Update

(unless you know what was going on this whole post might sound bizarre...long story short, my cousin and her BF were killed last thursday night in a motorcycle accident in California) Well I found out yesterday that the wake will be thurs and fri night, and she will be buried on the day of my wedding. I feel terrible for her family because they keep apologizing but in reality, i'm the one who feels guilty. I got some calls from 2 sets of aunts and uncles that they won't be able to attend the rehearsal dinner because they need to be at the wake (obviously that is perfectly OK with me) but in the back of my mind i am just so destroyed over the whole thing.
As much as I want them to go to the wake and do what they have to do (I will be going thursday for both viewings and friday for the 2-4 viewing) I wanted this wedding to be as normal as possible. Now without them being at the RD, I just feel like there will be 4 obvious people missing and it is just going to make it that much harder. I don't know how to explain what I am feeling right now. I know they have to be at the wake and they should be.....I don't want anyone to think that I feel they shouldn't go.....I'm just exhausted over this. Saturday morning is the funeral. None of us can go except for my father.....I still can't believe this is all happening. I feel like no matter what I say, it doesn't come out right, and I just wish everyone would stop calling to see how I am doing or to remind me of how terrible it is. I'm affraid that if people come up to me at the wedding and say they are sorry for what happened that I'm going to just lose it and start crying all over again. IDK what to do anymore. I had my last hair trial yesterday bc i changed my mind again, it came out great. I will post the pics, just don't mind my puffy face....i was crying the whole morning before I went. thanks for letting me vent again.....sorry for being depressing.

i wish i knew what to say to make you feel better..... but i will lend u a shoulder to cry on

I am so sorry sweetie. It will be okay.

My grandmother died 1 week before my Brothers wedding this past June. It was horrible, but we all got through it. My little brother who was the best man in the beginning of his speak just ask for a moment of silence for our lose. Then he broke into an amazing speech. I know it *****, wrong timing totally. But it will all work out trust me.

I would like to commend you on being so strong. I am sure someone will mention to you on your wedding about the situation, because they want to let you know they care. I would say just say thank you for being here.

I can not not wait to see your new trail!

OMG Angela! I am sooo sorry! I can't even imagine how you are feeling right now!
You must be strong and know that your cousin would want you to have a beautiful wedding. I know the effects of crying...everything on my face swells up. You have to try to stop crying....I know it is hard but try to stop. Think of all the good times you shared with your cousin and know that she will be looking down on you that day!

Sending you lots of hugs and I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

I'm so sorry if you need anything let us know! I am sure that your cousin would want you to have an amazing day- so the best way to honor her is to have a blast at your wedding

i can only offer hugs i dont really have any advice to give

i am sooo sorrrrryyyy

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Posted by 040508Bride

how can I make the swelling on my face go down???? My eyes have these ginormous bags under them and my nose is even swollen i guess from tissues etc.....idk what to do, i look horrible

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your make up artist will take care of all of that - they are miracle workers

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Posted by ant n tilde

i can only offer hugs i dont really have any advice to give

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same here.....you are being so strong through all of this, and once everyone has a chance to grieve properly, hopefully they will be able to celebrate your wedding joyously!!

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Posted by 040508Bride

how can I make the swelling on my face go down???? My eyes have these ginormous bags under them and my nose is even swollen i guess from tissues etc.....idk what to do, i look horrible

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I know it sounds funny but my artist said to use Preperation H under your eyes. That will help so much with the puffy/swelling.

I am again so sorry for your loss and all I can offer you is
Please let us know if you need anything

Angela, all I can say is how sorry I am. This is awful and no one should have to go through this. Try to stay strong I am sure your cousin would want you to be happy. Many hugs and my prayers go out to you and your family

for you and your family!!! This is such an unfortunate accident but I think it's the right thing to go on with the wedding & try to keep your mind off it....

So sorry that you are going through all this. What I really believe is that your cousin would not want you to feel this way. Try to do a little meditation and you'll be alright.

I'm new to the board, but I just want to say how sorry I am for you and your family. I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now.

First, this may sound silly, but I can only use tissues with the aloe lotion in them or my nose gets really sore, so try them. For the puffiness, I get the same way, try splashing cold water on your face, or maybe a cool damp washcloth over your eyes. Maybe whoever is doing your makeup can recommend something better.

It is completely understandable for you to have these feelings...this is supposed to be your special day and you have all of these other emotions to deal with now. If you feel that nervous, try drinking some chamomile (sp?) tea. As a last resort, because some people don't like the idea, if you feel that anxious see if your doctor can give you some Xanax to help calm you.

Try to enjoy your day as much as you can considering the circumstances.

First - I'm so sorry for your loss - I've been MIA from the boards for a while and didn't even know. All my prayers for you and your family. You know, it might be a good idea to talk to the priest (if you're having a priest) who's performing your wedding. he might have some really wise thoughts to share. Its hard - I don't even know you and I've re-typed this post like 3 times trying to offer kind thoughts, advice etc without say things without offending or be inappropriate.
just keep taking deep breaths - feel what the day brings you -regardless of what day it is. thats the healthiest way to approach this. Your wedding day is STILL your wedding day! and it will STILL be the happiest day of your life! even if other feelings are there - it can't change the happiness, love and excitement of starting your lives together!!

please keep us posted and