Update from weeks ago: Edited

mosh913 Posted: Feb 28, 2004 07:34 PM

Update from weeks ago: Edited

For all you girls who read my post weeks ago, about one of my bm's MAY have stolen from my mother, well she didn't, it was a mistake made on my mothers part. Now she isn't speaking to any of us, even after apologies were made. Her son and daughter were supposed to be in my wedding, but she won't even accept their birthday presents from us. We got the card 'RETURN TO SENDER' written about 5 times on the envelope back. It's such an awful situation. I tried calling, and she wouldn't accept my call. Any words of advice or wisdom?

groovypeg Posted: Feb 28, 2004 07:36 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

oh my! that is a tough situation. i can understand your friend being upset. she may just need time. sorry i dont have any great words of wisdom .

sophie78 Posted: Feb 28, 2004 07:41 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

I can't blame her!

suven Posted: Feb 28, 2004 07:42 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

Where is your original post?

mosh913 Posted: Feb 28, 2004 07:42 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

Nobody ever accused her. And like I said apologies were made! I erased my original post, because she was insulted by the fact that I was venting to strangers. I needed an objective opinion, and we all vent on here.

AJsMommy122 Posted: Feb 28, 2004 08:00 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

if you knew she could possibly see it you should have never posted... there lots of stuff I want to say on here and dont b/c I know the wrong people may be reading.... I dont blame her.. sorry I know how it feels like and its not very nice.

mosh913 Posted: Feb 28, 2004 08:04 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

I never thought she would see it, and it's not like I used names, so I didn't think it was a big deal. She knows somebody who was on here and read it, and that's how she found out about it. Like I said, I never accused her, and I just stated a quick version of the story.

monters Posted: Feb 28, 2004 08:08 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

First of all for everyone on the forum who is reading about this. I am the cousin of the person she is referring to and she would be her 'future' sister in-law not a friend just to clarify a bit.

Being a neutral source from the start, I have to say that I am extremely disappointed along with the entire family of how you handled this situtation.

1. you DID accuse her, as I have the original post, stating in the actual subject 'BRIDESMAID STOLE FROM MY PARENTS'

2. For the future, you need to always get the FACTS BEFORE you EVER accuse.

3. I hope you learned from your mistakes, as you have created a rift between you and the family.

the bottom line is that you hurt their feelings and you questioned their integrity(who would really forgive anyone for that) when all along it was your mother who cashed the check in the first place.

AJsMommy122 Posted: Feb 28, 2004 08:10 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

Your FSIL is much different then a friend... thats really bad.
your FH must be pissed

suven Posted: Feb 28, 2004 08:14 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

I think that if you want to make things better, you have to do A LOT of apologizing- not only to her, but to those who also know about the situation...

good luck!

mosh913 Posted: Feb 28, 2004 08:16 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

That may have been the subject, but in the actual post, I said she 'may' have stolen from my family. Sorry it was a poor choice of words. I always said I didn't think she did it, and I hoped that she didn't do it.
2. I never intended on getting involved until she started saying things about my mother, and I had to defend her.
3. APOLOGIES were made. I'm sorry if her ego was that easily bruised over a question.
4. I didn't put any rift between anybody, as it had nothing to do with me to begin with, or you or your family. I didn't accuse anybody, and maybe you should get YOUR facts straight.

As for me posting it on here, I will reiterate, and say I didn't use names. My FH is not mad, as it is not his sister, but his sister in law, and he understood that mistakes are sometimes made, and apologies followed. Unfortunatley, you are just hearing one side of the story. I guess your family never made any mistakes...

monters Posted: Feb 28, 2004 08:18 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

THE END

mosh913 Posted: Feb 28, 2004 08:47 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Long Vent about Family

ikasse02 Posted: Feb 29, 2004 10:30 AM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Edited

I would be just as angry-you made a huge boo boo. But you obviously didn't understand the consequences so maybe you weren't trying to br mean. Understand where she is coming from, let her cool down a bit, and then kiss her behind as much as you can to remedy the situation.

PS - it seems as if you are not the only one who should be apologizing...

People make mistakes. Sometimes it takes a lot more to fix them than others...

mosh913 Posted: Feb 29, 2004 12:54 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Edited

Thanks for your input. I really appreciate it. Everybody says I have a lot of apologizing to do, as do my parents, but the thing is they have apologized more than once, and like I said, nobody ever accused her. They asked if she knew what happened to something. I tried calling twice, she hung up on me, and wouldn't take my call. My point is, is are you supposed to grovel over a mistake? How many times is somebody supposed to apologize. I got so angry because she made up lies about my mother. I think anybody would defend their mom.

aug04bride Posted: Feb 29, 2004 01:29 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Edited

This is very difficult- think about how she feels. Being suspected or accused of something you didn't do is very hurtful and may deserve groveling.

Put youself in her shoes and ask youself a few questions - How would you feel? What would it take for you to forgive someone who did this to you? Would you ever forgive them? And you should also remember you can't expect people to react to situations the same...

monters Posted: Feb 29, 2004 01:49 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Edited

one last addition- I believe that you have not been honest in this forum,telling people only one half of the story,leaving out details. You keep mentioning that you never accused her.Meanwhile you noted in your deleted post that you did not believe that she didn't cash the check , after she told you she didn't.

The biggest part that you failed to mention here, is the fact that you pulled her from your bridal party since you felt she cashed the check! How can you even say that you believed her after your actions.

mosh913 Posted: Feb 29, 2004 01:51 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Edited

I pulled her from my bridal party because she called my mother a drunk, and I was angry, now that we're airing all the dirty laundry. Coming from a very tight family YOU should understand that you always defend family, as you are doing right now even though you and her didn't speak for 12 years. I guess the saying that blood is thicker than water really is true.

purplehaze Posted: Feb 29, 2004 02:23 PM

Re: Update from weeks ago: Edited

YOu are hearing this one side of the story from a person who continuosly takes about you behind your back!!! Look at the information she has given you and take it from where it is coming from a lier and a back stabber. fsl shouldn't be saying vicious lies about anyones parents because her family are the ones she loves to back stab and talk about...she has made her bed and now she could lie in it