UPDATE..Anyone supplement from Day One??

We're still having major problems, she just won't latch on properly and I can't go on like this--trying to nurse all day long, and watching her scream and cry out of frustration. I went to a LLL meeting yesterday, and even though I got some help and support, I just am losing hope. I called a lactation consultatn and it's $200 for 1 hour, and follow up phone calls.

Since we've been supplementing a bit already and I've been pumping, I guess I will continue to do so, but the amount of bottles will have to increase.
Has anyone done breastmilk (pumped or not) and formula from the beginning? Please tell me how it worked out. How much of each did you give? Did you pump a lot? What kind of pump did you use and did you find it hard to do all the time? I need to make sure my supply is increased soon, since Lyla doesnt' **** properly.

I have read about exclusively pumping, but don't think that's for me since she does like to nurse and gets some milk from me, just not enough to satisfy her for long. I've read that you have to get a hosptial grade pump and do it like 8 times a day. I'd rather not do that, but I am willing to pump 3-5 times a day if it means her getting as much breast milk as possible. I'm really don't want to give formula only, especially since I have milk, I hope it doesn't come to that.

Please tell me your experiences. Thanks!

Nina, Ive been there
I stuck it out (pain & tears) for 3months. Everyone does what they can. I heard of alot of moms that 'got over that hump' and it just stopped hurting.
Every ounce you have given her has already been wonderful. I think there are some LC's that are a little less expensive than that.

What exactly is the problem? The latch? Im sure LLL has said nip ple confusion and that you should have never introduced a bottle (they can sometimes make you feel worse than you already do)

Big hugs mommy

ETA: I didnt supplement from day one, it was later in the 2nd month I beleive, when I really needed the pain-relief and COULDNT nurse on scabbed and cut nips OUCH

Anna, oh the guilt people can make a new mom feel!! No offense to anyone, but I've noticed it especially from LLL people over the phone and at meeting that it HAS to be done a certain way or it's wrong.

The problem is her mouth is very tiny, her tongue doesn't come all the way out, and she doesn't open up wide enough to latch on to the entire areola. We've tried spoon feeding to avoid nipple confusion, but were not very successful. Anyway, since we've given bottles from pretty much the beginning, even if it's just a couple of times a week, she might have gotten confused and lazy.

She is SO much more satisfied when I give her a bottle, whether it's only BM or mixed with formula. She is much happier, calmer and so are we! I feel like 4 weeks is a long time to go through this. It hasn't been fun. I have stuck it out but dont know how much longer I can. It's exhausting physically and emotionally since she wants to nurse 24/7. I can't go out, b/c even if I nurse her, after 15 minutes she is hungry again. I went to IKEA on Sunday and walked around nusring her for 1 hour! And even then she still cried after about 30 minutes. Even though she has tons of dirty diapers, I'm concerned that not eating effeciently will affect her weight gain.

Oh yes they can make you feel horrible . When they show you how to do it, they SHOVE the baby's face right?? They almost gave me at heart attack at how they shoved him to my boob.
The first few months, feels like you are BFing 24/7. Up at all hours of the nite, all hours of the day. My boppy was with me 24/7. Yes it is physically and emotionally exhausting.
If you can do lets say a certain time of day bottle, and a certain time of day nurse. (Thats how I started out, and BOY does the bottle get convenient for mommy and baby!) That's pretty much how he weaned off. He preferred the bottle with no question. If you are willing for Lyla to possibly go that route, then go for it. But if you feel strongly about her also nursing, you might have to continue with it as best you can.
Are you in any pain?

I may not have experience Niha but I do have sense enough to hear the exhustation in your post. Many, many women have trouble with nursing, for a variety of reasons. IT IS NOT A REFLECTION ON YOU AS A MOTHER, LET ME REPEAT IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD MOTHER. Why should you and your daughter go through this every day because a bunch of LLL women tell you that it is 'right'? that just seems unfair to both you and Lyla.

I believe that you need to do what is best for your baby, not what a book tells you is best. You have tried sooo hard, and really tired many ideas to help. It isn't like you gave up an hour later after you started Niha.

I have read great things about the Instyle pump from Medela (sp) but it is $300, plus the supplies such as bags. from what I have read it is the best pump out there. I plan on getting this pump before the baby comes.

Maybe I don't understand since I am not in the middle of this just yet, but if I were you I would bottle feed with formula and supplement with breast milk/nursing. That way Lyla gets satisfied, you get to leave the house for an hour or two or get some rest AND you to continue nursing. Again, this is NOT coming from a mom, but it is coming from a friend.

Can you change the nipple on the bottle to one more like your own? Maybe that would cut down on the confusion. when Emma was littler i used to practically shove my nip in her mouth until she got the hang of it.

YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!!!!

Karen, to make life even more confusing for a new mom, every bottle claims to be 'like the real thing'. No matter which bottle it is, it will be much easier for the baby to get milk from than the breast (alot less effort sucking).

LLL can be very harsh. I was on the phone telling them play-by-play, my story, and the pain I was in. and they would just be very condescending and say 'YOU GAVE HIM A BOTTLE ??? WHY did you give him a bottle? Dont give him a bottle again !' and as much as I told them I was in pain (ok, picture nips feeling like open cuts/scabs that burn and now you have to nurse on top of that!) I wanted healing time and supplemented while I was able to heal (physically and emotionally ) but they just didnt see it that way. They said 'keep on nursing, just keep nursing'

Follow your heart. If you need to slow down, and give her a bottle here and there go ahead. Like you said, it will make mommy and baby happier.

I would never join LLL... FANATICS. They are like a cult or something

Anna - I know they all claim it but if you look at the nipples out there there are some that LOOK like moms. Are soft like moms. And have the same mouth placement. like Dr. browns and Playtex Nurser.

