjoy themselves and not feel left out.
