Update--Might have done damage control--Don't know what to do...not to mention shower slip!!!

FutureAJ8505 Posted: May 02, 2005 09:24 AM

Update--Might have done damage control--Don't know what to do...not to mention shower slip!!!

My X just Im'd me. We are still cordial to eachother, not to mention I am very good friends with his sister and mom. but anyway, his grandmother is in the Hospital so I was sharing concern, but then he asked a question.
He was like my mom was joking with me the other day when she got your invitation. his mom asked if I would mind if she brought him as her date to my wedding.
#1 the invitation that he was talking about was for my SHOWER
#2 YES I would mind if he came!!!!!
***!!!! I am sooooooo pissed right now.
Now I may not invite her with a date. He's got some f****** NERVE
What should I do???

Thank God he didn't spill the date. I know I joke about trying to find out. but I would still be pissed

What should I do???

FutureAJ8505 Posted: May 02, 2005 10:19 AM

Re: Don't know what to do...not to mention shower slip!!!

I just e-mailed his sister and explained the situation. I asked her to talk to her mom and explain that it would not be appropriate if she brought her son. If anything, his sister will be the voice of reason. I hope this solves it. Am I doin the right thing?? I absolutely DO not want him there.
So, we will see what happens

ambersmom Posted: May 02, 2005 10:22 AM

Re: Update--Might have done damage control--Don't know what to do...not to mention shower slip!!!

I definitely think that's a ballsy move on her part and his. Regardless if things are cordial, if you're not cool with him being there, that should be the end of it! What was this woman thinking??

FutureAJ8505 Posted: May 02, 2005 10:42 AM

Re: Update--Might have done damage control--Don't know what to do...not to mention shower slip!!!

Well, I just got off the phone with his sister. She told me that she will be away during the week end of the wedding, but she will be taking a ferry to Long Island so she can make the wedding, but that would mean that her mom would have to come alone. She lives in the Bronx. So, his mom is trying to find someone to bring her and she just thought it would be her son. The sister didn't think I would mind. But I told her I DO!! I think she was a little taken back by it. SHe figured it would have been ok, 'since his girlfriend wouldn't be there.' UUUH HELLO!!! That is not the point!!!! It would be awkward for my FH, MY family and ME!!!!
AM I BEING IRRATIONAL????
IMO I just think it is very inappropriate! It has nothing to do with if we speak every now and then.

adioguardi Posted: May 02, 2005 12:22 PM

Re: Update--Might have done damage control--Don't know what to do...not to mention shower slip!!!

Maybe you are being slightly irrational in the fact that you invited his family and yet are excluding him. It might have been an assumption on his part and his mother's part that you are comfortable with all of them there. I also think that the more you react to this, the more awkward the situation will become.

FutureAJ8505 Posted: May 02, 2005 12:40 PM

Re: Update--Might have done damage control--Don't know what to do...not to mention shower slip!!!

Actually, his sister always knew that I was not inviting him, she even joked about that the fact that she would not come if he was there because they do not like his girlfriend. The mother only suggested it if she had no one else to go with her.
I have talked it out with his sister and all is good. I just didn't want it to be an issue closer the wedding date. They know my feeling on it, they understand it, case closed.
Thanks for listening.

N.Y.bride Posted: May 02, 2005 03:13 PM

Re: Update--Might have done damage control--Don't know what to do...not to mention shower slip!!!

I comPLETELY agree with you!! COMPLETELY. I would be so upset if my ex came! He was y first kiss at 12 and we just broke up 2 years ago. I invited his sister and brother in law and his mom and dad because they were like family to me for so many years but there is no way I would invite my exboyfriends b/c I would feel uncomfortable and my FH would feel that way too. Just too much history. I wouldnt like it if his ex girlfriends came either regardless of the reason.

I feel for you and I think you did the right thing by making it known. Only the people YOU want at the wedding should be there. IMO

Bumsie Posted: May 02, 2005 04:34 PM

Re: Update--Might have done damage control--Don't know what to do...not to mention shower slip!!!

You are absolutely correct for not wanting him there. Why on earth would his mother or sister think it woule be okay for him to come to your wedding is beyond me. They're obviously not thinking about your FH's feelings. How would it look if one of your FH's ex attended the wedding. Sure you might be cordial to him but it doesn't mean you would want him to be among the guests at your wedding. If him mom does not have anyone else to accompany her to the wedding, she should just graciously rsvp NO.

suezboss Posted: May 02, 2005 05:35 PM

Re: Update--Might have done damage control--Don't know what to do...not to mention shower slip!!!

OMG!
that's crazy!
of course you are not being irrational... You obviously didn't invite him for a REASON! if it wasn't much of a hint that the mom/sister got an invite adn he did not, then they are being clueless about it...