Niha I am so sorry it's been a difficult road for you! I understand COMPLETELY what you are going through. I had to supplement w/formula for Paul from the very beginning and then I exclusively pumped for a little over a month. I had to stop BFing due to back problems.

Here's some advice that a lactation consultant gave me (only, YOU don't have to pay for it!) -
* Get yourself a Medela Classic HOSPITAL GRADE electric pump - most hospitals will rent them out to you - call your MW or baby's pediatrician - they should supply a list of stores or hospitals that have them available for rent. EDITED TO ADD - go to the Medela web site - they have a search function by zip code that can help you locate a retailer or distributor that will rent a pump to you!!!


* Buy the Evenflo Elite bottles w/wide gape nipples - this will teach the baby to OPEN her mouth WIDER - these TOTALLY helped Paul learn a wider gape. NOT ALL NIPPLES can due this!!! (Refer to pic, to understand HOW MUCH this is like the REAL thing!)


* If your milk supply is low, buy the herb, Fenugreek and Mother's Milk Tea. These have been known to help increase milk supply. I can tell you from experience that the Fenugreek really helped me.

* Drink ALOT of fluids all day long.

* Make sure you're eating enough calories to produce an ample milk supply.

* And lastly, you must pump everytime Lyla eats - whether you are giving breast milk or formula. If DH bottle feeds, than you can sit at the pump and empty your breasts. If you BF Lyla, then make sure you pump after she is full, so that your breasts are emptied after each feeding.

From my own experience, exclusively pumping is very hard b/c instead of bonding w/baby, you feel like you are attached to the pump. It is not the experience you envisioned prior to the baby's birth. But, if you are committed to it, than it is your decision. You are not a bad Mommy if you cannot keep up w/BFing. But, sometimes if you stick w/it long enough, it can get easier.


Hang in there, and if you need some support - FM me, and I'll give you my home number!

Claud youre such a sweetie pie !!

MWA

Niha..
I am embarressed to say that the same thing happened to me with my son and I gave up after just a few weeks.
My breasts went to a size F and I was so uncomfortable and the frustrations we went through..arggggggggg
He was so so hungry, and even with all the help from the nurses after I was home, I just couldnt feed him correctly.
I felt so terrible about my choice, but I was to tired and in to much pain and listening to him cry for his food that I wasnt able to give him just did me in.
It was formula from there on in...

Jodi- I say this to you also, not bfing does not make you a bad or failed mother.

It makes me so sad to see so many moms feeling guilty over using formula/bottles. feeding your baby is what makes you a good mother, not the bottle or the breast. (please remind me of this after my little one comes )

Niha- how are you feeling today. EAT!! I remember Claud telling me that diet is important while bfing. perhaps you can find some good recipes on line for bfing moms.

My baby is almost 6 months now and I too had soem trouble with the bf- my babe was in intensive care which really threw a wrench into the whole mix - however, the hospital really pushed hard that I breastfeed so I tried my best - I found pumping worked best for me - I tried when I could to breastfeed but I never truly knoew how much she was getting. Threefore, I would pump as much as I could however I never got past making 4/5 ozs so therefore I supplemented the rest. I did this for the first two months. Pumping worked best for me - however, I will try again with the next one.... someday!
I don't feel bad about it,
instead I feel proud of what I did do.
Good Luck!

Well, I took a lot of your suggestions (esp. Claud) and got a Lactina pump today from a pharmacy. It was only $50 for the month plus the accesories. I also bought those Evenflo bottles, and it took Lyla a few tries to get used to, she was spilling a lot of milk out, I think we were holding it wrong.

I've pumped 3 times today, and also nursed a few times, but she doesn't get or eat much each time, hence the supplementing. Now I'm wondering about my supply, so I'm going to get mother's milk tea and fenugreek tomorrow. I also have to eat more and drink more. If I pump after nursing hardly get anything, like 1/2 an ounce from the breast that I nursed from. If I pump after 2-3 hours of nursing, I get an ounce on each side. My supply could also be low b/c I started more formula and bottles this week.

Since nursing does work for us sometimes, and Lyla does want to nurse and is comforted by it and I don't mind as long as it's not 24/7, I don't think I will pump exclusively, but I will need to do it every 3 hours until she learns to get full and empty my breast, and until my supply is increased. But, at the same time, using bottles has freed up my time tremendously, and Peter is able to be with her, while I got out and run erands for 1-2 hours. Sometimes he can't get her to stop crying, since all she wants to do is nurse (seems like more for comfort than for food), so I cant' leave her for more than 2 hours.

I didn't make an appt with a lactation consultatn yet, we'll see how this goes. I spoke to someone at LIJ, and she was SO helpful over the phone.

Jodi - I understand your feelings about giving up BFing. It is not an easy process to go through, and I too felt very badly about stopping.

Michele, I will only say this...feeling bad about ceasing to BF is not simply about feeling like a bad Mom or a failed Mom. At least for me, it was a very emotional letdown - partly b/c of hormones and partly b/c it just had a profound emotional impact on me to stop producing milk that could nourish my baby. It was truly a grieving process, if you can understand that...and, I believe it is a very natural thing to go through. I mourned the fact that I wasn't producing milk anymore - I cried in the shower when my breasts leaked b/c I saw that as wasted milk that was supposed to be for my baby, but it wasn't meant to be.

I don't think everyone goes through this the same. But for me, it wasn't about pressure that anyone put on me. It wasn't about anyone making me feel bad. It was about me, not being able to fulfill one goal I had in my child's early development.

claud- I remember how sad you were during that time. I just don't want anyone to feel bad or guilty over this is. and everyone reacts differently, of course.
to all the moms out there going thru these issues.