So, FH and I decided that we were going to open up his MMA school after the wedding. We figured we would use our gift money for that. His father ended up finding a good location that's HUGE compared to what we were thinking of getting AND it's very affordable. The problem is we def. can't do both. I am so annoyed and upset. But at the same time I would feel like a big scum bag if I told him to pass up this opportunity just to have the wedding. We are still in the process of negotiation and we don't know if it will go through. Am I being too nice here? Or should I tell him that we had an agreement that we would wait until AFter the wedding? Like I said a part of me feels really bad about telling him to pass this up, But at the same time I feel like we might get the same if not better deal w. a different property next year afetr the wedding. What do you guys think, I need some advice.
P.S. Let's try to keep this as drama-free as possible please.
Update: Hey I wanted to thank everyone for their advice and support. I went to the bank today and we know what our options are. While we were sitting down w. the loan guy we realized we would need to borrow A LOT more than expected. Long story short, FH might not have a choice but to wait until after the wedding. There's a cap on the max amount of $ we can borrow So basically we will need our gift money after the wedding (I am hoping 20K) PLUS whatever we can get in loans. We havent given up just yet. I was thinking about what most of you said and I agree that I need to focus on the big picture. If we can figure out the loan $ situation and make it work, then I am all for postponing the wedding. It really stinks, but I love FH so much that I am willing to wait another year of it means he gets to make his dream come true. As usual I will keep you guys posted ! Thanks a million girls!
mdawg
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
i think that life is about compromising, and that it may be his turn to compromise a little bit. if you already put deposits down for vendors and locations, i would say definitely tell him that he needs to postpone...
however, if there are no deposits put down on any vendors, then it could go either way.
its a tough situation, but i think youre being 100% completely reasonable this time.
good luck in your decisions.
Im a Pepper
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
that's tough! it's difficult because you'll feel bad having him give up this opportunity to have a wedding; at the same time, you might feel bad postponing it! has he said what he'd rather do or is he sort of letting you make the final call?
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
Yikes...that is a tough call...lots of communicating needs to happen. I might get flamed for this but as much as it was stink and id hate it, id probably postpone the wedding. You can have a wedding 'anytime' (meaning it doesnt have to be right now) but it sound slike this is a one time thing for him? On the other hand, id hate to see you resent him for 'makng you' wait for your wedding...
Yikes this is a tough one...sorry i am just talking in circles here! good luck
MrsLarrea2B
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
Thank you. We have almost everything booked. I even ordered my dress! I called Fox Hollow to see what the possibility was and they told me that our price per person might go up by 4 bucks. Tomorrow I have an apt. to see a business loan guy at Chase to see what his options are. I am hoping that somehow...someway we will be able to pull off both things. lol. I am so naive!
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
Posted by MrsLarrea2B
Thank you. We have almost everything booked. I even ordered my dress! I called Fox Hollow to see what the possibility was and they told me that our price per person might go up by 4 bucks. Tomorrow I have an apt. to see a business loan guy at Chase to see what his options are. I am hoping that somehow...someway we will be able to pull off both things. lol. I am so naive!
id be the same way! who knows maybe it wil all work out without you having to make a decision! Good luck!
MrsLarrea2B
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
Posted by Future Pepper
that's tough! it's difficult because you'll feel bad having him give up this opportunity to have a wedding; at the same time, you might feel bad postponing it! has he said what he'd rather do or is he sort of letting you make the final call?
He's letting me make the final call.
MrsLarrea2B
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
Posted by MrsDrinkh20
Posted by MrsLarrea2B
Thank you. We have almost everything booked. I even ordered my dress! I called Fox Hollow to see what the possibility was and they told me that our price per person might go up by 4 bucks. Tomorrow I have an apt. to see a business loan guy at Chase to see what his options are. I am hoping that somehow...someway we will be able to pull off both things. lol. I am so naive!
id be the same way! who knows maybe it wil all work out without you having to make a decision! Good luck!
lol. I am hoping that we can borrow enough money for the school and the wedding. even though financially speaking... it isn't the smartest thing to do.
Just Cindy
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
it really depends on how much you would be losing by possibly not getting back deposits. its a tough call but remember you are a team and the wedding is just one day of the rest of your lives together.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
Think in terms of the future! what would be the best decision that would impact you guys the most in terms of your future... a wedding is a wedding... a marriage is your whole life... well, at least it should be do what makes the most sense to the both of you!
GiantsBride
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
Posted by cszlaien
it really depends on how much you would be losing by possibly not getting back deposits. its a tough call but remember you are a team and the wedding is just one day of the rest of your lives together.
I agree... this is a big part of the equation... I bet because it is so far in advance you can maybe not lose out on money if you keep all of the same vendors... really I have no clue, but it seems plausible to me... sorry you have to deal with such a stressful situation!
michesq
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
what would ultimately be the best for the long term ? think that way and make the decision
tinadansr
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
what's an MMA school? just wondering?
redvelvet
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
I was originally an 08 bride. we were supposed to get married 2weeks ago. fh got a job opprtunity that sent him out of state. we couldn't get around the situation. the only option was to postpone. my vendors were all wonderful and accommodating.
at first i was so upset...i swear i was going to call the whole thing off . i was already scheduling my first fitting and getting ready to plan our menu. let's just say we had some good conflict resolution sessions.
ask urself, what's best for your future as a couple. HTH
RobNCyn
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
This is a tough one. . . I think you need to wait and see what happens. you never know what tomorrow will bring. . . and you know that you want to be together so putting it off b.c you don;t have the money to have the wedding of your dreams is okay/
I think when it all comes down to it - if the deal goes through you should go with it and postpone the wedding. We will still all be here for you and you get to enjoy your engagment a little longer.
VickiR510
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
This is not a tough one at all. I understand its your wedding BUT its actually your future your talking about. What is more important to you one day or the rest of your lives??? I think i would totally support my FH in this grand venture he is about to embark on. You need to realize what i smost important. Good Luck! I hope in the end you could actually get both!
missjones2007
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
I was orginally going to be an 08 bride as well....but since im going back to school this year we decided to wait because i didnt want to accumulate all that debt so you need to sit and talk and make a decision together.
good luck
Jsquared279
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Re: I might have to postpone the wedding
How much money would you be losing in terms of deposits since you have everything booked? Before you make any decision I would call ALL your vendors and make sure they can keep their deposit and you can still use them just with a different date. I think if they tell you no, that they would keep the deposit but not hold a new date then that is your answer. I think this is an awesome opportunity for him, but not the best timing. Another thing to consider is that purchase prices for businesses and homes and interest rates on loans are at an all time low right now. So that is also something to factor in. I would just make sure you get allll the info first and figure out the consequences before making a decision. Please let us know if you need anything!!
