Unwanted invite

MayDay16 Posted: Mar 27, 2003 08:46 PM

Unwanted invite

I invited a friend of the family to the wedding solo. Today I got back his response card and invited himself with his 'girlfriend'. I can't believe the nerve! Didn't even call and ask me just took it upon himself to invite her.

How do I handle this? Should I call and flat out say no. Is it worth getting all worked up about? What would you do?

LnP2003 Posted: Mar 27, 2003 08:49 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

If it's not within your means... I would definitely call him and tell him so.... you have just so much to work with & if you need that one seat.....................

jennbaby Posted: Mar 27, 2003 08:52 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

, if you can afford it, leave it, if not, call & politely say the invite was only extended for him, that you apologize, however, it's limited

LauraPete Posted: Mar 27, 2003 11:31 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

I've had this happen in my family often at 3 weddings so far. And they were family members who did it. Before doing anything I would consider how close you are with this person and if you want to stir things up or just leave it be. Because if you address it with him or her, they may get so offended that they may not come at all and you may lose a friend over it. But I have to say it takes a ballzy and rude person to tack on another invite without even asking!!!! I mean, there must be a reason that the invite was only for ONE !!!! Sorta follows the same motif of 'no children at reception' and people show up with them anyway. Of course, I've heard the other side of the fence when a good friend of mine was in a bridal party with 8 other girls all of whom had significant others for quite some time, yet the bride send them all invites for one! Without their mates! I thought that was rude on the bride's part.
Just my 2 cents.

allure Posted: Mar 27, 2003 11:33 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

Do you speak w/him often?Maybe you werent aware that he was involved if you can swing it i say,dont worry about it,if you are worried about ettiquette or $$$$$$$ then i say speak to him

ChristineC68 Posted: Mar 27, 2003 11:35 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

If you sent invites for several people without guests, I think it's only fair to those people to call your friend and explain that the invite was for one person.

natasha Posted: Mar 28, 2003 08:24 AM

Re: Unwanted invite

If you can't afford it, you should call and say that you have a limited amount of space, and you can not accomodate his guest. Good luck.

dkga1026 Posted: Mar 28, 2003 08:41 AM

Re: Unwanted invite

It may have been an honest mistake. Many people -especially men- may not be aware of wedding etiquette - that if the invite doesn't spell out 'and guest' they should come alone. He may have thought that it's a given that he could bring a date. Anyway, that said, I agree with the others, if you can afford it then let it slide. If not, then tell him nicely that the invite was meant only for him. Good luck!

sanmik Posted: Mar 28, 2003 10:35 AM

Re: Unwanted invite

I wouldn't say anything. A lot of people feel ackward going to weddings alone, and he probably just assumed he can bring a date.

christine1221 Posted: Mar 28, 2003 10:59 AM

Re: Unwanted invite

I had this happen to me.

We only invited '+ guest' for people who had a significant other. Otherwise they were invited solo. Someone took it upon themselves to invite a guest. When I called, I told him about the situation & that there would be others there who would be alone. I also asked how important it was for him to bring this person. It was an honest mistake. He didn't realize. Probably b/c as demetra said, he may not have looked at the wording close enough. He didn't wind up bringing her, but if he would have wanted to I would have said it was ok.

Good luck!

Scoop Posted: Mar 28, 2003 11:00 AM

Re: Unwanted invite

If you can spare 1 extra person...let it go. I can't stand the nerve of some people. I would never do that.

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 28, 2003 11:01 AM

Re: Unwanted invite

I agree w/the others. If you can spare it -liet it go, but if not have a conversation with him.

I would never do that.

dcbride Posted: Mar 28, 2003 12:06 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

My sister did that once. My cousins invited her solo to their wedding. My cousin's criteria was only engaged and married people were invited as couples. Granted my sister was not married or engaged but she was living with someone and they have a kid together.

yabbobay Posted: Mar 28, 2003 12:36 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

I say let it go...but it was very important to me that all guests were invited with a guest

Diane Posted: Mar 28, 2003 05:39 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

I hate that I invited people WITHOUT guests, so the decided to ADD them on the response card....THEY HAVE SOME NERVE!!!!!

kmcwed Posted: Mar 29, 2003 05:07 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

I agree that its rude. I also think it could have been a misunderstanding, especially since he's a man and we all know that men tend to be less knowledgable about what's 'proper.'

I think it's really an easy problem to solve. I'm sure you will get some 'no' responses to the invitations. The first 'no' response you get opens up the room you will need for your friend's guest.

I know it's the whole principle of the thing, and that it's upsetting and annoying, but you have so many other things (pleasant things) to think about and attend to, perhaps you can just let this one slide for now??

Also, someone commented how you may not want to confront him because you could lose the friendship. True, I agree. But I also feel that if someone is going to be that touchy and the friendship ends over something like this, you're better off without it.

Just my 2 cents!

Try not to worry. It will work out.

KarenM

karen32 Posted: Mar 29, 2003 05:28 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

men have no clue!! it sounds like you're close to this guy - did you know he was seeing someone? is this someone serious or just someone he can bring so he doesn't have to go alone?? if you can spare the room, i would let it go - but if you can't - then you need to talk to him.

good luck!!!

Sassy Posted: Mar 29, 2003 06:22 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

I invited everyone with a guest for this exact reason. Many ppl don't even realize they are not allowed to bring someone, they don't know that if it doesn't say 'And Guest' that it means it's only for them. Unless you specifically put a 1 where it says how many attending b/c of course then there's no mistaking.

But it sounds like an honest mistake, if you can't afford him to bring her, then by all means, call him and explain. He should understand.
Good Luck

MayDay16 Posted: Mar 29, 2003 11:37 PM

Re: Unwanted invite

Girls -- it looks like I am going to **** it up. What's 1 extra person to feed. At this point with the war and everything else going on I am not going to stress out about it.

I did speak to my girlfriend (this is her cousin and my BM) and told her upfront how rude he was. I needed to unleash a bit and she understood 100%.