UPDATE on the no-show groomsman and wife (warning LONG)
if you didn't read the original posts about our missing groomsman, they can be found HERE and HERE
after not hearing from them still, i decided enough already and with FH's approval wrote the following email to both husband and wife:
Dear X and X
First, we wanted to express our wishes for (baby) and hope that she is doing better. We can't imagine what a difficult journey this has been for you and our thoughts have been with you. That said, we have tried numerous times over the past couple months to get in touch - not only about the wedding but also because we consider ourselves your friends and wanted to check on (baby) and see if there is anything we can do. We are, in all honesty, hurt and upset by how the past couple months have played out. We have expressed more than once that if you thought you wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding we totally understood, we just needed to know. We heard nothing from you until late October, at which point you had said you were coming and we were thrilled. After that though, despite reaching out with info about tuxedos and other things, and despite seeing post after post of yours on facebook, we heard nothing. We understand that circumstances may have changed (although exactly what has changed we don't know because we can't get in touch with you). However, a quick text, call, or even facebook message letting us know if you can no longer make it is not too much to ask. X is part of our bridal party, not just a regular guest. To not tell us but to tell someone else that you are no longer coming to our wedding, and then to not answer phone calls, texts or emails after that, is really hurtful and disappointing. We understand you have a lot going on, but when we see pictures added to facebook it means you have at least a few minutes free and we don't understand why in those few minutes you can't call or email and tell us yourselves what the situation is. At this point we can assume you will not be there, but we are truly hurt that this happened the way it did. We really do hope (baby) is getting better and wish you all nothing but the best, but we felt it was important to share how we are feeling with you in the days leading up to the wedding. Hopefully you can find the time to update us on what's going on, and until then our well-wishes are with you and (baby)
Best,
Jon and Meredith
and less than an hour later, got this back from the husband:
Guys we cannot apologize enough. Its not right and were truly sorry. Even though this apology doesn't make up for it, we are really really sorry. We really appreciate your disappointment and offer our sincerest apologies. You have no idea how diaappointing it is for us not to be able to be there. We love you lots and want to wish you a perfect day and wish we could be there. We will call you as soon as were home and things stablize around here. We are really really sorry about this and only wish you the best. Please except our sincerest apologies.
We love you lots,
X and X
so. yup. that is all.
after not hearing from them still, i decided enough already and with FH's approval wrote the following email to both husband and wife:
Dear X and X
First, we wanted to express our wishes for (baby) and hope that she is doing better. We can't imagine what a difficult journey this has been for you and our thoughts have been with you. That said, we have tried numerous times over the past couple months to get in touch - not only about the wedding but also because we consider ourselves your friends and wanted to check on (baby) and see if there is anything we can do. We are, in all honesty, hurt and upset by how the past couple months have played out. We have expressed more than once that if you thought you wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding we totally understood, we just needed to know. We heard nothing from you until late October, at which point you had said you were coming and we were thrilled. After that though, despite reaching out with info about tuxedos and other things, and despite seeing post after post of yours on facebook, we heard nothing. We understand that circumstances may have changed (although exactly what has changed we don't know because we can't get in touch with you). However, a quick text, call, or even facebook message letting us know if you can no longer make it is not too much to ask. X is part of our bridal party, not just a regular guest. To not tell us but to tell someone else that you are no longer coming to our wedding, and then to not answer phone calls, texts or emails after that, is really hurtful and disappointing. We understand you have a lot going on, but when we see pictures added to facebook it means you have at least a few minutes free and we don't understand why in those few minutes you can't call or email and tell us yourselves what the situation is. At this point we can assume you will not be there, but we are truly hurt that this happened the way it did. We really do hope (baby) is getting better and wish you all nothing but the best, but we felt it was important to share how we are feeling with you in the days leading up to the wedding. Hopefully you can find the time to update us on what's going on, and until then our well-wishes are with you and (baby)
Best,
Jon and Meredith
and less than an hour later, got this back from the husband:
Guys we cannot apologize enough. Its not right and were truly sorry. Even though this apology doesn't make up for it, we are really really sorry. We really appreciate your disappointment and offer our sincerest apologies. You have no idea how diaappointing it is for us not to be able to be there. We love you lots and want to wish you a perfect day and wish we could be there. We will call you as soon as were home and things stablize around here. We are really really sorry about this and only wish you the best. Please except our sincerest apologies.
We love you lots,
X and X
so. yup. that is all.
